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Legal matters

Redirecting post of stbx - do I have to? Domestic violence involved

9 replies

PostmanPatsy · 09/01/2012 05:51

My stbx had been left the marital home for 6 months. During this time he has assaulted me and he has a date for returning to the police for further questioning. Since the assault he has not come near the house fortunately.

My question is he his still getting an enormous amount of post delivered here for both personal and business matters. I have asked him many times to let people know his new address. He could get his office staff to sort our the business correspondence. It includes stuff like bank statements etc.

At first he came to the house to collect it. Then I started leaving it elsewhere for him to collect, and I have also delivered it to his office when I know he is not there. Recently I have been readdressing it and putting it back in the post. Do I have to continue with these efforts legally? I am tempted to just write gone away on them so the companies concerned have to deal with the problem. I see it as a way of controlling me. Can I open it? I do have shares in the business.I suspect he is waiting for me to do something illegal with it but I dont know the law!

Any suggests would be gratefully appreciated.

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PrincessWellington · 09/01/2012 10:46

I had this problem. You write him a recorded letter stating from x date you need him to redirect his post or you will be returning it to sender. Then do it. However, my ex didn't own or part own the property. He can pay the post office to redirect it all it's cheap enough. Maybe you could include details of this in your letter so he sees an easy solution? Not legal advice, just personal experience though

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PostmanPatsy · 09/01/2012 11:12

I said this verbally a couple of months ago before communications broke down altogether so I will do it by letter now, thanks. I think I might send a copy to his business partner as well as the business post is as much his as stbx's. How long did you give him? I think maybe 14 days from the date on the letter? Thanks.

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PrincessWellington · 09/01/2012 11:21

I think I said the last day of the month. So 2 weeks should be reasonable. Expect a kick off though, they don't like having their control taken away. Sad

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sneezecakesmum · 09/01/2012 17:11

Get in touch with the post office customer services and ask what you can do.

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nocake · 09/01/2012 17:16

I will warn you that the post office's redirection process is shit and completely unreliable. If you have the same surname expect much of your post to be redirected as well as they seem to be unable to tell the difference between Mr A Smith and Mrs P Smith.

When I split with my ex lots of her post got redirected to me and a friend recently had the same problem, which resulted in some serious issues with her mortgage as paperwork didn't get to her.

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PostmanPatsy · 09/01/2012 18:16

I have done it. I addressed the letter to him and his business partner and sent it recorded delivery. Plenty of the post has the business name on it but hopefully it will shame him into taking action. I sent a message to the partner saying what I had done and that the letter was harsh in tone but it wasnt directed at him. He said no problem. Phew.
PrincessWellington I hope this way of doing it will stop him kicking off as much as usual.
nocake I will watch out for anything I think might be important and open it! Seriously I have no idea what the legalities of opening post are after this length of time. I am still for now involved financially in the business so that surely is legal for me to open it. Stbx private stuff - well its his look out if it goes astray.

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EllenandBump · 09/01/2012 18:27

You could even speak to victim support and find out what they suggest you to do? They would know where the law stands too. x

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Tmesis · 09/01/2012 18:34

Could you not just mark as "Return to sender -- not at this address" and stick it back in the post? AFAIK you have a legal duty not to interfere with the post (so can't open it yourself or burn it in your back garden) but no legal duty to forward it on just because you happen to know where the addressee is; returning it all to sender should be fine.

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PrincessWellington · 10/01/2012 11:43

You can return to sender anything he doesn't redirect. I did. If the bank gets redirected mail they will contact him afaik because he was whinging about that. He still has his mail on redirect now - as he is of no fixed abode ie living with the ow while she claims tax credits. Hmm

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