Fucking NHS infertility clinic!!

[erilou38]

Feeling devastated today as i got a disappointing hormone blood result. My FSH level was 20 on cycle day 3!!!!! This basically means that i am borderline menopausal and i am only age 38!!!! Been trying for a baby for 18 months with no success with my lovely husband who has no children of his own. Always very fertile in the past as i have 3 children from a previous relationship whom i conceived easily. Can't understand how this has happened. Got reffered to an NHS infertility clinic in the spring of this year and had a scan which revealed i had a few ovarian cysts. With the cysts and abnormal blood results the clinic concluded that i had polycystic ovaries even though i asked them on several occasions if i was having an early menopause. Their answer was no, don't be silly. So anyway, they prescribed me Clomid last month which was to be started at the beginning of my next cycle following a blood test. Anyway, my period came last Saturday. I waqs meant to have the bloods taken on day 2 but as it was a weekend i couldn't so i had bloods taken on Monday, cycle day 3. The Clomid was meant to be started also on days 2 or 3 but i preferred to wait until my next cycle after i had got this latest lots of blood results. By the way, my last FSH was 11.3 which the clinic described as 'reasonable'. I was getting prepared and feeling hopeful that the Clomid was going to work as the clinic had more or less told me i had PCOS and would most likely get a good response from the Clomid. To my utter horror and disbelief i phone the clinic this morning for my results to be told that my FSH is 20 and i am menopausal and there is nothing that can be done to help me. I'm 38 for christ sake, not fucking 48!!!!!!!!! The nurse whom i spoke to whom i have met is in her 50s and was very dismissive and short with me. She told me very matter of factly that an FSH of 20 was very bad and i am most certainly menopausal. This same woman assured me just 3 months ago that i wasn't menopausal but most likely has PCOS. The consultant whom i visited a month ago also backed this up. I feel cheated, let down and devastated and very bitter. The clinic just didn't seem to give a shit, it's like they wanted to mwash their hands of me. Stupid bastards!! I'm feeling very unfeminine, empty and completely devastated, almost like someone has died. I have even taken to having half a bottle of wine this evening to try and ease the pain of my pathetic situation. I very rarely drink alcohol. I just can 't accept i am in menopause at such a young age and heartbroken that i can never again have another child and very angry at those incompetant twats at that infertility clinic. Will be making a complaint for sure.

[erilou38]

Life is such a fucking bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DontCallMeDaughter]

Can you ask to repeat the test next month?! I've heard that fsh levels can change and yours has gone from 11.3 to 20 in a couple of months, that seems a wild swing. And I'd want to know that next month was showing a similar result.

If you really are menopausal then I don't think you're wrong to grieve at all. You were hoping for another child and finding out that's not possible must be incredibly hard. You're entitled to feel how you feel.

[erilou38]

The consultant is supposed to be contacting me within the next couple of weeks for a review. I will ask then for a repeat test at the beginning of my next cycle. I had definitely ovulated two cycles ago as a day 28 progesterone test confirmed this. This had given me hope. It seems i keep getting my hopes up only for them to be dashed big time today. When i saw my doctor at the surgery last week, he too was hopeful that i would get pregnant with Clomid. He told me he had seen plenty of women my age and older getting pregnant with Clomid. This also got me feeling hopeful. I just feel i have come crashing down today and am distraught.

[erilou38]

Thinking of paying £190 to have a consultation at a private clinic. It is more than i can afford but would be good to get a 2nd opinion. I am aware that fertility declines with age but i just din't buy it that a woman can be in menopause at 38 when she is still ovulating sometimes and has 3 children already, the youngest being 7.

[Shellster52]

I know I bother you too much already Erilou but I was just reading this thread and it reminded me that I think when my FSH was a high 18.2, it was tested on day 3 of my cycle. The IVF clinic nurse said to test it on day 2 next cycle as the level can start to rise by day 3. The next cycle I got it tested on day 2 (first thing in the morning before it had a chance to rise at all!) and it was much better - can't remember the exact figure but can look it up if you want to know details.

I just thought of this when I noticed you said your test was meant to be on day 2 but was done on day 3. When the NHS doctor calls you, could you mention that the blood test was done late on day 3 and you would like to repeat it on day 2 before making a final decision on the Clomid?