I've finally hit the lowest and most depressing point in my life :-(
I have lost almost 3 stones since may this year, not a lot compared to others, I know, but I have PCOS and it has been a huge struggle for me. I still have about 3 more stone to lose. I lose almost every week, but usually 1/2 or 1 lb, and that is with eating fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch and a really healthy dinner with at least half being vegetables (Slimming World).
I haven't been to class since the start of December, firstly because my son was ill, and then just because Christmas got in the way, and according to my scales, I have put on 5 lbs since then, including all the overindulgences over Christmas.
I saw my GP back in May as I had been TTC for a rather long time, and wasn't even having periods, and after I lost some weight, she referred me to the fertility clinic back in September. This morning, I got a letter through from my GP to say that the hospital wouldn't accept my referral, one of the issues being my weight :-( My BMI is just over 30, so not massive, and so many others I know with PCOS have had Clomid (which is what the GP says I need) at higher BMIs, so I am just devastated and don't understand. In fact a good friend of mine (also with PCOS) who lives 15 miles away, which takes her just into the next county, who has a BMI higher than mine, has just started Clomid after a recent referral.
I am also angry with the hospital that it has taken them from September until now to decide that I don't fit the criteria. I feel like my hopes have been raised letting my think I was getting close to being seen and then it has all just been snatched away. If I didn't fit the criteria, surely they could have written to my GP to say that in September :-(
I am now getting to the point where I feel that the gap between my son and a future baby will be too large if it doesn't happen now. I desperately didn't want him to be an only child, but he will be 6 this October, so it is getting to the point that even if I do manage to get pregnant, it will be like having two only children. It has taken me 9 months to lose these 3 stones, so I guess it will take the same amount of time again, in which case I am looking at a seven year gap between my DS and any future child.
I am just so depressed and feel like there is no point any more, even though they can see I have lost a load of weight, they wont even see me at the clinic :-( Not a great way to start 2013 :-(
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So upset, apparently my referral doesn't meet the criteria :-(
ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 31/12/2012 15:35
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