PILs just do not understand what we are doing. They don't see the value at all of autonomous education.
I have tried all the obvious stuff
Basically, they like to see results. ATM, they feel that we really should be doing worksheets etc-but more than that, they seem to feel that even making stuff using paper would be better than them spending a few hours playing little house on the prairie.
They also seem to have great problems getting their heads around the fact that there are certain things kids seems to do in school that we just don't. Quite trivial stuff, like there is a lot of consternation over my kids not doing junk modelling or making cards using foam. They do do am awful lot of crafts, just that because I went to a steiner kindergarten myself, we do more knitting, sewing, weaving, flower pressed cards etc (god that all sounds so petty and silly writing it down but thats what I was cornered over last night).
It is not even so much that they disaprove, though tbh they do. But they are trying, and so am I. It is that they honestly seem not to understand. They seem honestly to equate learning with being taught (honestly, with my kids, just because I-or ANYONE-teaches them there is absolutely no guarentee that it is going in).
They also seem to feel that kids need to be "occupied" quite a lot doing something, even if that is something that, tbh, seems pretty much like busywork. Whereas I feel that kids do need quite a lot of downtime to process stuff and decide what they need to know next.
I know I could just say "you know what, they are our kids so bog off" but I don't want to do that. I want them to feel included and involved, for their sakes, but I just don't know why they can't seem to understand at ALL what we are doing, or that there could even be a remote possibility that it could work.
I am also quite happy to be flexible. They keep trying to get ds to do faintly disguised worksheets, numeracy activities, sound words out for them, etc. Ds doesn't mind doing this stuff and so I don't say anything-though I am strongly of the autonomous stance, I don't think a few worksheets every few weeks are actually going to kill his love of learning.
The odd thing is as well that for our chidlren this approach seems to work rather well, certainly in terms of reading and numeracy and general knowledge.
I suppose I am trying to work out what their problem actually IS, and why they utterly, utterly can't get what we are doing.
This hasn't bee sprung on them at all, they knew that we planned to HE since ds was born 5 years ago. We've offered them carefully screened books (including Alan Thomas' latest!). They are retired teachers, and guardianistas, and not daft at all.
FWIW my style is pretty autonomous, though with a lot of "strewing". In a few cases, where they make a decision that they really want to do something, I will do what I can to keep them on target for that, but this is in a very consensual way, IYKWIM.
I am sorry this is a looong ramble, my thoughts are a bit all over the place. And it might be a bit full of jargon. Oh I don't know. Just any thoughts, really. I do value them a lot as people and grandparents and I really, more than anything, don't want them to feel left out. We are not on the brink of WW3 chex Filly but I would really like to just bridge this gap a little.
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Grandparents and home education-what do you do when they just don't get it, but you actually rather like them and want them to?
44 replies
Fillyjonk · 08/11/2008 09:10
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