Happy 2012 Ladies!<br><br>Am hoping that you can share your experiences, whether you are contemplating having another child or if you have just gone for it and have more than 2 kids.<br><br>Really struggling to make a decision here.<br><br>On the one hand I feel a strong urge to have a 3rd child, and on the other I feel a strong fear of taking on a bit too much and losing myself. Annoyingly, these 2 forces are equally strong. If only something could tip the scales..<br><br>We have 2 kids at the moment: just 4 and just 2 years old and I have been swinging wildly between wanting a 3rd and being extremely scared of this thought. In autumn I thought I was pregnant and got pretty anxious at the thought of having a third, but I think that was partly because it was an ?oops?. So yes, I definitely need DH to be on 100% board. Sorry, I know this goes without saying.<br><br>Well, the jumping in would be easier if DH would be gung-ho, but he is on the fence as well. DH thinks it would be nice to have a 3rd and that it would be sad not to have another baby, and that 2 kids is too cookie cutter for him, but he is leaning towards 2 for convenience reasons? (I know, I know!). Btw, we are financially reasonably stable. I am sure if I would be really committed to having a third he would be as well. <br><br>But although I strongly desire another child in our family, I am not 100% committed or determined to go ahead. I am so scared to lose myself. And I don?t want to lose myself, and neither do I want to be a "full-time" mother? am I crazy to expand my family then? <br><br>My career: Just after I had DC 2 I decided to go freelance so I have spent a lot of time establishing a career that I LOVE and that is making small progress in an extremely competitive field (well, which field isn?t these days..). Anyway, my career is also my baby and I want to keep working at it and I think I need to literally push it a lot this year. So, career-wise I cannot afford to have morning sickness and general pregnancy hormonal mood swings, I have to be on the ball every day and creative and inspired. And I want my freelance business to work! Am not even able to think how a small business can be combined with actually having 3 children, all I know is that I will need/want to go back to work pretty quickly. Working through 3rd baby?s naps in the beginning and then getting a nanny for a few hours per day when baby would be 4 or 5 months old.. How do you then cope with your other 2 kids demands, plus your husbands? Does this mean I shouldn?t have a third? I have already ?simplified? my life and rarely see friends and never go to the gym. I think though the time I make for obsessing over this would be better spent getting on with it all.<br><br>I?m also very scared of getting on with my work while being pregnant. During my previous pregnancies I haven?t been that focused on my work - I hate to admit it. Only now I cannot just bide my time in the office, this is my business and my responsibility. A friend who has 5 children said she never focused much on her pregnancies as she didn?t enjoy being pregnant. But how do you not focus on being pregnant? It has been pretty consuming for me so far. I guess it is just a matter of not letting myself get consumed by it. <br><br><strong>Another friend I talked to has no kids and really hit the nail on the head with her detached viewpoint. She said: "Hey, your life is perfect, what else do you want? It is time for you to be egoistical, focus on yourself, put the energy in yourself, your relationship and your career". This really compounded my fear of losing myself in my kids. For me, her attitude seems soooooo sensible. And I think many, many women have this attitude. Well, all of the Ladies who make the decision to stop at 2. If it were just so simple for me?..</strong><br><br>I think a lot of my fear really comes down to the fact that our life, which is pretty easy right now is going to change and that I might lose myself. Well. All I need is a bit of faith and courage.<br><br>My obvious reasons to wanting a third child are that I love being a Mum and that I can say that am ?good? at it (But I always need to balance that with getting time off, I have to admit!). That I love bigger families, that I think a big family gives the kids confidence that I love to make a nice home for my kids, that I want them to ?have each other? when they have grown up. Etc?<br><br>But have also noticed this strong underlying desire to have a third child, which seems like a compulsion. I sometimes worry because there is a compulsive theme in my life (eating disorder as a teen, destructive habits and obsessive relationships as a twen). I have only become properly balanced in my 30s. I worry a bit that the urge to have a third kid is another of my compulsive streaks. (Please I think I need to clarify now that I am in full control of my mental capacities nowadays, but my failure to be ?sensible? makes me wonder). I am just trying to explain this obsession to have a third child and I can only liken it to other obsessions I have had in my life. Or would others simply call it ?biological clock? etc???? <br><br>Thanks for listening. I am really looking for some guidance on this.