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Legal matters

he's refused mediation? what happens now?

7 replies

Happylander · 20/03/2012 12:49

I asked my solicitor to sort out some mediation for me and Ex. He actually sent her an email a few months ago saying he would like to do this. Now he has told mediation company that he is not willing to do this and they alluded to the fact that is might have something to do where he now lives but did tell me they tried to get him to see it would benefit DS in the long run etc etc but he flatly refused. He already has a contact order in asking for everything I am giving him apart from now he has added that I must drive halfway with DS to where he now lives.

Anyway does the court not tell you to have mediation anyway? Does it look bad on me for him refusing to go to mediation?

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Happylander · 20/03/2012 12:51

Oh and he is self representing but refusing to answer some of my questions regarding contact. Who am I supposed to ask? I am not willing to waste time or money on solicitors for very basic contact questions.

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Collaborate · 20/03/2012 13:31

The thing about mediation is that no one can be forced to go. You'll have to ask your questions at court instead.

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Happylander · 20/03/2012 15:03

Does that make the whole process longer though because how can I respond to his demands if I don't know what they are? Doesn't it just mean the Judge will just delay it to another hearing?

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Collaborate · 20/03/2012 16:15

The judge might be able to persuade him to go to mediation, but can't force him. He'll have to say what he wants at some point. If he can't tell the judge at the first hearing I'm not sure that there's anywhere for the application to go. I'm sure you'll learn something by the time it gets to court.

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Happylander · 20/03/2012 17:10

I am already giving him what he wanted, I have moved swimming lessons to a time that is neither good for me or DS and stopping the football. I have always agreed the day and times he wanted DS but it is him failing to turn up. He has now added forcing me to do a 3 hour round trip which I will not do as I do not have the money to do it plus I am not the one that has moved away from the family home so I will never agree to that and told him I would just sell my car. I would like to point out that he will happily drive 6 hours each way to see the OW every weekend though.

I am fed up and was hoping it would be a lot more amicable than this. It just gets worse and no matter what I do to try and meet his next demand he adds something else to it. I have another 16 years of this rubbish and I am finding that difficult to deal with today.

On a good note thank god I am no longer with such an unreasonable, controlling, selfish man.

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Collaborate · 21/03/2012 07:38

It's a good idea not to start 2 threads about the same subject.

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Happylander · 21/03/2012 08:53

People have said to put subject in legal as well so I did.

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