Anybody else stuck in a job they hate whilst TTC?

[Shoegal30]

Just that really. I was made redundant almost 2 years ago and luckily found a job straight away. It wasn't a job I was over the moon about but I was on a decent salary and I viewed it as a stress free short term option as I knew me and DH were going to TTC as soon as I started that job.

Anyway almost 2 years on we have been diagnosed with unexplained fertility and I am stuck in a job which I hate. I keep thinking of sticking it out on the premise that I will be pregnant soon but that day doesn't seem any closer and every day I am getting stressed or depressed going into work.

We had out first consultancy appointment yesterday and if everything goes to plan we will be going for IVF at the end of Sep so I am thinking or just sticking out the job but on the other hand I am thinking i might need more than 1 cycle to get BFP and I don't really want to be stuck at that place next year.

I don't know what to do. Part of me just wants to hand my notice in tomorrow as I have a 3 month notice period with a view of finding another job in that time but then I am also worried that Sod's law I will get pregnant and be jobless

Sorry for the long message but not sure what to do. Has anybody else been in this position?

[UnicornSparkles]

Shoegal, I could have written this exact post! Ended up choosing a career for myself after uni that, after a year, turned out I wasn't really happy with. Stuck it out for a bit more, changed companies thinking it was that making me unhappy and a year later started TTC despite realising it really was the job. After that I never even bothered applying for jobs that came up because we were TTC. Fast forward 3 years, and we have an appointment with the consultant in 2weeks to discuss IVF because nothing else has worked. So now I'm almost 30 and in a career I really hate and don't really see much of a light at the end of the tunnel. I got the courage to go to a job interview last month for a job I really, really wanted and was so nervous I completely fudged it and obviously didn't get it.

I've decided to do lots of stuff in my spare time that I enjoy to counter-act the work sadness. I'm volunteering with St Johns, something I know I'd go back to after having a baby (unlike my job!) and thinking about acting classes or yoga (so similar, I know!) to get my confidence levels up so I can actually DO interviews. I don't have any issues with applying for other jobs anymore - I just need the confidence to see me through interviews etc. The way I see it, this having a baby thing has taken 3 years already. I have little hope for getting pregnant the usual way, so even if we start IVF the cycle after our appointment (I'm guessing that's not how it works), best case scenario, it's still a year until a baby pops out! I can do a lot in a job in a year and so if I see a job I like the look of, I'll apply. If not, I have my hobbies to keep me happy while I'm my crap job, and then I'm changing careers to be a mummy!

[rainbowbreeze123]

Im also in a similar situation, got made redundant part way through TTC and got a job straight away that I dont particularly like but its a job and they have been very good about the whole fertility treatment process - letting me work shorter hours, days off whenever I need them etc

Its hard to switch jobs when TTC as its not your main focus anymore, I just want to go in do my hours and leave without much stress inbetween!

Were on our first IVF cycle at the moment, we have unexplained infertility so who knows how long ill be stuck there for

[Trooperslane]

Oh God yes.

It was worth it because we got a happy ending after 8 years

But looking for something else vvvv soon

I was horribly taken advantage of and very under paid, but worth it in the grand scheme.

[tigerdog]

Yup, same here. Took a job close to home with an excellent work life balance ready to have a baby. 18 months on and just been through lots of tests and pronounced as unexplained infertility. I'm bored as hell at work but don't feel as though I can change jobs to do what I want and progress my career as it will mean sacrificing the free time. The horrible part is not knowing - if I got pg tomorrow then if be happy to hang on, but if we are talking years then I don't think I can stick it out. So frustrating!

shoegal I'm just trying to fill my spare time with lots of hobbies and fun stuff instead.

Hope that bfps are on the way for us all!

[Catlover2014]

Thanks for posting!

Good to know I'm not alone. I've stuck out a dead end job that bores the hell out of me for 5 years while I've been ttc.

Now I've had two mcs this year and taken lots of sick leave. Can't see who will want me if I ever leave lol.

XxX

[Shoegal30]

Ah ladies I can't believe how many of us are in the same boat. It really is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

That's good advice about having fun activities outside of work and in fairness I do generally switch off as soon as I leave the office door - just having a hard week this week so think just wanted to rant.

I will just have to stick it out and hopefully it won't take us long to get that bfp. I think if I started a new job alongside going for ivf, the stress might be too great.

[Shoegal30]

Cat sorry to hear about the mcs. Work isn't important and your wellbeing is priority. I'm sure you will find something when the time is right.

Hope you get your bfp soon x

[rachella99]

Can I join?!! I am in more of a job than a career (senior admin role) and have been in the role 4 years and TTC for 2 years. This is my second longest job role ever! I don't hate it but I really don't want to be there anymore. I am now 40 so the infertility is not a 'surprise' to me although I have had two mc in 2013. I am now injecting for IVF although my base scan two days ago was not good (only 3+2 tiny follies). It's yet another wait until Friday 4th July when I have my scan to see if I have responded. I'm not hopeful at all. I've just signed up to study accountancy in the hope of qualifying then working from home. Mostly this is to take my mind away from the whole baby thing and give me some direction if I can't ever have children.

[Catlover2014]

Thanks shoe I hope you get yours soon too. Sounds like there are lots of lovely ladies on here who are due some good luck!!! X

[MrsVonBlack13]

I am currently signed off my work for 2 months now but it may be longer. I am so stuck as I have been in my job for 6 years and when it got a bit much I kept saying "no point in leaving you will pregnant soon". They have the best maternity policy (Nhs employee) but I really don't know how I can go back. I. Know for a fact that it has caused issues in my fertility and now being off I thought I'd finally get my bfp.

Sorry for the rant guys I. Just have no one t talk to about it really.

[Triplespin]

Same here. Everyone I know has left the place I wrk at for better opportunities and I am still waiting for that elusive bfp.

[Knittingninja]

Hi, I am so in the same boat but I am actually leaving my job soon (hooray!). I'm currently in the NHS too so spent a couple of years thinking that it was no big deal that I wasn't loving work as shortly I would be off on maternity leave for a year. Several years later I decided to reconsider my options even with all the infertility treatment ongoing- I thought about all sorts of things from stopping work entirely, cutting back my hours, re-training as something else, writing a novel- I had quite a long list! The result of this is that I will soon be going back to uni (with funding from the uni department otherwise I couldn't afford it). I'm still taking a pay cut to do it but luckily with DH's salary too we should be able to make it work, even with paying for treatment. Anyway I'm sooooo much happier now that I know I'm leaving, just a few more weeks to go! So I would thoroughly recommend having a sit down with pen and paper and consider pros and cons of all your options. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you all that things work out at work irrespective of fertility outcomes :)

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Me me me!!!

Just the same as everyone else really. I work ridiculous amounts of days on the trot, shifts and on call so it really affects ttc. Sticking it out for the mat leave when the all elusive bfp arrives.

Had a bfp for all of 7 days last wk, really wouldn't be surprised if work contributed to loss.

Thinking of starting ivf soon & have no idea how to do it with work issues. Pah! I know I've not added anything useful here but nice to here I'm not alone in this.

[MrsVonBlack13]

knittingninja I wish I was as brave and obviously brainy as you! It sounds like quite the adventure and well done you for taking those steps!

Now to try and get my life back on track haha x