Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

Please help, ex has'stole' kids

10 replies

fleeingdv · 01/03/2012 19:04

Fled dv to a refuge in Nov, then went for a visit to a friends in Jan and couldnt return as my mum told my ex everything out of anger. In limbo for a while, then went back to another refuge while sorting a house to rent. Ex rang (broke bail) and I gave in and let him have kids to visit "while i got my house sorted". A few days later he then refused to let me have them back, unless i moved near him. I drove down asap (6 hour drive) but could not be housed at all because I became homless through my own actions. Ex making more and more criteria I have to meet before i am allowed them back (i was breastfeeding youngest), he applied for temp cust (while I meet his standards) , hearing is on 6th and i have just instructed my solicitor to attend now i am seeing the light (ex told me it wasnt going to go through,but has changed his tune now his bail was lifted today and now gets legal aid as he has the boys)
I just want my boys back, can this happen at exs temp cust hearing? is it likely? He says I just dumped them there... It's a complete mess, he wont even give our tenants notice so I can live back in the home (he is at his mums)...

OP posts:

Report

fleeingdv · 01/03/2012 19:20

sorry tobump xx

OP posts:

Report

olgaga · 01/03/2012 20:41

If you've instructed a solicitor, what did they say?

You might find it useful to contact Women's Aid, if you haven't already. There's a helpline number or you can find your local contact.
www.womensaid.org.uk/

Who did you get advice from when he refused to give them back when he was still on bail? Did you report the fact that he'd broken his bail conditions?

Lots of questions I know, but hopefully one of the lawyers might be able to give you some pointers. It's a bit confusing though - and yes it's a mess.

Report

fleeingdv · 01/03/2012 20:49

solicitor only said do I have somewhere to bring the children, i mainly talked to his secretary doing forms.
Been on phone to WA most of evening, i dont know whether to snatch kids back before 6th?

OP posts:

Report

fleeingdv · 01/03/2012 20:50

i just did what ex asked, i didnt report anything though i told social services when they called, but they only went and checked kids at his. Police didnt care he broke bail.

OP posts:

Report

olgaga · 01/03/2012 23:58

I take it there's no formal residence/contact arrangement in place at the moment. I'm not sure it will help to snatch the children back when the hearing is so close, it could get even messier.

I think you've just got to leave it to the solicitor and hopefully the hearing on the 6th will restore them to you - especially as you were still breastfeeding the youngest, that's a clear welfare issue and I'm surprised SS didn't take more notice! Also in the circumstances of him agreeing to have them temporarily and then refusing to give them back.

It's obviously a nightmare and I'm very sad for you.

Report

mumblechum1 · 02/03/2012 03:25

I would issue an interim residence application if I were you. That won't achieve anything in the next four days but is an indication of your intentions.

Report

fleeingdv · 02/03/2012 10:09

What is an interim residence application? I just want them back, to how it was - I agreed for him to see them (though he was on bail at time and never applied for access, but, I told the police it was ok at a contact centre to start). My solicitor isnt back until monday so I cant talk to him about it - all I know is he asked me if I had somewhere to take the kids so I presume he is trying to win them back? How soon can they come back?

OP posts:

Report

fleeingdv · 02/03/2012 10:15

no residence/contact order in place, except something i signed with social services saying I agreed to no contact with ex (before he manipulated me:( and now ill get in trouble )

Just phoned SS who said it was a court matter, he has parental responsibility blah blah even over the baby

OP posts:

Report

cestlavielife · 02/03/2012 14:35

so you agreed no contact with ex then you ahd contact and willingly handed your Dc over to him?

you might need to think through how you will explain that to SS/CAFCASS and judge.

ie on face of it you happy for him to have the DC and care for them.

so you would need now to come up with strong welfare issues why he should no longer have them.

as it stands it migh end up 50/50??

depends on all the background. maybe speak to womens aid/refuge legal adviser in more detail if your solicitor is charging you

Report

fleeingdv · 02/03/2012 16:40

he said police had said contact was ok, and SS had closed the case... and he had me even apologising for causing all this "mess" :( oh jesus