Some musings on development from a mother of four...

[sorkycakey]

I don't know why but I found my self reading through some of the, frankly ridiculous, posts on the G&T and it got me musing.

Dd1- I watched her all day played, sang, taught numbers, colours etc. We didn't put the tv on until she was 2!! She did Tumbletots, swimming, baby-yoga (ffs), I constantly wanted to know if she was bright compared with her peers, blah,blah,blah

Ds1- arrived 20 months later. Don't have any memories of his first 2 years, it's all a blur. Think we managed Tumbletots, that's it. He taught himself to read at 2, and God knows how he knows the stuff he does. Cbeebies became a rather regular visitor to the house when he was 6mo , I remember he walked at 14 months and could speak rather well at 18 mo and of course his grandmothers think he's quite bright,but he's just Ds2 o us.

Ds2- came along when Dd was about to turn 5, we also HE at this point. At 10 months he started to walk, that's pretty much what I remember of his babyhood. It feels as if I'm constantly having to retrieve him from precarious heights, remove buckets from his head and hunt his frequently hidden poo's.
He's now 2.4 yo and I've only just realised he can count, identify all shapes and colours and some letters, but has next to no speech. As his speech is so crap we thought he didn't know anything

Good grief this isn't writing well is it?

Anyhoo, here we are with Dd2 aged 3 months, she is the last and I'm desperately trying to remember and treasure every giggle.

Is everyone else with numerous children the same, or am I just crap?
Does the sparkle wear off when we have more, or is it that time is too scarce to spend cajoling a 2yo into identifying flashcards correctly?
Is the lack of "knee-time" likely to scar my kids? Or does it all come out roughly ok in the end?
Just musing really....

[flamingobingo]

exactly the same

I think it's better for the later children - they get to grow up much more naturally without the intensive observation and interference of their adoring parents

my dc2 came when my first was 20m. third came whe i had a 3.5yo and a 23m old, and the fourth came when her big sisters were 5, 3.5 and 21m

[sorkycakey]

thank god it's not just me

I was talking to someone the other day who has a baby the same age (pfb) They were wittering on about weaning in a months' time and asking me about Annabel Karmel, pureeing etc

I just turned round and said I don't do any of that guff, I just feed them whatever we have really, but they call it BLW

That's it isn't it? BLW is weaning for mothers of many. Who the feck has the time to cook 3lbs of pear & apples to puree?!?

Dd1 had everything organic and nutritiously combined, Ds1 survived on some jars and generally the meal we ate. Ds2 we BLW and I think I'll just BF this one 'til she can eat curry!!

[flamingobingo]

DD4 (7.5m) keeps napping through meals and I keep suddenly realising she's only had bmilk all day long. But she seems to be growing and thriving and developing ok, so I guess it's doing her no harm! Hurray for 'just for fun until they're one'

[flamingobingo]

I also find myself going 'DD1, why's DD4 crying? Oh, she's just banged her head? Oh well. Give her a kiss for me, will you?' instead of 'OMG, she's really injured herself, she's going to die, call an ambulance' as I did with DD1 (ok, slight exaggeration but you know what I mean!)

[Divvy]

I think you learn quite quickly not to compare them anymore as well! I learnt that lesson quite hard with my 2nd child.

Life is mostly a blur, in a good way

Also when they are older and ask questions about when they were younger, you can always bend things a little (cos you cant remember)

[CarGirl]

Yes that sounds so similar although my middle are only 14 months apart so they played with each and I was always keeping an eye on them in case of biting etc However my youngest is just so "naughty" I think she needs to be to make sure she gets noticed

[Madmentalbint]

Very familiar

I was so much more relaxed with my youngest two when they were very little and just enjoyed them as they were, rather than always pushing encouraging them on to the next milestone, like I did with my eldest two

I'm much more chilled now...and the wine helps

[sorkycakey]

I noticed today how erm independent they are.
I was bf'ing LO and they were asking for a snack so I said there are some strawberries in the fridge, when they came back in the living room they each had a little bowl with chopped strawberries in it.
Dd1 had taken the tops off, sliced and shared them out. She's a bit too good at it IMO

[flamingobingo]

Mine do that too. They've just been watching tv and I've been MNing, like the good Mummy that I am, and they decided they were hungry, so DD1 went in the kitchen and got a chair so she could reach the weetos (not as healthy as your children's snack ) and poured it into four bowls (for the three oldest and one for me too! Without being asked!) and then said 'we can't have milk, everyone, because there isn't enough, sorry!' She's only just about to turn 6! Far too independent for her own good

[CarGirl]

My 6 year old regularly gets breakfst for the others including toast!

