I have 11 month old boy/girl twins from a 5 year relationship. The pregnancy was not planned (we weren't even living together) and my partner spent 2 months trying to convince me to have an abortion. He didn't want kids at the time and feared they would prevent us from following our plans of moving to the south of France and renovating a farmhouse together. I was terrified of being a single mum so when he changed his mind half way through the pregnancy I basically said yes to everything he wanted, not really thinking things through. So here I am, in the South of France, feeling totally isolated. Everything is new - the babies, living with my partner, the country etc. etc. I have lost loads of weight through stress and he can't understand why I'm not blissfully happy. When we're not arguing we're avoiding each other which is probably worse and I've come to the realisation that it's not going to work out.
Trouble is, though I faced the scenario of being a single mum with twins a year ago and I know it would be possible with the help of my mum, I haven't the foggiest of how to make that happen since we're all in France and if we split up he would want to keep the babies as much as I do. I on the other hand would have to come back to the UK because without him and this house I have nothing here whereas I have a job, property and support network in the UK. He seems to think that if that happened they could live with me half the time and him half the time and thinks I'm being a selfish when I try to explain you can't do that with babies when you live in different countries. His name is on their birth certificates. We're all British and we didn't leave the UK until the babies were 4 months old but I understand that the Hague convention prevents me leaving France with the babies without his consent. He won't even agree to me taking the babies away for a holiday to visit family and friends.
He can't leave France even if he wanted to because he has just got a huge mortgage (all in his name). Can he throw me out? I contacted a french lawyer to see how difficult it would be to get consent to leave and was told it would cost about 15k with only a 50% chance of success. So what on Earth do I do?
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splitting up abroad with babies
8 replies
shypuffin · 01/11/2012 15:41
OP posts:
babybarrister ·
02/11/2012 10:36
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babybarrister ·
16/11/2012 12:45
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