`To have another or not` conversation happening this w/end - help!

[MamaVikki]

Hi
Hope someone can give some advice as I'm feeling very confused! We have 3 children and I've always wanted 4. DH is on the fence. I would LOVE another. We've had a few chats but have decided to have a proper conversation about it this w/end. I have ‘solutions' for everything (ie space issues etc) except one thing: We have both been working really hard, we are both self-employed, and as its difficult for us to take time off during the year so we have been aiming and saving for a big family holiday at Christmas time to somewhere hot preferably. If we were to try for another and I did get pregnant soonish then this would be out of the question which would be disappointing but so would not having another! We aren't at all materialistic but have been working towards this. My DH was made redundant last year and I'm so proud of him for setting up his business and he deserves a break. I also don't have time on my side due to my age (early 40‘s yikes!) so it really is now or never.
What do you think?? I've over thought things so much that I now can't think clearly, help!!!
Vikki x

[AngelsInWinter]

Hey,

Oh this is a tough one!! Why would the holiday be out of the question? If you got pregnant this month you'd be due in February right?

Why have you always wanted 4? Genuine question. I'm now considering my fourth, well in fact we've started to ttc ( as of yesterday!) but I feel so strange about it. I feel weird/crazy/silly/irresponsible for some reason? Like its too many DC? Although that might be because I'm only 24, so I know for a fact that people will judge!

[MamaVikki]

P.s. I hope this doesn't read too flippant - I dont mean baby or holiday. Ive had 4 miscarriages with the last being pretty awful so this is a big consideration too. Anyway, had re-read my post and hope it didn't come over as a silly dilemma over a holiday. Its the planning of everything I guess that I could do with some help with!
Vikki x

[Flywheel]

I think the holiday should still be on the cards, particularly if you are 6 months or less. It could be a really nice time to have fun with the older kids before the baby arrives

[MamaVikki]

Thanks for your replies. Is there a cut off point for flying when pregnant? That's assuming I was to get pregnant straight away anyway!
AngelsInWinter: how exciting! I hope it happens soon for you. I want to gift my children with siblings, nephews, nieces, uncles, aunts, cousins....all the things I never had. I know you can't guarantee a close family but at the moment they are all close and I wish a close bond & lots of fun for my children when they are adults. Thats why I always wanted more than 2!

[MamaVikki]

Thanks for your replies. Is there a cut off point for flying when pregnant? That's assuming I was to get pregnant straight away anyway!
AngelsInWinter: how exciting! I hope it happens soon for you. I want to gift my children with siblings, nephews, nieces, uncles, aunts, cousins....all the things I never had. I know you can't guarantee a close family but at the moment they are all close and I wish a close bond & lots of fun for my children when they are adults. Thats why I always wanted more than 2!

[Mothersruin75]

The holiday should be fine - last year I went at 27 weeks pregnant with twins. I could have travelled until 32 weeks as multiple pregnancy but it was 36 weeks with a singleton. The flights were fine, I just made sure I got an aisle seat, drank lots of water and walked around a lot. The lots of water sorted that out with plenty of loo trips ;-). I was nervous but it was brilliant being away from home and being able to relax without the day to day stuff. I definitely felt rested. We went to Disney Paris by Eurostar at 33 weeks, that was slightly more manic but still ok.

I also had the babies in the middle of the heat wave last year and found the heat manageable if that is worrying you - just lots of loose maternity clothes and very very comfy shoes.

Am loving all your enthusiasm on having a 4th you're rubbing off on me and I'm starting to feel that it will be ok - I'm very nervously and completely unexpectedly pregnant with DC4.

[AngelsInWinter]

Wow, mothers ruin! Congrats!

Must be strange going from 1-4 quite quickly?

I'm just trying to figure out how we'd fit 3 girls in one bedroom...