6 year gap between Dc4 and Dc 5. will he feel like an only?

(12 Posts)
fromwesttoeast Tue 07-May-13 19:44:12

I have 5 Dc. I am so happy to have been able to have my little Ds, but as there are 6 years between him and the next youngest I do worry that he will end up feeling like an only. My other children have good relationships with each other, which may make him feel he is missing out on something similar.
I would love to have another

fromwesttoeast Tue 07-May-13 19:48:57

Posted too soon
But having another is not really sensible.
I feel torn between following my heart and having another, for him and for us as a family, and being sensible.
Anyone care to share their experience of having a last one after a long gap?

essexgirl31 Tue 07-May-13 19:56:31

My DS is 3 years younger than me and the next one is nearly 14 years younger. We are now 38, 35 and 24. I have equally special and lovely relationships with both. They are a bit different as I had nearly 14 years of childhood without my little sister. Me and middle sister have lots of wonderful shared memories that the little one doesn't. However when she arrived we adored her and built our own brilliant memories and relationships with her. I am equally close to both of them. My 2 sons have really strong relationships with their aunties. Honestly I think it will be fine. We are, we really are and I feel very lucky.

Bowlersarm Tue 07-May-13 20:02:49

I have three siblings all close in age, and then me-8 years younger.

I did feel like an only, and as a consequence made sure all my children didn't have large age gaps. However, I still loved being part of a large family, was definitely spoiled as 'the baby' and until I was a teenager some of my siblings were living at home, and we felt close.

It is what it is; I wouldn't have another baby just to keep DC5 company. They may not even get on.

Branleuse Tue 07-May-13 20:13:00

when youve got that many, you may as well go for another if thats what you want

fromwesttoeast Tue 07-May-13 20:18:30

Hmmm, you both make good points. I would have had DC5 sooner...but there was a redundancy...
Maybe I'm influenced by my other children, they all get on well, and I hadn't really considered the not getting on factor!

fromwesttoeast Tue 07-May-13 20:21:47

Thanks Branleuse. You are right, a sixth would be manageable, and very much wanted. Just not as sensible as sticking at five.

Bowlersarm Tue 07-May-13 20:24:35

They probably would get on, at least as far as having someone to play with goes, although there is no guarantee. But I think you should have Dc6 if you want another child, not for DC5. DC5 will have a busy enough time within the family without having a designated playmate. IMO!

sparklestar Mon 13-May-13 13:57:42

I don't have a large family (3dcs) but I do have a 2.4 gap between ds1 and Dd and they don't really get on and play that nicely. We now have ds2 with a 4.4 gap and had also worried about the gap but we are going to stick with what we have and hope that the older twos relationship develops into more friendship as they get older!

chrome100 Wed 15-May-13 19:42:57

I work with a lady who has a sister 15 years younger than her. (She is 41, her sister mid 20s). They are very close and call each other all the time, go to visit etc. The big age gap certainly hasn't been a problem as adults.

Secondme Sat 18-May-13 09:00:47

One of dc1's friends has a sister who is 6 years older than her. She is going off to Uni this year and dcs friend is not looking forward to being an only child (she would not be, however they suffered the loss of a son). However the two get on really well and like most siblings have ups and downs but I think they might be thinking of fostering.

NAR4 Sun 02-Jun-13 21:57:50

I have 11 years between dc3 and dc4 and was worried they would feel like an only child when the older dcs went to uni. This is what happened to my sil who is 8 years younger than her siblings. Because of this we had dc5, so dc4 wouldn't be left alone when the older ones went.

I do think with 5dcs already, another one will have negligable impact on your finances.

Having said that if you feel your family is complete with 5dcs don't have another one just in case. Your fifth DC might grow up liking the age gap and it is nowhere near as big as mine was anyway.

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