My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Larger families

Grim subject . . .

9 replies

tummytickler · 25/05/2009 20:31

Hi all,
Dh and i have been thinking about what would happen to our children if we were both to die in an accident or something.
We cant think of anyone who could cope / would want to cope with 4 (poss 5/6) kids.
Mum says she would of course do it, but my Dad has MS, and when she has them to stay the night (once every school holiday - God bless my ma!), she does not seem to cope terribly well and my Dad will only get worse.
I dont trust anyone else, except for a cousin who has 3 children herself, and 2 of my very best friends, but my children dont know them as one lives in Ireland (we have known each other since we were born though - oour parents were friends), and another who also lives a good 8 hours away, and i would want them to stay connected to the extended family.
It also seems a bit cheeky to ask anyone - would you have ALL of our children should we die!
DH family are totally no-go for us.

What have you all done. I am really worried about this (although i am not planning to drop any time soon )

OP posts:
Report
WriggleJiggle · 25/05/2009 20:33

Absolutely. No matter how many children I would be very very insistant (insistent?) that they all stay together.
I can think of nothing worse than losing your parents, and then being split up from your siblings.

Report
FiveGoMadInDorset · 25/05/2009 20:36

No problem at all, as far as I am concerned they would all stay together.

Report
saintlydamemrsturnip · 25/05/2009 20:36

Slightly different situation but we have a challenging family too - we have 3 including an eldest child who is severely autistic. They would go to my parents because although my parents are getting older there really is no-one else who could cope at all.

Report
FromGirders · 25/05/2009 20:38

Do you have a close friend, or one of the children's god-parents?
Another (related) thought - do you have enough life insurance so that whoever took them on would have enough money to bring them up?

Report
PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 25/05/2009 20:40

tummytickler

we have no family and currently 6 dcs

I have asked a dear friend who already has 3...

she says yes!! We would obviously leave her our assets and house...

ask your friends - we felt we had to as really no alternative

Report
tummytickler · 25/05/2009 20:48

Oh yes i would definately want them to stay together and preferably local!
I feel as though i should sort something out!
Am i right to assume that if there was nothing specified they would all end up with my parents? (Which I would prefer as a default option but think my mum would need a hell of a lot of help, although she is youngish and fit she gets VERY stressed).
thanks for all your replies!

OP posts:
Report
rubles · 26/05/2009 08:24

Not sure about the cost, but could you get life insurance that paid a monthly amount to cover the cost of a nanny, say until the youngest is 12, that would then help your mother out?

Report
flamingobingo · 26/05/2009 08:35

What have I done about our family? I've buried my head in the sand!

I am fairly certain, though, that my parents and my PIL would work out something that would be as right as it could be for our children because they both know, and also believe in, our priorities for our children.

Report
tummytickler · 26/05/2009 09:03

Rubles - I will look into that, thanks, a great idea.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.