running the house after an op

(14 Posts)
NAR4 Thu 04-Jul-13 09:47:00

Just a light hearted moan really. I have 3 teenage ds a 2yr old dd and a 4 month old ds. Can't lift anything including baby for at least 6 wks, or bend down/crotch without pain. Only had op on Monday and already going completely bonkers. House is a terrible mess, wash pile is ridiculous, dcs have been living off fish fingers, chips and pizza. Dh thinks this is all fine. Think he is going on the assumption that it can all be left until I am able to do it all again. Arggggg. He is doing his best, but it doesn't really extend past childcare.

Needed a moan so as not to criticise him when he is trying his best.

Theselittlelightsofmine Thu 04-Jul-13 09:53:17

Ask the teens to do a job each, one can Hoover, one can wash up and the other can put on a wash or something like that anyway

NAR4 Thu 04-Jul-13 12:52:09

Got them to do that last night and dh spent the whole time telling them to leave it and that he would do it. I convinced them it was best to listen to me.

Oldest put on the whites for a wash before he went to school (they leave at 6.50am) and dh still hasn't hung them on the line yet. Despite not taking the younger dcs to any of their usual activities, he is going to 'do it in a minute'. confused In his defence, he didn't say which minute.

I'm scared we could end up divorced before he goes back to work next week.

NAR4 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:47:47

Think the only way to manage the little dcs, when dh goes back to work on Monday,is to employ a mothers help. So far haven't been able to find someone. Any ideas?

NAR4 Sat 06-Jul-13 20:01:05

How much do you think is a fair rate of pay for a mothers help? I would be supervising the children but need someone to pick up baby when he cries, pass him to me for feeds and help with housework a bit ie carry the wash basket for me.

Yonilovesboni Sat 06-Jul-13 20:03:11

What area are you in NAR? I wish I could help you, sounds like hellhmm.

NAR4 Sat 06-Jul-13 20:09:19

I live on the Dorset/Hampshire boarder. Think it will be fine if I employ someone during school hrs to help with anything that requires lifting. Having never employed any help before though, I have no idea what is considered a reasonable rate. Don't know if minimum wage applies because they are'not in sole charge. They won't have to be doing a lot, but it will be invaluable help.

Yonilovesboni Sat 06-Jul-13 20:18:01

Do you have any mum friends from school who could basically come and help and drink tea with you all day? If I knew a mum from school neede this help then I wouldn't hesitate and wouldn't expect payment. Except tea and cake!! I'm in Derbyshire would have loved to have helped xsmile

NAR4 Sun 07-Jul-13 09:01:10

My older dcs are at secondary school so I have never met those parents and my youngest 2 aren't old enough for pre-school yet, so no school mum friends. Only know mums from toddler group who all have their own little ones and feel unable to help. You sound very kind and I wish you lived near me.

KrazyKurls Sun 07-Jul-13 09:52:41

I had an op 7 weeks ago with 3 but mines are younger 5, 2 and 10 months. DH works 14 hour days so I had to get some help. My aunt came for a week and she was a god send! I was back in my feet doing all the stuff I shouldn't within 2 weeks.

Hope you recover soon

NAR4 Sun 07-Jul-13 13:38:37

Thanks Krazy

sadsong Mon 08-Jul-13 10:32:09

Nar4 I'm about to go and have another bowel op in a few wks. I've had 2 already this yr. first was ok, 2nd was in bed for 3 wks. I have 3 teenagers in the house, one of 10 and 2 little ones. I have planned ahead this time as last time it didn't work well.

Have you got a lovely friend sister or mum or someone who could stock your freezer with healthier quick things? Like bolognaise, lasagne, fish pie, chicken portions with a easy sause in cupboard. My dh also thinks sausage and chips is fine every night confused my mum freezes it in portions and then it just cooks from frozen or get it out In the morning? If my freezer is stocked even dh can cope wink

If you can afford it get a cleaner adhoc, even just to Tide you over. This clearly doesn't help with washing as they never know who's us who's but at least when you have a relaxing bath/shower you don't have to start staring at the filth!

Do shopping online, so you can choose it. Make sure plenty of fruit, that way if meals are a but off, there's plenty of vits getting into them!

Finally get yourself some metatone or floradix or anything at all that will build you up again fast !

Get well soon! grin

Yonilovesboni Mon 08-Jul-13 11:42:41

Hope your ok NAR? I have two toddlers. I would have brought them!grin I really hope there is a friendly person nearby who can help you out. Xxx

NAR4 Mon 08-Jul-13 22:22:33

Only my mil lives anywhere near me and although great moral support she will never give any practical help. Tells me she has already raised her family and it is up to me to raise mine. [Hmm]

Have got a uni student as a mothers help for two wks and am then going to be reliant on my teenagers for help. Can't afford the student for more than a couple of wks, so my older children are going to have to help a lot once the school hols start.

The pain has now eased off and it kind of stings like a Chinese burn now. Sorry prop tmi. Not really painfully much, more very uncomfortable. At this rate I think I will be over most of the discomfort by the beginning of school hols anyway.

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