dh is ready for no3, am I?

[crumbled]

I'm new to mumsnet and am intrigued by all the 'talk'. My dd is 4 this week, my ds is 2y4m and I'm approaching 35. Always thought the baby days would be over by time I was in my mid 30s for various reasons.

I know 'I'm not done' and being one of three myself am 99% sure that one more child is what I am desperate for. My husband wants to go for it now. Our dd and ds are both super and don't give us many problems.

What is it that is holding me back? Any advice? Am I just scared?

[ReneRusso]

I'm inclined to say just go for it. Maybe thats because I waited too long, I'm 38 and my youngest is 7. I'm TTC #3 now and nothing's happening. However if you're feeling a bit unsure maybe you should listen to your instincts and try to work out whats holding you back? Are you secretly hankering after more time for yourself for career, hobbies or adult time? Are you unsure if your relationship can take the strain of another? However, there are always going to be doubts so my advice would be go for it. You don't want to look back in your forties with regret and wish you had done it.

[crumbled]

Absolutely, I couldn't bear to be wondering for the rest of my life. That would be dreadful. As it sounds like your experiencing, nothing might come of it anyway, but at least that would make a decision for us.

I suppose part of me thinks that it all just seems like bloody hard work to do all over again. I have just got to the stage where both children are relatively independent, play with each other tolerably well and don't cause me too much bother all things considered so maybe I am just a bit anxious about altering the family dynamics. In fact, I think that's exactly what is holding me back.

My dd keeps asking for us to have another baby so maybe she'll be lots of help!!

I hope you are successful ReneRusso and I wholeheartedly am glad you suggest to just go for it!

[tobago04]

I know exactley how you feel,i have 2 dds,4y2m and 2y6m,my husband wants another but it's just a bit scarey is'nt it? i'm worried about the money and how you physically get out the house with 3!But think i'd regret not having another more than i'd regret having one.i think it would be nice when they grow up as well as they'd have each other.Theres a few mums a my dds nursery who have 3 kids and they say its no harder than having 2.I think the reality of having a third is more real than when you have your first and second as you know what your letting yourself for this time round!

[crumbled]

it's good to hear some mums saying that 3 is no harder than 2. the eldest one must be able to help a little bit or is that wishful thinking!?! Also, my eldest would be at school by the time anything happened and my youngest getting his vouchers at playgroup so there would be some time each day with the newborn on his/her own.

I'm feeling braver already!

[JeanPoole]

interesting question.
i have one and and often [everyday]
asked when the next one is
she is 2

[crumbled]

do you mean she asks if you're having another baby?! it's amazing how little girls seem programmed to want to care for babies... doubt my son would feel the same!

[JeanPoole]

no dd doesn't ask me, she hardley talks tbh.
friends and family and strangers come to think of it ask me