Re: Can anyone give some advice?

[guesthere]

Hi

I really hope someone can provide some advice. I'm in a situation where I don't know what to do and I really need some help to decide. I realise I have to do something as soon as possible or else it could be too late.

I'm 46, almost 47 and I would like to have a child, am I too old? I got pregnant twice in 2011 and miscarried. I have social anxiety which is why I've waited for so long to try having children in the first place. I regret not trying any sooner and it's really troubling me. I'd love to be able to have a child or at least adopt one but I can't afford to have ivf and I don't think it would work because of my age. Is anyone in a similar situation to this?

I really am feeling desperate and even though I've spoken to people about it, they aren't encouraging me to have a child. However, my sisters who are all younger have got their children and everything seems to be concentrated on them, it's making me feel very inadequate and resentful but I don't want to feel that way. I know it's silly to feel left out but I love children, get on really well with them and always imagined having one eventually. Most people the same age or younger have children and I am a little envious of them. It's very difficult to adopt in the UK and I can't afford ivf. I am a Christian believer and I am looking really for the best way to achieve something that most people seem to have.

I hope someone will reply with some advice.

Thanks

[Geekster]

Hi, sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Is there any way you may be able to conceive again naturally? I had my Daughter aged 39 nearly 40 after six miscarriages. I took aspirin with the successful pregnancy. They later told me they recommend anyone over the age of 35 to take aspirin if they have had previous miscarriages. So might be worth asking about. Sorry I couldn't answer most of your questions hopefully someone will come along who can. Also apologise if it seemed insensitive to ask if you can conceive naturally. X

[guesthere]

Geekster
Thanks, I appreciate you replying. I've tried conceiving since the start of 2012 and when nothing happened I assumed that I no longer could and I can't afford the ivf treatment. My doctor didn't tell me anything about taking aspirin but I've heard others say that it works. I really don't know what to do and my doctor hasn't suggested I find out why I had the miscarriages, she put it down to my age. I hope it's not too late, I'd really like to have a child. Thanks again for replying and if you or anyone else has any more recommendations, I would be glad to hear about them.

[crazyhead]

Dear guesthere,

I wonder if it is worth looking at the adoption/fostering forums here for advice and also the over 35 mothers website www.mothers35plus.co.uk/

My understanding is that 46/7 is too late for most women unless they have IVF with donor eggs, but not all - here's a woman in the Guardian writing about her pregnancy at 47. www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/24/luisa-dillner-pregnant-older-mother

However, given that it is really hard I think in your shoes I'd want to think about all the different ways that you might be able to embrace a mothering role. Good luck xx

[guesthere]

crazyhead
Thank you, I appreciate the links. I will have a look on the adoption forums as well as the embryo donation. I've always had an interest in adoption, however I've read about how difficult it is to have a child. I would be happy to adopt a child up to 3 years old so it wouldn't necessarily have to be a baby, although I would probably prefer it.

I read that article in the guardian and I've come across other similar stories but I think it tends to happen to those who aren't trying to get pregnant.

What do you think about embryo donation? It is cheaper than egg donation and is similar to adoption.