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Cars and holidays and 4 kids ... Also can I cope with 4???

13 replies

alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 13:11

I have 2 of my grandchildren living with me on a residence order. There is another one in care 1 year old which is going through the courts and she will be joining us shortly. Just learned that baby 4 will be born in October and we obviously would like him/her to grow up with her siblings.

Ive been going through it all in my head and if DH drops down to working 4 days we could just about cope. If Im not coping he would drop down to 3 days working for a short time.

Whilst considering the practicalities we realised we couldnt fit 4 kids and both of us in our car Citroen Xsara Picasso. As we only bought it this year and we're still paying for it, another isnt really on the cards, unless we take a huge loss. The car is a 5 seater. I had hoped you could make adaptations to fit a 6th seat for a child behind the back seats (I know some estate cars can have this), but I havent found anything.

Has anyone faced this car too small for 6 dilemma? It would actually be cheaper to buy an older model fiesta or metro as a second run about for DH, (something cheap to run and insure) than to sell our car, take a loss and also an early repayment penalty on the loan which we are paying for it with.

I am conscious of the new regulations regarding what you can and cant do with car seats and have read up on them. Cant help thinking back to when I was a kid and 7 of us went away in an austin cambridge!!!

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Kayran · 06/07/2008 13:37

Have no real advice reference car but just wanted to say how lucky your grandchildren are. I am the foster mother to two little ones (1year and 2 1/2 year). Their new sibling will be born in September. Their grandmother who sees them once every two weeks has stated that she cannot 'cope' with the effort of a baby (grandma is 42 by the way) and so please not to involve her in any conversation. So you thinking about cars and runarounds for DH just melts my heart as it is so lovely. Would social services help you out as you will be saving them a small fortune in care payments for the baby? Just a general 'we would love to help but transport is a real issue' query might get you some support? Anyway God Bless you and yours.

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alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 13:45

We would get a residence order allowance but they dont do one offs like buying you a car!!! We actually have to go to court to convince SS we can cope with 4 so setting up obstacles isnt a good thing.

The grandmother is 42! Im 49 this year DH will be 50. But if she cant cope it is best she knows it. The children deserve better than a non coper!!!

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juuule · 06/07/2008 14:27

Could you hire a car for the holiday?
Would it be possible to go by train?
Would anyone be willing to lend you their car for a week?
I think if it's possible for you, I'd definitely a good idea to go for the cheap runabout.

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geordieminx · 06/07/2008 14:31

Is trade in not an option?

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Kayran · 06/07/2008 15:46

Hmm had not thought through the setting up obstacles. Although I am in a similar position in that I have got my little girl (who is four) then the two litle ones and the social services are begging me to take the baby. My husband is in the army and i am a single mum most of the time and they have just given me loads of praise and said that they think it would be wonderful for the three siblings to be to together and that they have no doubt it would be hard work but completly doable etc. So just goes to show how different people think differently I guess.

Yes I know it is better than grandma so she cannot cope but it is upsetting. She is just a bit strange - always on about 'my' babies etc but really does not do anything for them. Still it is my role and I love them so no hardship for me.

We have a VW Touran and the 6/7th seats are in the boot. Whilst I can put the seats up for the fourth abbyseat I have no idea where the buggy, bags etc will go. We are still thinking it all through and it is a definite consideration.

Anyway if you are having the fourth child I think the least they could do is give you a car.... But they won't

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alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 18:13

www.luxury7.co.uk/

This looks promising! Anyone had it done?

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alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 18:15

Also there is room for the buggy when folded on the floor near the kids feet.

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Shoshe · 06/07/2008 18:27

As a CM with 7 kids, I have one of these.

brilliant, I can get a double and single buggy in the boot, 3 full car seats accross the back, 3 backed boosters in the middle, and everything but the kitchen sink under the seats

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alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 20:48

I know there are lots of larger vehicles out there, but I dont actually want to part with the one I bought in January this year. I am hoping for a solution that doesnt involve making a huge loss on this car and early repayment penalty on the bank loan.

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catweazle · 06/07/2008 21:09

We have a similar problem in that we got rid of our Sedona when DD1 moved out only to have another baby and DS1 come home again. There are 6 of us living here again and eac of our cars is a 5 seater.

You can convert bootspace into seats but TBH I wouldn't. That part of the car is the crumple zone and if you were to have a collision the child in the back would not be adequately protected. One thing when you are so poor or 7 seaters so unavailable that you have no option; a different matter for convenience.

Kayran, can't believe that grandmother. I was 43 when I had DD2

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alysonpeaches · 06/07/2008 21:41

www.multimac.co.uk/index.html

Im hoping to get one of these.

FOR EVERY PROBLEM THERE IS A SOLUTION!!!

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Kayran · 06/07/2008 21:43

Catweazle yes grandma is strange. I am 40 and when she talks to me she always says things like 'well you have so much more energy at your age! I just am not sure how it will work if we have the baby as when I drop off the two older ones if I have the baby in the car will she just ignore her/him - which is what happens with my little girl. Fortunately, my little darling takes after me and as the famous dirty dancing quote says 'noone puts baby in the corner and ignores her'!!! Also I owuld have four four and under

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juuule · 06/07/2008 21:51

Up until last year we had 2 x 5-seater cars. If we went anywhere we had to take them both. Still had a problem if the whole family (me, dh and 9 children) were going somewhere.

We now have to manage with a 5-seater. On a recent trip to my sister's we had to make 2 trips to get me, dh, 5yo,8yo,10yo,11yo,13yo,15yo,17yo and 21yo to dad's party.

Most of the time we are fine as I usually only take 4 with me anywhere. It does restrict the places we can all go together by car.
Holidays? Well we haven't really been going anywhere recently but the last time dh took the younger ones for a week away in a borrowed car.
If we went anywhere for a holiday now I think we would either do 2 trips to a location or see whether a member of the family would lend us a car for a week.

I also had my last baby at 43y9m
Kayran, it sounds as though the children are better off with you if the grandmother couldn't cope.

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