I am one of three and always imagined having more than two children, if I was lucky enough.
I now have two gorgeous children, DS (4.5yrs) and DD (2.5yrs). I have been in a new job nearly a year working part-time and I love it. Everything is ticking along nicely at the moment.
But I still have a niggle to go for no.3....
DH is happy to go along with it, but not desperate. He says he feels our family is complete, though he is sure he'd love another child etc. But if I wasn't pushing for it, I don't think he would be. Although he did say he'd feel disappointed if we didn't go for it. Still, when we talk about it we tend to get drawn towards the negative elements rather than the exciting parts.
I am just so worried about the unknowns: firstly, what if there are problems with my pregnancy, with the health of the baby etc. Also the financial implications long-term of having another child, and the hassle factor and being outnumbered etc. Also I am really worried about having twins as my mum is a twin as is DH - I think that would be such a difficult situation and I worry that I would be drawn away from giving DS and DD the attention that I love to give them.
Then there is the negativity around me. I get a lot of childcare help from my mum and MIL, both of whom have made it clear they don't think we should have any more children! I'm sure they would be supportive, but I feel like I'm asking for more work and trouble and I feel a bit greedy as I already have two amazing and healthy kids.
I do worry about my career and how I will manage to keep it afloat with more than two kids. I have taken on responsibilities at work, and it would be stressful to let those go and inconvenience my colleagues.
But still....I do long for one more pregnancy, just to savour it. I loved being on maternity leave and being around for my kids and those special nurturing experiences like breastfeeding etc. My two kids now are such a duo and I think they'd love another baby to join their club...
I feel so confused. I'm very broody but so worried about all these things and I feel isolated in wanting this. I know it will be the harder option, but I loved being part of a larger family and I want my kids to have that as they grow older too.
Ahhh, any reassurances or advice?? I've just come off the pill, with the plan to start ttc next month...ahhhhhhh
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Thinking of TTC For No.3 and Feeling Anxious
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NKffffffffe749edcfX11d6d7397af · 08/05/2013 09:33
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