Help me I am messing this up

[Imnotok]

I ttok dd out of school in May she has dyspraxia and has had issues at school both with bullying and her bullying others .
We have not had any help from the senco or any of her teachers over the 4 years she was at school.
The he went well at first but her temper is awful and if she dosen't want to do something she won't .
I feel like I am failing at HE and feel rubbish about it.
I can not send her to another school as I can not do two school runs ,my only option wold be to send her back to her old school which would feel like sending her back to the lions den.
I am just running out of ideas and I am tired all the time .

[Imnotok]

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[SmugColditz]

Do you use any Home Ed groups? You need Onwardandupward for this, she knows what she's doing with Home ed.

[AMumInScotland]

I think that other people who have taken their children out of school to HE, after there have been problems at school, tend to suggest that they need at least a month for every year they were in school to just de-school (unschool?). So, on that basis, she would need a good 4 months with absolutely no pressure at all to do anything, just to "get over" some of the hurt and confusion and whatever else emotions the problems have brought up in her.

To you, it probably seems a long time since May, and you'd think she'd be ready to get started into it again, but from what I've heard elsewhere it's very normal for them to take a long time to deal with it, and be very resistant to anything which looks like schoolwork.

Is anyone like the LEA hassling you to start showing them results? If so, there are people on here who can help you with how to respond to them, to get them off your back for a while without setting off any worries.

If it's just that you were expecting to be "doing things" by now, specially when it was ok at first, I'd suggest really just totally easing off. Maybe there are other interesting and useful things she could be doing, which are not at all like schoolwork? Documentaries, gardening, nature walks? Not sure your daughter's age or interests, but she could be doing stuff which she likes until she's ready to do more formal stuff again.

I hope that makes some kind of sense - I haven't really been through it myself as although DS is now HE he is nearly 15 and didn't have problems at school so it was different for us. But, in the absence of those with personal experience, I know this is the kind of thing they've told other people in this situation!

[julienoshoes]

Hello Imnotok.
Your daughter sounds like she still needs time to deschool
As she only came out in May and had lots of problems, she probably needs more time than the suggested 1 month for every year in school. I know our children who all had dyslexia/dyspraxia/dysgraphia issues did.
Why not let go of any formal learning and concentrate and getting out and about visiting places (that will be nice and empty now the schools are back) This doesn't mean she won't be learning anything-just that she wouldn't be doing anything formally.

Have you asked her what she is interested in and would like to do?
Have you managed to find home educators locally to talk to?

And my other suggestion would be to join the Home Ed Special Needs support list you would get loads of support and advice from people there who have been through the position you find your self in right now.
I can't rate the expertise and support available on that list highly enough.

Got to dash out now for an appointment but will be back later.

[Imnotok]

Thankyou for all the replies .We have not been doing much formal work at all she just seems so resistant to anything .
I think what has happened is the six weeks holidays (when my other dc were off) and we are finding ot hard to get back into any sort of routine .
I am going to start making some plans over the weekend for visits and stuff now my head is a bit clearer .
The LEA have not even been in touch yet but I am sure it wont be long .
Thanks again

[onwardandupward]

Haven't read all the thread yet but am jaw hits floor in pride and shock at being noticed by Colditz as informed about HEdoes a little Indian rain dance. Ooops. That was a bit too successful

[onwardandupward]

Harumph. Niot a lot of wisdom I can add now that MuminScotland and Julienoshoes have been by.

They NICKED EVERYTHING I WAS GOING TO SAY!!!!!!

goes off in a huge huff

[AMumInScotland]

Oo, feel free to say the same things anyway - I only did 'cos I got in just ahead of Julie!

[Blandmum]

I can't really help regarding the HE in general, but I can recommend something ti help with the writing issues that can occure with dyspraxia.

Have a look at the scheme, 'Write from the start', which gives you graded pen exercises, you can buy it from Amazon.

We used it with ds (dyspraxia/graphia) and it was very helpful

[Imnotok]

Thankyou everyone I feel much better about things now think I was just having a wobble.
Martian I will go and have a look for that now thankyou .