Second family of older man - I'd love a third (his fifth)child - advice please!

[fulltimeworkingmum]

We have two toddlers age 3 and 1. My husband has two grown up children who are both married and have their own homes. I am in the military and work full time (there is no part time option if I want to continue in this employment) while my husband runs his own business and can be at home if needed although our children go to nursery part time. I am desperate for a third child and have mentioned this to my husband a few times and whilst he has never said a definite" NO" he just laughs and says he's too old (52)
I realise I sound greedy trying to have it all - a full time career and a family but I so love being pregnant,being a mum and being with my children that I am desperately in need of impartial advice about this
Thanks very much

[Haribosmummy]

I can really empathise with you.

My DH has two older kids (teenagers) and we have a 9 month old and a 5 month old 'bump' (due to morph into a baby in August).

I think two will be enough for me, but I know four is enough for DH and we won't be having any more. In fact, DH was actually really pleased that bump arrived sooner than planned as he's coming up 45 and didn't want to be an older dad, IYSWIM..

I knew, after I had DS, I wanted more kids and I'm not sure how I will feel after this one arrives, but (for us) 4 will be the limit.

YANBU at all, but it does need to be mutual decision. At 52, he may well feel too old for more kids and I think you do have to respect that...

HTH

[fulltimeworkingmum]

Thanks HTH,
It's good to know you're in the same kind of situation. When I was in pregnancy number 2, I definitely thought that 2 was my limit but I had no way of knowing just how broody I would get in my mid-thirties or how besotted I would be with my babies.
Thanks so much for your advice and good luck with your new baby

[Haribosmummy]

Oh, I'm sure I'll feel the same!! I was sure, with DS, that ONE would be enough but I'm overjoyed with the prospect of No. 2.

But, I know DH doesn't want anymore. ANd, (it's slighly different for us because he's the main breadwinner - I don't work ATM) he'd be working till he was 70!!

How old are you now? I'm 37 now, so I suppose I think I'm lucky enough to have two!!! (I KNOW I'll want another one this time next year though!!!! )

[fulltimeworkingmum]

I'll be 35 this October.
I'm floored by how broody I am. My sister had her second 3 months ago and my brother's wife is due their first this summer. I got pregnant first cycle with both my two so I don't think I'd have much problem a third time but I don't want to wait much longer as the risk of fetal abnormalities rises as we get older.
Perhaps it's time we sat down and discussed the matter properly!
Thanks so much for your help, HTH

[Haribosmummy]

Hope the conversation goes well!!!