Younger child wants to boss everyone else about

[lljkk]

DD has a friend visiting today, DS2 will insist on trying to play with dd and her friend. DS is almost 5, he also rages (and I do mean RAGES) whenever his siblings run faster than him or get something he'd like but can't have or just do things which aren't what HE wants. I tell him all the time he's not the boss of other people, but he doesn't want to hear it.

Argh. If I wasn't so busy with life and other dc I could play with ds and keep him out of everyone's hair. DS sees himself as peer group to older siblings even though he obviously isn't.

He's a sweet lad, really, but he can throw a wobbly over anything!!

Does this sound familiar, any strategies?

[juuule]

Sounds familiar.
I stop the child playing with the others if s/he is spoiling their games.
I will ask the older ones if there is anything that the younger one can join in with but sometimes they just want to do their own things.

[lljkk]

What does your child do when you make him stop playing with the others, Juule? Mine tantrums for a long time, throwing stuff, screaming, etc.

[juuule]

Mine have done similar but I've moved them out of the way, gone to another room. Then dealt with it how I would deal with any other tantrum. Screaming, let him scream. throwing stuff, put him somewhere that he can't damage much and let him know that you have no time for him while he's behaving like this.
Once the storm has passed reassure him that you can all be friends but not if he behaves badly. Ask him if he wants to help you with something that you are doing. If he's broken anything discuss it. Say how sad it is that it's broken and what can be done to put it right.
That sort of thing.

[struwellpeter]

I feel for you.

My ds3 still has spectacular tantrums and can be a complete pain when one of the older ones has a friend to play. He has tantrums when things don't go his way generally but he is improving. I think he has always identified with the top spot and it is only now that his language and understanding are improving and he is able to lead his own life more that he is less frustrated.

[lljkk]

Thanks Struwellpeter.