well I have court hearing date....

[Happylander]

Ex requested every other weekend when he first walked out. I of course said yes, actually I said 'is that all you want?' Anyway he fails to turn up and has never stuck to every other weekend as he is too busy getting pissed with OW. He then put in contact order to get what I had already agreed to because I wanted DS to carrying on going to his activities in particular swimming as the sea is at the end of my road and I want him to learn to swim plus it is not forever as once he can swim that's it. I backed down on the football though but he still went ahead and paid the £200 for contact order.

Anyway he sent me his next lots of dates up until October a couple of days ago and they aren't every other weekend either as he has put that on some of his weekends he can't have him. No explanation just 'not having him you are'. Now am I the only one to think that if he is taking me to court for every other weekend which I have already agreed to, but he doesn't stick to, that he is going to look a plonker in court??

Will the judge look at his emails to me where it shows he doesn't want him for some of his weekends and that when I have offered alternatives so DS still gets to see him that he has turned them down saying he has plans?

What can I expect in court?

[Woody72]

You can't dictate what he does when he has contact and should avoid booking things for the weekends he has contact. Having a list of dates to October is a very good start. The Court will not usually want to look at emails etc but they will want you to talk about the situation/problems. If the contact is there but he isn't using it there isn't much you can do. Occasionally things happen when contact needs to be changed and its upsetting for the child and annoying for you. It has to be well in advance unless it is an emergency situation. Don't expect an explanation from a difficult ex, you just have to accept that something else is more important to him. These changes in contact are called variations to the contact order. Bring it up in Court if you think there are too many changes to the regular contact and let him explain himself. Good luck.

[Happylander]

My DS has gone to swimming lessons since he was 12 weeks old. Ex wanted him to have swimming lessons and I find it strange that because Ex decided to walk out on me for another woman that our DS now has to stop doing something that he has been doing for the past 2 years. It isn't that I have booked it but that he is already been doing it and it is for 30 mins on a Saturday morning. Parenting isn't always about doing what the parent wants but about what is beneficial to a child. When you live by the sea learning to swim is quite important and it is only going to be until he can swim well not forever.

[ZillionChocolate]

Have you considered whether your ex could take your son to the swimming lessons on "his weekends"? That could go in the Court's order if it is agreed.

[Happylander]

That is what I want him to do I only want him to take him until he goes into the next class which hopefully be on a day in the week that I can do. He is refusing and he has just told me that he is now demanding that I drive DS halfway. He walked out not me and quite frankly I don't see why my weekends be taken up with driving because he can't be arsed to get out of bed to get here by 9am!

Plus I can not afford it I am living off about £150 a month after all bills as it is so if I were to drive halfway I would then have to try and live off £50 a month. This would also mean I can not work any extra shifts to try and get extra money for DS clothes or little camping trips away he knows I need to do extra shifts. He knows that by forcing me into driving that I will also have to give up being in the Territorial Army as I am doing that the weekends he has him. He is such a selfish man. He treated his first wife like this and now me.