I want to give my friend the best advice I can so I thought I'd ask MN Wisdom for their thoughts:
We'll call her F. Her DH effectively walked out 3 years ago. She now has just one dependent DC, 15. She has made no legal arrangements at all (I know, I know) since he left. They jointly own the house F lives in, and though her DH pays nothing else- she's had to desperately scratch as many hours out of work as is poss- he does pay the mortgage. He's been in borderline financial trouble for ever ( a mid-life breakdown thing sort of precipitated the walk out).
She gets an annual statement from the mortgage provider, obv addressed to both of them. It came in Jan, as usual, she opened it and checked it, all OK, but then a week or so later she got another letter so she opened it and it was them saying the latest payment had 'failed to go through' so they'd try again in a named number of days, 4 or 5?
She's seen nothing since so is assuming he's paid it.
She cannot approach him about it as a) she sees practically nothing of him and b) flies easily into a rage if challenged.
I don't know whether she should write to the mortgagers and ask about what they can put in place should they run into problems paying (the mortgagers don't know about the separation as, I guess, why should they?) as a pre-emptive measure or whether this might be a bad idea as, in these straitened times, could it cause the bank (?) to take fright once alerted to a possible default OR might it make them be more reasonable should they not pay on time? I have always imagined they'd behave like they do re over-drafts: more understanding and reasonable if pre-warned of an impending problem (if not pre-arranged, of course), or might it seriously backfire?
Of course, the real answer is for them to talk about it and then maybe jointly approach the bank to request a reduction in payments, a 'holiday' or a re-mortgage but that isn't likely to happen, given his 'emotional state'
WWYD?
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Advice pls: Mortgage default may be in the offing. Inform Mortgage provider now?
17 replies
LittenTree · 29/01/2012 16:26
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