Bug families close in age. How is it?

[littleraysofsunshine]

We have 3.5yo, 2yo (this week) and 17 week old. We definitely want more, just wondered how you manage a good balance with say 4+ kids close in age?

I was thinking to have a bigger gap but then we don't want three close, then one a big gap as it wouldn't be fair?

Were only just 25 and 29 too so plenty of time to think but I love being a mum so much. Just in sure of our next age gap.

What stage have you found more difficult as a whole? So far I've found my 2 yo harder as she's competing against an older and younger sibling now.. It's fab 99% of the time but the tiredness and moments of tantrums can be tough.

It would be nice to be pregnant when they're all in preschool. (Not just dd1) as I could then nap when pregnant and when bBy is here.. But then that makes dd1 7 with a next baby...

[weatherall]

7 year gap is fine.

Don't rush too much.

[voodoochimp]

Not great (speaking as eldest of 4 born within 5 years).

[thereisnoeleventeen]

I'm not sure if it's counted as that close a gap really but the age gap between DC1 and DC4 will be just under 7 years. TBH if I had been younger (and not so tired) the gap would have been smaller.

I am seeing more pro's to it being that way currently. DC1 and 2 are old enough to do helpful bits round the house and they all like the same sort of stuff so if we do a family outing. I'll only have one school to deal with for the next few years, so that's only 1 set of calendar events for sports days/inset days/plays to remember.

Going out and about can be a challenge, getting then into various seats etc is a bit time consuming but that is to be expected. My hardest issue currently is having an uneven number, they seem to like to pair up which leads to problems. If one is out with a friend or is asleep then they do seem to play better. It will be interesting to see how things are when DC4 has arrived and is big enough to join in. I always find the first 6 months tough, the lack of sleep in the night followed by being woken early by toddlers.

Physically its hard work, but if you have the energy and love it then thats half the battle.

[thereisnoeleventeen]

...also, about school/pre-school. This is my first pregnancy with any of them being in actual school. I thought it would be a breeze by comparison but actually with school comes a lot of to-ing and fro-ing and being here and there at specific times with various items. So while I have had down time I feel like I've been busier, I've also been present in school assembly and missed the entire thing because I was on the verge of nodding off!

[Theas18]

Just remember they all need a bit of one to one adult time and that need gets bigger as they get older. Seeing them as a "team" and treating them all the same because they are close in age will lead to problems as they get to be teens.

IMHO teens need more time that small kids.....allow yourself that space.

[accessorizequeen]

It's hard! I had 4 under 5, 5 years later we are reaping the benefits as they play together a lot and we can find days out that suit everyone pretty easily. But my eldest has Aspergers and even without that its very difficult to give them all the attention they need as they get older. Just trying to manage the homework alone is a struggle some weeks. I work, albeit half time, but even that makes it harder to keep up with laundry, shopping, housework etc. Having a bigger gap may mean the older kids are more independent with some things so you can find time for them all. I find it more stressful now than I did when the dts were babies and ds2 was 2. Older dc need more emotional support, and once they start school they need academic support.

[sweetkitty]

We has 4 in 5 years 10 months. No family help at all just DP and I.

Hard at times when DD1 was at school, DD2 nursery, DD3 under 2 and newborn DS. They are 9, 8, 5 and 4 now and life is a bit easier. Love having them close together

[MultipleMama]

The gap between my eldest and youngest is roughly 5 years. When we have more the gap between the eldest will always get bigger you can't change that.

Ds1 plays with the youngest twins all the time, he's really not bothered by the age gap he just loves being a big brother to his sibling.

The hardest time for us was probably when A-twins were born as they were premature and I had D-twins at home to look after (13mo at the time). Now things are settling into a routine and I find 6 not much harder than 4, it's just the norm for us now. However #7 is on hold for now due to A-twin having high/special needs.

[harrygracejessica]

We had 5 in 4 year and 1 month ( 2 sets if twins). The worst part for me was when the youngest two were babies and the eldest had started school and I HAD to get out on time and try and feed them both around it when they had reflux too so screamed and threw up lots!! The youngest set are 3 now and I found life got easier when they were eating finger food so if they got hungry I could take them a snack x

[Itsjustmeagain]

We had 5 in 7 years and it has been great to be honest (at least so far). I would love more in the future but think my body needs a little rest!. I am 30 now and we have agreed to perhaps one more in a few years IF it fits with the other children.

Easiest thing - routines were already in place new baby slotted in easily and the house was already set up for them!

Hardest thing - other people did and still do judge.

[princesscupcakemummyb]

i have 3 all under 5 youngest being nearly 7 months so not a large family but we would like more children im 27 now my oldest is actually 5 in a few months so i have 4 nearly 5 a 2 and a half year old and nearly 7 month old it gets busy but i love it we hope to have 2 children we are ttc so hopefully soon the age gap to us we dont mind

[PositiveAttitude]

We had 5DC with less than 6 years between them. (4xDD 1xDS) For 3 months I had 3 under the age of 3. I loved it. It was exhausting, but brilliant. I liked the fact that as they grew up we could do things that all the family loved doing together, days out for example, were fine cos they all enjoyed doing the same things without having a stroppy teen being dragged around under protest, or a tantruming toddler being bored!

For me the worst time has definitely been the teenage years! 4 teenage girls all at the same time was hell at times. Hormone central!! That would have tested the patience of a saint - and I aint no saint!!

They are now age 22, 21, 20, 18 and 17 and we are coming out the other side of the hell years teenage years. And I am quite enjoying life again.

[kronenborg]

at one time we had 4 children of 3 years and under (the youngest being twins) - 2 girls a year apart, then twin boys.

when the twins were born, we were living overseas, and had no family support. we had a maternity nurse live with us for the first month, then pretty much nothing.

it has been HARD work, but i wouldn't change it for the world (which as just as well, eh?).

the kids are now 6, 5, 3 and 3, with the oldest just about to have her 7th birthday. they are all thriving, happy children, with excellent relations with their siblings - when they are together, they are a totally self-sufficient "gang", but they also love to have their own friends and interests. this can sometimes be a challenge, as its only possible to be in so many places at one time.

for the last 6 months we have had a live in au pair, who has made our quality of life immeasurably better. not only does is give us adults more time to spend doing adult things (!), but it also give us more flexibility to do different things with different children.

when the twins start full time school next year, its going to be VERY strange having the house empty during the weekdays at term time!

we love having the kids so close in age, and they seem to love it too - although it did mean >6 years of continuous nappy changing!