Financial issues

[fluffybear]

Hello.... I am relatively new to this but wondering if anyone can offer any advice. My partner and I both have 2 children from previous relationships. We are living together with my DC. His children visit at weekends and when ever they want to pop for tea etc, and are very much part of our family. My problem is our financial situation. We are struggling to keep our heads above the overdraft limit, my partner is a self employed carpenter and I work part time in an office. His ex partner lives in their house, and is not ready to move on, sell the property etc. There is a reasonable amount of equity in the house. He pays £340 in maintenance for his two boys on a private agreement. His income is low and he can only pay £500 towards the household bills/rent etc. My ex husband gives me £200 per month for my children, again on a private agreement. I want to discuss the possibility of going to the CSA for both my maintenance and his. It is a conversation I have tried to have before and it always ends in argument. He said we could reduce the amount we give to his children but he is frightened of possible friction, they have an amicable relationship atm. I am wondering if anyone is in the same situation or similar and can offer any advice. It is on my mind a lot because we can't afford the bills....

[countydurhamlass]

i think its time your partner sorts his finances out with his ex, ie in respect of the property. if his ex doesnt want to move on then perhaps she could buy him out? This needs to be dealt with if he is to move on with you. For 2 children he should be paying 20% of his gross wage to her. Is what he paying more or less than he should? (this will then be reduced depending on the number of nights he has them to stay). How many children do you have? Is it likely your ex-husband will have to pay you more on his wage if you go through the CSA? You also have the added problem of him actually paying the money to the CSA and not giving up his job etc.

Also is the amount you expect you will get through the CSA significantly more than what you get now? Is it going to make that much difference?

Perhaps your husband should look at alternative work, ie becoming employed by a company and have the benefit of a regular income. Could you increase the hours you work? Unfortunately, you cannot expect your husband to pay you more simply because you cannot afford the bills (depending on what he should be paying), nor can you expect your partner's ex to receive less money than what she is entitled to. You need firstly to work those figures out.

[MOSagain]

Totally agree with countydurhamlass, it really is time you both sorted out financial matters once and for all. Your partner really needs to sort out the property he owns with his ex. Were they married? If so, he needs to get a divorce under way and if she will not agree to resolve matters amicably he should consider issuing an application for ancillary relief. It is in no ones interests to let things drift on in this way.

[Collaborate]

countydurhamlass you're confusing the old (current) and the new (yet to be intriduced) schemes a little.

OP the CSA says he should pay 20% of his net income (gross as per his tax return less tax and NI, and less 100% of his pension contributions.

Eventually the new figure for 2 children will be 12% of gross income.

Under what will be the new scheme, if you have one child in your household (as you do) you deduct 12% off his income before you calculate 12% of the remainder. There will a reduced rate to pay where his income is below £200 per week.

Currently he can deduct 15% from his net income because he has one child in his household, and again if his income is below £200 per week then a reduced rate will apply.

[fluffybear]

He pays £340 a month and has them to stay every other weekend. The money works out to be much more than 20% of his income but it was agreed £170 per child per month, he now doesnt want to go against his word and change it. My point is that we cannot afford to live, we cannot have treats etc, as we can't afford it. He was not married to his ex partner and has asked her to consider buying him out, she says she cannot afford it as her salary isn't enough to get a mortgage alone. All the while, his name stays on the mortgage, although she pays it herself. She says "give me another year"
I am not asking him to support my children, as their father gives me maintenance for them ( i have 2 children). I think if I went via the CSA for this I would be entitled to more. I do not want his ex partner to be given less than she is entitled to, however we take them on days out, holiday, buy clothes, etc too. I know being a single mother is not easy, as I have been there myself, but I also know that financially I was better off than we are now.
He is self employed in a family business and would be difficult for him to leave and find another job where he would be employed. I work already 30 hours during school hours, I could take another job but would jeopardise my time with my children......tricky, complicated situation !

[MOSagain]

oh dear, unfortunate they weren't married as in my opinion, that would have made things a little easier with regards to him getting his share of the property.

He really does need to think about instructing a lawyer to deal with this so he can try to get his share.

[fluffybear]

unfortunately, I don't think he will do this. She says she can't afford it and because of the children, he won't force a sale. Legally I believe he could ask her to put it up for sale because they weren't married but he doesn't want to go down that route. She does have a male "friend" who stays there but hard to prove how often, without getting children involved. I just don't know where to go from here? I show him the bank account, he says why are you getting yourself worried, it will be ok.....

[RedHelenB]

I think if you want more money you either need to get a better job to support your children or make sure their father pays what he is supposed to. The way you are phrasing it does sound as though his children will get less so that yours have more (either by losing their home or having less income) & I can't see how that can't result in ill feeling tbh.

[fluffybear]

Its not that I want more money, we need more money to pay the joint household bills. I would never see his children getting less. I have deferred a uni place and then lost it as he didn't want me to go and study. That is the reason I only work 30 hours a week. We would never see either one of our children going without anything but think if we agreed to live together it should be 50/50. I get £200 a month for my 2 children and he pays out £340, on his small wage.