Can I have some legal advice please re: split with partner

[kittyprincess]

Hi

I have recently split with my partner of six years, we have two children together. I have a son from my marriage. We have a property together, I am here at the moment.

He put the initial deposit down and has paid mortgage and bills, I put in approx. £24K on renovations for the property.

Things are starting to get acrimonious, he is saying he can force through the sale of the house. My income is very little his is over £50k per annum. I cannot afford to rehouse myself and the children and would have to go to the council in the hope of obtaining a home. he wants his money out so he can buy another property (probably same value as this).

where do I stand, i am petrified of getting turfed out on the street. Cannot afford legal advice. Currently he is paying bills and mortgage rather than child maintenance.

Any help would be really gratefully received.

[mumoverseas]

So sorry about the breakdown of your relationship.
Assume you are not married (this makes a difference)
Is the property in joint names? If so, are you joint tenants or tenants in common (if so what share do you have each?)

He cannot force a sale quickly, it will take some time if you don't agree so please don't worry about being turfed out. If he has any sense he will try to reach an amicable agreement with you regarding the equity in the house and child maintenance. If you can't reach an agreement (ref the house) then he will need to make an application through the courts (think its a trusts of land application but I'm sure someone helpful like Mumblechum or Babybarrister will com along soon and advise on that) Ref maintenance, if no agreement reached then CSA. Guideline used to be 20% of his net income (gross less tax, NI and pension contributions) for two children.
Are you getting maintenance for your child from previous relationship?

[kittyprincess]

We are joint owners I don't know about tenants in common. Mortgage and everything is in both our names.

At the moment our mortgage is very small as its interest only so rather than pay maintenance he is paying mortgage and bills (circa £400 a month).

I have been battling CSA for six years for money for my son and have had hardly anything. he has watched my exhusband play the system so knows it can be done.

I am so frightened I am going to end up homeless with the children.

we are not married.

[marantha]

Not a lawyer, but if you're joint owners then I would have thought that it means just that- you own the house jointly.
Therefore, he can't sell house without consulting you/getting your agreement.
Am assuming this joint ownership is black-and-white on paper, though.

[kittyprincess]

I don't think he would do that as he is very concientious of money and would not want anything to go against him.

[kittyprincess]

I think so I am literally on the breadline now he has left, am having to claim for most benefits. I always have been given impression that legal aid lawyers are not great.

[kittyprincess]

Will go to CAB on Monday and see what they recommend.

Am so frightened I feel sick and I can't eat.

[kittyprincess]

what about a mesher (sp?) order who does that benefit?

[mumoverseas]

why would you think legal aid lawyers are not great?
With respect, I think you will find that there are many lawyers who do both private and public funded (legal aid) work. In my experience, the clients get the same standard of work but private ones are charged approximately three times as much.

A Mesher order is basically an order which can provide for the wife to remain in the FMH (former matrimonial home) with the children until one of various trigger events. These are usually her death, voluntary sale of the property or the youngest child reaching 16/17/18/ceasing full time education (whichever agreed). Some Judges in certain areas will agree to cohabitation for 6 months being a trigger, others won't. At the trigger event the property is then sold (or the wife can buy out the husband) and the parties will then get their share (not necessarily 50/50)

But what do I know as a crap former legal aid lawyer

[kittyprincess]

sorry mumoverseas i have been told that everyone seems to have an opinion on what i should do. no offence meant.

so does the mesher order not apply if you are unmarried?

he is getting so nasty, saying that he is going to force me out and he can force through the sale of the house asap. i am petrified.

[mumoverseas]

thats ok, the problem is, there will always be someone giving opinions of their circumstances which are always different. I'm sure there are crap public funding (legal aid) lawyers, there are also no doubt crap private client lawyers.

