Can you tell me about your age gaps and genders please!

[strawberrycornetto]

I have a dd who is 4 and a half and a ds who is 13 months. I loved DD so much I wasn't sure I could have a 2nd. Now I completely adore them both and am desperate to have a third. DH says no but I think I might be able to persuade him.

Anyway, I am a bit worried about how it would work. If I had another DD, would DS be stuck in the middle and left out? If another DS, am even more worried that DD would end up lonely cause there would be such a big age gap and she'd be the only girl.

Can anyone tell me what its like with three? Will they all play together. COuld the younger ones share a room? Is three a bad number? I know there's no way I'd have 4 (unless it was twins ) due to age/complications etc.

Any stories would be really appreciated.

[Sorrento]

Hmm I wouldn't have three but would have 4 so I'm a bit strange
I have three DD's each 22 months apart and they play in 2, the eldest two play nicely, the youngest two place nicely very rarely they all play nicely together.
However my ex was one of three and the boys played and just left their sister to her friends/mum so she was like an only child really, quite close to her brother now but not when they were younger. Now the ex (the eldest boy) is left out really.
I think three is a disaster if I'm honest.

[strawberrycornetto]

Interesting Sorrento. I'm one of two and so is DH but I know quite a few people who come from larger families and are very close to their siblings. Some are one of three and some one of hour.Anyone else?

[mumtoo3]

i am the eldest of 5, and we all are really close, we all talk daily even living 200 miles apart

[strawberrycornetto]

Does anyone have 3 children that aren't the same gender? Does the "odd one out" get left out or are they all close?

[Diege]

I have 3 dds (7, 6 and 3) and am 29 weeks pregnant with no.4 (a boy ). Our reasoning was that we wanted to 'even things up' a little, as older dds very close, and we were worried no. 3 might feel a bit pushed to sidelines. Doesn't seem to be working out like that though, as she mucks in and ignores the things the older ones do to her (like put her in dolls pram/play spies/hide from her) and loves the 'big gals' as she calls them. So now of course with the whole boy thing am thinking he will feel left out...arghhh!! Def not having a 5th though
So yes, in answer to your question no.3 doesn't actually get left out at all - just a slightly different dynamic and a few tantrums when she can't do what they do - but all good stuff for getting on with different types of people!

[psychomum5]

I have 5, so am not going to have the answers you are after I'm afraid.

however.....

I have three girls, two boys (in that order), age gaps are 22mths, 34mths, 17mths and 26mths.

my closest two are my eldest two....they really are like twins in how close they are.

DD3 and DS1 are close, altho the boy/girl devide is raising its head now they are getting closer to puberty and DS2 is more active with regards to wanting to play footy etc with DS1.

room-wise........I don;t think you need worry TBH. the only time you will need to worry about boys and girls sharing is when they are in their teens, so should you have a girl you can quite easily put her in with your DS to start with if you feel the gap too big between DD and possible new DD. plus, you never know what they future may bring anyway........you might indeed have twins, or you might find yu can move somewhere bigger or even extend your house to 4 beds.

stop fretting about how things will work out. they normally have a way of scuppering things anyway if you plan to heavily!

[psychomum5]

.....divide....

[squatchette]

I also have 3 dds they are 6 and 5 next month (gap of 16 months ) then there's dd3 who is 7 months .The elder 2 play together alot but of course do bicker. They are very different the elder more out going and bossy the younger one shy and sensitive so that's more evident than the age gap. Most people do think I have twins.
It's too soon to say how their relationship with the baby will pan out but I do worry she'll be like an only child with such a large gap and them at school all day until she goes in 4 yrs or so.
If space and money didn't matter I think 4 would be my magic number.Oh and i'd need a new man of course having just split with my girls Dad.

[Ready4anotherMiniEgg]

I have a ds, then 2 dds, age gaps of 21mths, then 25 mths.

The eldest 2 do play together a lot, but of course they also bicker a lot, when they are tired. dd2 is beginning to join in their game, but she's ony 13 mths, and so will be more able to once she's a bit bigger. I have noticed that whilst they bicker amongst themselves, they already form a unite front to outsiders

I do feel 3 is an odd number though

[kentmumtj]

i decided to have 4 as i didnt want to have an odd number i thought i was strange but now realise i wasnt lol

mine are
dd 17
dd 15
dd 11
ds 9

gap between dd1 and dd2 is 21 months i had dd3 when dd2 started school gap between dd3 and ds 4 is 2 years 2 months.

think mine are just as they should be argue at times, ignore each other at times and also love and stick up for each other.

Oh must add they all think ds is fav as he is only boy and baby. I disagree as i love them all equally and could not have helped whter they were male or female but am incredibly glad to be blessed with a son.

[strawberrycornetto]

Thanks everyone, its all really interesting to think about the dynamics of other people's families.

I think the message I am getting is siblings play togehter and fight whatever the age gap and whether they are boys and girls. My gut feeling is that another child could only really enhance our lives and the practical things will work out as they will.

Psychomum - lol at your comment about me planning. I am the woman who starts every saturday morning with the words "so, what's the plan?!!" I guess sometimes you just have to let go and go with the flow!!

[Phoenix4725]

~I got ds 15
ds 12
dd6
dsalmost 4
and touch wood they all get on well and bigger 2 help with littler 2 and in turn little 2 idolise the bigger 2 .

[kittywise]

I got
ds 10
ds 9
dd 7
dd 5
dd 3
ds 2

[kittywise]

btw, the gap between the first 2 and last 2 is 14 months

Small gaps are much better in my opinion. The other gaps I have are between 2o months and 2 years. They all play together , regardless of gender. they also all fight like cat and dog

[3boys4girls]

I've got DS1 15, DS2 14, DD1 12,DD2 9,DD3 8, DS3 5, DD4 4 weeks. I've found the relationships changed with their ages, my first two boys were so close I was worried that having a girl next would mean she would be left out but she wasnt, they were all so close in age that gender wasnt an issue and she and her brothers remained close even after we had our next two daughters, I think that was due to the 3 and a half yr age gap between 1st DD and 2nd DD and the fact that dd2 and dd3 were so close in age and even though baby number 6 was a boy he was close to DD2 and DD3, I think again because they were so close in age the genders didnt matter, so for a while our family of 6 was split into the elder 3 and the younger 3, but as our 9 yr old DD2 has matured quite fast (she 9 going on 29!) shes become closer to DD1 and DS2 which has meant DD3 and DS3 have now become inseperable and although everyone gets on with DS1 he has kinda drifted away to be a bit of loner, typical teen boy hiding away in his room chatting to his GF on MSN! I'm wondering now how DD4 will fit into the family as she has no siblings close to her age...perhaps we'll have to start planning Dchild number 8 so DD4 has a playmate of her own LOL

personally I think close age gaps work best.