I am a regular poster but have namechanged for this.
My DP has been divorced for nearly 7 years. He has 4 kids aged 9 - 16, I have been with him for just over 4 years, living together for 2 years. Him and his ex have always had a difficult relationship. 1 child lives with us full time, 2 others live with us 1/3 of the time and the other child is not having contact with DP at the moment.
His ex is now saying she is going to take him to court for harrassment and obviously we are slightly concerned by this.
She has alleged harrassment a number of times, the first being when DP dropped the kids off one sunday night as was normal then, the kids had school bags with them and DP was carrying one of them, he leaned across her doorway to put the bag in her porch, she tried to slam the door on him and he instinctively put his hand up to stop the door slamming in his face. She went to the police and accused him of assault and trying to break in to her property.
He used to phone his kids each evening when they weren't with him and used his mobile to phone the house phone. He mistakenly made a "pocket" phone call to her house phone the next morning (the last number he phoned) and she had her house phone number changed and went to the police again alleging harrassment and sexual abuse.
When he was having terrible behavioural issues with their DS, he called her mobile phone as he was genuinly worried about his son, she screamed at him and told him to never phone her again. She went to the police again because he had got the number from one of their kids and she hadn't authorised him to have it.
She refuses to do any of the pick ups/drop offs for the children including the child she wants contact with who lives with us. She organises activities for the children in our time meaning that instead of picking the kids up from school or taking them directly to school, they end up having to go back to her house (we both work and have arranged with our employers to pick up and take to school only). Wherever possible we will pick up / drop off kids at clubs / work directly but this isn't always possible and ex will try and insist that DP pick them up from a road 3 streets away and then will dictate a time that we can't always do because of work. She won't allow DP on her property and tries to insist he is not allowed in her road or even on her estate.
She will only communicate by e-mail but 95% ignores the correspondence that DP sends to her. He is always polite and asks her opinion, but if she does reply she just rants at him and orders him about.
We started using a contact book (at the suggestion of the courts) but she refused to answer anything in the book. We asked her back at the beginning of October what is happening with regards to contact for Christmas (as like everyone else, we want to make plans). DP has asked her 3 times but no response. My fear is that the asking 3 times is going to be seen as harrassment but if she wont' reply to something that we need to know, then it almost puts DP in a position where he does start to pester her and I do wonder if she is doing it on purpose to justify herself.
I have thought for a while now that she wants an injunction to stop DP going near her property, we have to go through her village if we want to go out anywhere so I don't see how she can ban him from her village but what rights does she have here and what rights does DP have to defend himself?
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What is classed as harrassment?
10 replies
chilllydaytoday · 28/11/2012 11:05
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