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aibu to not want another child when bf does?

4 replies

irgmama · 02/06/2014 23:34

we have a 3 year old daughter and basically since she was born he has wanted another and i do not. he says its unfair that i get to decide that he wont have another child but i say vice versa is it not unfair that he can decide for me to carry and give birth to a child i do not want???

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meditrina · 03/06/2014 15:48

Is it that you do not want another child at all, or that you don't want one right now?

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irgmama · 03/06/2014 15:54

never say never but no i dont want anymore at all

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crazyhead · 04/06/2014 09:40

What did you agree with your partner before you had kids? Did you not discuss it/were neither of you clear on what you wanted beforehand?

Ultimately I do agree with you - no-one can force a woman to have another child, and even if it was the other way round and your partner didn't want another child and you did, I think the power of veto is of greater weight - it isn't right to plough ahead and have a child explicitly unwanted by the other partner.

However - as someone who felt very strongly about their child having a sibling (I have two sons) I do understand how difficult this could be for your partner, especially if beforehand you had both said you'd have more than one. I think it is something that can take an awful lot of working through as a couple. Good luck, I sympathise with both of you here

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irgmama · 04/06/2014 14:58

before we had lg i thought iwanted ore than 1 but there was no actual talk about it as i was only 17 when we had lg

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