Sorry, should have made it more clear (typing whilst juggling DS) Mesher orders are in financial proceedings following divorce. No reason why you can't do something similar though if he will agree. (he may not now but may in the future)

What about mediation? I'm sorry he is getting nasty, that does sometimes happend sadly. He can't force you out if house is in joint names. He would have to make an application to the court which will take some time, sometimes up to 12 months if you don't agree. He is using bullying tactics and you cannot allow him to do so.

you may well be eligble for public funding so make a few phone calls on Monday. Ideally you would find a family lawyer who is a member of Resolution (a group who try to ensure family breakdown is dealt with as amicably as possible)
In the meantime, do not let him get to you. Unlikely he will stop paying the mortgage as he would end up getting credit blacklisted.
Main thing is, get legal advice asap and try not to be intimidated by him. Good luck

[BenignNeglect]

As I understand it he cannot force a sale particularly fast - and may not succeed - so try to keep calm.

From what I recall: He can only force a sale by going to court - as I understand you are unmarried and from what you've said are a joint owner, so he would have to apply for a court order (for info I think he'd be applying under section 14 of the trust of land and appointments of trustees act 1996).

The court has to take account of:

1. the wishes of the owners;
   
2. the interests of any children resident in the property (although I understand that reported cases don't give this that much weight); and
   
3. the interests of the bank (as it has security over the house).
   

The court can:

1. order sale; or
   
2. give an order that one side or the other gets to live in the house (which could be time restricted - e.g. until the last child reaches 18).
   

If they go for option 2, the person occupying the house may be required to make payments to the person who is not allowed to live in the house (effectively, rent).

While this is still going on, the mortgage still has to be paid.

If he is going to be an arse, you really need to get a solicitor. The CAB will be able to point you in the direction of one.

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

Nothing can be done without your consent, as the house is in your name. So, don't be bullied, and take time to think about things.

From a practical stance though, what are the state of the combined finances? He may earn a lot, but what are the outgoings? Of course he will need to be housed also, and the most practical way of achieving this would be to sell the house.

You need to know that in order to be funded by legal aid, you will need to attempt mediation. Whether or not mediation is successful is another matter. Also, you can agree issues like contact with the children in mediation.

[kittyprincess]

it is the most practical solution yes, but i am worried about what will happen after the sale of the house.

my salary is £6k his is over £50k, i will never get another mortgage and the council won't house me if I have a large sum of money in my account. Likewise, I don't want to spend this 'nest egg' on rent as then i will have nothing to put into a future house should I meet someone (can't even think about that now but you know where I am coming from). Also if I die, the children would be left with nothing.

I just don't know how it will work so the children benefit the most.

[marantha]

I think your partner is legally required to maintain the children you had with HIM.
I think marriage is irrelevant when it comes to financial support for children (as it should be, I think).

As an unmarried ex-partner, he has no obligation to provide you with maintenance.

[marantha]

Don't get me wrong, he may decide to give YOU (not just children) an allowance each month, that would be up to him, but he doesn't HAVE to do it IYSWIM.

[Joy5]

Hi
I'm in a similar position Kittyprincess, with almost the same income and an husband who wants to sell the family home, and move us into rented accommodation. He has managed to obtain a council flat for himself.
Can you tell me the outcome now for you, going out of my mind with worry, we've got such a bad credit rating i'm being turned down for rented accommodation, want to stay in the family home if its the only alternative until my youngest has left school.
Would really like to know what has happened to you.

[olgaga]

kitty, please have a good read of this link:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_relationship_when_you_re_living_together.htm

For further information, here are the legal differences between being married and living together:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm#Ending_a_relationship

This 5 minute benefits check should help you with financial planning in future:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check

This is the HMRC tax credits calculator:
taxcredits.hmrc.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx

[MOSagain]

HELLO! VERY VERY OLD THREAD, HIGHLY UNLIKELY OP STILL GOING TO BE READING!

[Flightty]

Yes, but Joy5 has clearly searched for a thread like this and might well find those links helpful.

[olgaga]

Hi, yes it was bumped by Joy5 so I thought I'd post those links - just got the name confused...the "Living Together" info also provides links to married info too.

[MOSagain]

Yes Flighty but Joy5 has asked Kitty what happened in her situation and I was merely pointing out she may not be checking this thread anymore!
Joy why not PM the OP and see if she is still around, she might be able to tell you what happened in her case