[flamingobingo]

Mine would, except I do because I'm there already making mine usually. She's made them all sandwiches for lunch before when I've been a depressed, weeping mess!

[DarrellRivers]

I only have 2, but looking back at the video evidence of Dd as PFB, I feel
It all works out in the end
[wishes she had got started earlier to have had a bigger family emotion}

[mum23monkeys]

I love this thread - particularly Cargirl's 6 year old making toast. MOst mn discussion (not on larger families) make me feel rather inadequate and slightly slapdash about my parenting.

ds1 was a real pfb. I remember telling my mum not to say "no" to him because it upset him and we were trying to raise him in a positive atmosphere . Give my mum her due, she did as I asked!

ds2 - total blur. I remember taking lots of photos of him as I realised that I would have no real memories of his babyhood and I wanted some concrete evidence of things he had done.

dd - didn't even bother with the photos. Just survived.

And thank goodness bf and blw are fashionable at the moment. ds2 and dd have definitely had the better end of the stick though.

[sorkycakey]

I reckon the larger families topic is the exact refuge we need sometimes, it's only here that do feel there are truly others in the same chaotic boat.

I've noiced the distinct lack of alpha mummys on here hehehe

Know what you mean about the photos, Dh has had a full gf card for 2 months only unloaded it last night, so well have hours old pics then a jump to a huge 13 week old and that's only because were a bit sick of being asked for pics off relatives

[CarGirl]

In some ways I think having an a larger family is easier. I think my dc vie for my attention far less than when there were just 2 competing directly for attention. They have always had to do more sharing and less receiving and tbh life is more pleasant because of that.

[bronze]

Im the same down to trying to treasure this little ones ...everything

I have guilt thrown in by the ucket load too as when ds2 was 20 monthish I spent a month in hospital then several months going back and forward to hospital. I really struggled when dd reached that age knowing I had missed it with ds2

I have noticed that though I was never pfb with my first I'm really slack. Theres a thread abou bunkbeds at the moment and I realised that dd has clambered all over ours since she could walk and I never even thought about stopping her let alone worrying she would fall.

[Lulumama]

sorky, i missed that you had had DC4, how marvellous.. congratulations, a little belatedly, but still heartfelt xxx

[bronze]

Talking o pictures we only have one of dc4 at hospital as dh forgot the memory card. I just laughed at him and tease him about it. Imagine if he had done that with my first

[bronze]

"I don't know why but I found my self reading through some of the, frankly ridiculous, posts on the G&T and it got me musing."

I'm a g&t poster still though and its for dc1 but hes not brilliant because hes my first, hes just annoyingly brilliant

[sorky]

Thank you Lulumama

It all went swimmingly well (no pun intended) she's 13 weeks now & I haven't swapped her or lost her once yet, so I think I'm doing rather well!

[Lulumama]

home water birth then?

[sorky]

yes, again.
I really ought to think of different ways to get my babies out

Never got around to doing a birth-story, wonder why?

[Cadmum]

All true here as well.

Ds1 was pfb and despite my asking about Dd2 being the pfinalb on another thread, she is mostly dragged through life...

I think that she benefits immensely from having so many 'parents' and I adore the relationship between Ds1 (now 12) and Dd2 (now 3). I could get all misty-eyed thinking about how Dd2 can even convince Ds1 to let her jump in the bath with him when he would normally prefer to have the bathroom on full 'lock-down'. He will be a fabulous hands on dad.

sorky I had a quick peek at your profile and dh asked if you were actually me... I thought it was based on the he and the blw or perhaps the co-sleeping or baby wearing. It was actually just the gorgeous husband part! Lucky dogs, us!

[babyblue3]

Hi ladies... been following your thread, and have finally had the chance to post. I am pg with DC4 and feel somewhat relieved to see I am not alone in the madness. My first 2 DCs are 16 months apart, and I can honestly say their babyhoods are a blur! DD2 came along 8 years later and I find myself cherishing every moment. I try not to feel guilty when I get DD1 (11yrs) to help with diapering and feeding DD2... although it has been immensely helpful now that I am 32weeks along and big as a house!! DS1 is also quite good at entertaining DD2 and takes her so I can rest. I don't want to burden my kids with parenting their younger siblings, but at the same time, this is how it has always been done in past generations. Why do we feel so guilty doing it now??? Sorry... bit of a ramble...