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News

Beware - could be contentious - Smacking Bill - For or Against?

204 replies

JoolsToo · 02/11/2004 16:18

They're trying to get a Bill through Parliament today to outlaw smacking altogether in Britain.

Your views anyone.

fyi - I'm agin it (the Bill not smacking) (oh what a surprise )!

OP posts:

Report

motherinferior · 02/11/2004 16:23

Well, guess what, I'm in favour of removing the Victorian exception of 'reasonable chastisement' (of which there is no definition, btw)to justify hitting a small vulnerable person who happens to be related to you.

Going to leave this thread now!

Marina · 02/11/2004 16:25

Agree with MI and for the same precise reason .

hercules · 02/11/2004 16:25

I agree with MI and I also am running

fast.

JoolsToo · 02/11/2004 16:26

oh, oh - strike 1 (no pun intended)

we're not talking flogging here you know!

OP posts:

Pidge · 02/11/2004 16:26

I'm with you MI! Had to bite my tongue at work today, as all my male colleagues seem in favour of walloping their kids.

bundle · 02/11/2004 16:28

agree with MI too, it's a real anomaly that you can thump someone small in your own home and get away with it yet you could be charged with assault if it was someone the same size as you on the street.

JoolsToo · 02/11/2004 16:32

there you go you see jumping to conclusions - all that emotive language 'wallop', 'thump' nobody said anything about that.

OP posts:

beansmum · 02/11/2004 16:33

I'm definitely against smacking, not sure how you could actually outlaw it though.

prettybird · 02/11/2004 16:41

I'm with you JoolsToo.

It's been debated many times before, but while I TOTALLY disagree with "walloping" kids (which is illegal even now anyway), I am concerned that that such a bill would increase the powers of the "nanny" state and potentially criminalise perfectly loving parents who happen to smack their kids in certain circumstances.

For the record I HAVE "smacked" ds on a few occasions. My definition of "smack" is a tap on the hand which, while it may have stung EVER so slightly, the main effect was one of shock - and he stopped whatever it was he was doing. It also distressed him LESS than being sent out into the hallway - our normal method of chastisement. I believe that it DOES have its place, particularly with younger kids with whom it is difficult to reason, but who may need a shock to stop them doing something. The smack is NOT intended to hurt - just to stop them in their tracks.

Now that ds is 4, I believe it is no longer appropriate to consider smacking, as we can now reason with him - and threats to "take away a piece of pasta" (thanks Mumsnet for that one - can't remember whose tip it was ) usually have the required effect. That or a threat to be sent to bed!

In all other things, I am a trendy pinko liberal!

hercules · 02/11/2004 16:43

So if you have an adult with learning difficulties who cant be "reasoned" with is then okay to smack them?

hercules · 02/11/2004 16:43

So if you have an adult with learning difficulties who cant be "reasoned" with is then okay to smack them?

Twiglett · 02/11/2004 16:49

I'm against the bill

And I also believe that a smack on the bottom or a tap on the hand after fair warning about unacceptable behaviour (we used to warn that we were going to count, then count) is a useful technique in the earlier years ..

I am against smacking out of anger or personal frustration

prettybird · 02/11/2004 16:51

I have no experience of adults with learning disabilities. I just know what worked with my child (and with me and my brother when we were young).

Adults are different and I am sure that experienced carers will have various techniques and coping mechanisms.

JoolsToo · 02/11/2004 17:03

prettybird - very eloquently put - thought I was going to all alone there for a minute!

hercules - thats an unfair comment - thats not the issue.

OP posts:

enid · 02/11/2004 17:06

Agree with MI, Marina and others. I hate smacking and although I can't see how it will be enforced I am for it

enid · 02/11/2004 17:08

Jools - smack, wallop, thump - same thing - still hitting...

((oh why o why am I doing this, I can't help myself )

hercules · 02/11/2004 17:08

But surely it is part of the issue? Each are vulnerable and depend on you and have no control over what you do to them, nor can they reasoned with. Why is it okay to smack a child but not an adult who has the same characteristics?

bundle · 02/11/2004 17:12

and who says smacking works? how has it been evaluated? i was smacked occasionally as a child but have decided it's not for me and my girls as i would feel hypocritical telling them not to hit others if i hit them (I am anti any kind of violence anyway). v naughty children at my school got the cane and some thought this worked but it is now banned in state schools, thank god. i saw Little Angels the other night & seeing the relief on a mum's face when she finally decided to draw up a no-smacking policy with her two sons was just lovely..

sponge · 02/11/2004 17:18

Beating children is obviously out of order but I don't think it's the government's place to tell us how to discipline our children. We all have our own ways. Personally I very rarely smack dd and when I do, as prettybird says, it works to shock her not hurt her (probably more so becasue it's very rare). I wouldn't dream of hurting her. Also I know people who smack their kids a lot and it has no effect at all as they're too used to it. But that's not the point. Whether it's an effective method of discipline or not it's not the government's place to tell us we can't do it.

enid · 02/11/2004 17:18

it doesnt 'work' - but it is a response to a stressful situation - my best friend smacks her children and it makes me cringe when she threatens it, but she's still my best friend...I don't think I am any better than anyone else because I choose not to smack - I do think it is a choice you make somewhere along the line and then it just becomes engrained into the way you 'do' things.

Marina · 02/11/2004 17:18

Click on the Supporters button on this website to see 100s more reasons for supporting this legislation.
There have been several threads on this site over the years in which Mumsnetters have expressed concern about seeing children being hit by an adult in public. It happens even more in private. We all know that.
This legislation will enable police and social services to intervene sooner and more effectively in child abuse cases.

enid · 02/11/2004 17:19

thanks for that Marina!

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enid · 02/11/2004 17:23

wait until Coddy gets a hold of this thread

Twiglett · 02/11/2004 17:26

well it 'worked' for us when used at the end of the warning process ..

prufrock · 02/11/2004 17:30

In principle I am against the bill, because I hate the "nanny state" telling parents waht they can and can't do. Even though I do not agree with smacking, and have never hit my childrn, I do think responsible parents (where's bloss)should have the choice to use physical chastisement as part of their discipline system. Unfortunately not all parents who smack do so responsibly, which makes a bill necessary to give a public message that it is not OK to abuse your children. But this won't necessarily stop abuse in private - in might be better to provide support for parents to find other ways of discipline, and ways to contain their anger.

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