Hi, I'm posting here because, although going from 2 to 3 children isn't exactly what I'd call a 'larger' family, it certainy is a medium-sized family :) and I'm hoping I'll receive useful advice from people on this forum.
I'm 30yo: we have 2 DDs aged 4.1yo and almost 1yo. Both desperately wanted and who took a while to conceive (DD1 naturally after 9 months of TTC; DD2 after six cycles of Clomid and 2y TTC).
Now, DD2 is 1yo next month and DH has told me a couple of times recently that he is broody and would like another DC. I'm hesitating and I'm going to list my reasons (in no particular order):
? I can't ever 'actively' TTC again. I'm scarred after our experience trying for DD2. If I did get pg again, it really would be a case of nature having just taken it's course. (That is, if I was lucky enough to ever conceive again. I don't think making babies is instant with DH and I.)
? I had a long and traumatic labour with DD1. I had an ELCS with DD2. Another baby would likely be another ELCS delivery. Whilst I much preferred my ELCS, I can't deny that it did knock me about for a couple of
weeks. I wasn't 'back to normal' for about 8 weeks and didn't feel completely myself until about 12 weeks after. I think about how I'd manage taking DD1 to school and looking after DD2. I've said this is DH but I dot think he really understands what I'm talking about (prob because
I just got on with it after DD2's birth, and had the luxury of DD1 not being school-age then).
? Age gaps: I love the 3.2yr age gap between our girls. I'd prefer at least a 2yr, preferably 2-and-a-half year
gap ... But then I think of how difficult it was to get pg last time, and I'm back to square one.
? We are lucky to have a baby and a child with good temperaments. However, when they both need me, it's tiring. I wonder how is stretch myself to look after 3 and give them equal and adequate attention (it's basically just me during the day). I'm also concerned how I'd
manage in late pregnancy and early post-partum, not being able to hop, skip, dash and jump after them, IYSWIM.
? Our 2 feel like 'partners' already. How would a third child likely affect this relationship? Would a third child feel left out? What if we had a boy; would he feel on his own with 2 big sisters?
But then, I adore our daughters, loved my pregnancies, love babies and watching them grow. And I keep returning to thinking about how lucky I'd be if I just got pg, you know? Sorry forth long ramble, but any advice
to stop me thinking in circles would be greatly appreciated.
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8 replies
MolotovCocktail · 19/03/2013 11:11
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