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Home ed

Reasons for home-edding!

27 replies

Didylicious · 14/12/2007 15:56

I can think of a few reasons to home-ed but are these good enough?!

1 I want to spend time with my kids and resent having to give them over to the school every day

2 It's a long walk to school (1.5 miles - so I do 6 miles a day currently and if my younger child starts on half days in sept - when my baby will be 3m old, I will havea to walk 9 miles a day - there and back 3 X). I feel I waste a LOT of time walking.

3 it's nicer for the kids to be together rather than segregated into age-groups at school.

4 I can teach the kids what they'd like to learn, when they'd like to learn it!

5 my 5y old tells me most of school is boring.... that doesn't make me feel good that I send her somewhere to be bored several hours a day.

6 I'll be honest - I don't really like to conform - I hate uniform and dressing my kids in it - they are individuals!

I'm sure there's more - but does it look like I'm being selfish wanting to home-ed my kids?

I have ordered a couple of books to read over the holiday's but I really need to also convince my husband that home education can be better for our kids than school. At the moment he thinks If I were to take them out of school and he, I would be mucking up their lives!

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EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 15:59

I think those are fairly strange reasons if you ask me.

My two adore school and do so many different things.

there is no way they would get the wealth of ecperiences and interaction they need at home.

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LemonTart · 14/12/2007 16:04

There are a lot of useful threads on here already that might help you when considering your options. I have been in your position and know how the thinking it through phase can be very hard going.One teeny little point though.. reread your list and see how much of it is phrased about you and how much is phrased for your children. Is it deliberate? "I" want to spend time with them - not they want time with me, "I" will have to walk 9 miles a day - not that they will be walking a long way too (ok not as long and wow - sure sounds a lot for you) "I" can teach the kids what they?s like to learn (careful on that score - not quite as simple as that! lol, plenty they need to learn that is not always as simple as sugaring it away via a cute project believe me) "I don?t like to conform" - what about them. I hate conforming too but my DD loves the security and pride in dressing like her mates..
Just playing devil?s advocate here as I am sure you are thinking about them and their needs. Just perhaps rewrite your list from their perspective first and see how it reads to you then. There are major advantages for the whole family with HE but, OMG, every HE, if they are honest, will admit that there are a whole heap of disadvantages and sacrifices to be made too.
Good luck deciding. Not an easy call and respect to you for considering it at all - not easy decision to make.

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Unfitmother · 14/12/2007 16:05

and the good reasons are...???

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Lazycow · 14/12/2007 16:05

Actually I think point 5 is one of the best reasons I can think of to home ed (assuming the child doesn't say the same about learning at home )

The walking bit would actually be a reason for me to keep doing the school run at least I'd be getting loads of exercise as part of my day.

Can you cycle the school route which would cut down the time it takes but still give you some exercise? I don't know how old your children are but the older ones could perhaps cycle (under your guidance) and I know some people have those cycle trailers that take two young children. Though I think the baby would need to be at least 6 months old and sitting up well to ride in it I suppose.

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SpikeandDru · 14/12/2007 16:06

They all sound like good enough reasons to me. I'm not Home educating and my DS loves school, however, if he hated school I'd have no problem with pulling him out and home educating.

The interaction thing is fine - we have a thriving home education group locally where all the children meet on a regular basis. They do masses of things - some of which they would not get an opportunity to try in school AND they experience mixing with children of all ages.

Anyway - what do I know - I'll leave it to the Home ed people on here who can tell you from their own experiences.

Good luck with it.

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EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 16:10

If they don't like school you would pull them out?

i think that's a strange comment. Pandering to their whims like that will only lead to problems surely?

Most kids when older start disliking school at some point.

It's the best place for them to learn from the professionals i think.

Plus - who the hell would want your kids around you 24/7?

It would drive me crazy. you need some space to live your own life as well as being a parent.

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Lazycow · 14/12/2007 16:16

One of my friends home educates her children and has 7 of them ranging from age 14 down to 2 years old.

Her children are some of the most polite, socialble, well-educated, pleasant children I know.

I couldn't do it as I'm not disciplined enough but it has certainly worked for my friend.

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SpikeandDru · 14/12/2007 16:20

Ah yes Eric - should have explained that I hated school due to continuous ( throughout my education) bullying. Didn't help that I had parents going through a very acrimonious divorce and several changes of school. So yes - if that was my son's experience I would indeed pull him out and home educate him. I don't home ed because I recognise that he is a different child to the one I was and with a different background.ie - not with parents ripping each other and their kids apart.

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emmaagain · 14/12/2007 16:25

Point 5 is the most important. No reason to send a child to school if they are very bored there.

And especially with littler ones around - you're very aware that there is a continuum of learning, and your 5 year old isn't suddenly this independent little body who wants to be away from you for 6 hours every day, in a room with 30 other children her age (what the heck is that all about???!!!)

Not sure why quite so many non-HE sympathetic people are on this thread... they are not likely to give you helpful advice pertaining to advantages of HE...

There is a supportive, growing and successful HE community in the UK. Education OTherwise is probably the most visible large group. Get yourself in touch with them; they won't bombard you with suggestions that children need to be bored for their own good, that children are so awful you wouldn't want to be with them 24/7, that "pandering to children's whims" is an awful thing to do, and that you "need space" which means putting your child in state-provided mass childcare (Which, according to the school teachers of my acquaintance is, honestly, what it is, however much they try to dress it up as a marvellous experience).

HE is a wonderful wonderful journey - you and your children would not regret it for an instant.

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EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 16:26

Fair enough Spike.

i fully admit there may be certain reasons where home-ed might be an option for certain extreme reasons such as geographical or physical reasons like you have suggested.

I fail to see why someone would actively seek reasons to justify home-ed though just because they think they would prefer it.

If i asked my two what they would prefer - the answer would be definitely attending school.

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TwinklyfLightAttendant · 14/12/2007 16:27

Sorry to see you've had such a harsh response so far... there are a lot of mners who are very much in favour of educating at home, they will come out of the woodwork soon

sorry one finger typing, baby on lap!

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Lazycow · 14/12/2007 16:29

Am I the only one who thinks these last posts are a bit oversensitive. As far as I can see only one poster has been negative about HEdding. All the rest of us have been quite positive even if we don't have much experience.

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emmaagain · 14/12/2007 16:31

Phone these people

www.educationeverywhere.co.uk/

They'll be supportive and informative!!!!

"I fail to see why someone would actively seek reasons to justify home-ed though just because they think they would prefer it."

A short answer might be because some of us take our children's needs and desires seriously. It's not a one-way street. One can try HE for a term or a year and then go back into school if child prefers that.

A slightly longer reason would be: what earthly reason is there not to do what we and our children desire as long as it is legal and has no negative impact on anyone (before you leap in with "the HE is a less good option" mantra, you need to know that HE children consistently outperform schooled ones in all academic measures, and you also need to know that there are very active social HE networks)

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emmaagain · 14/12/2007 16:33

Sorry to be oversensitive.

Trying to imagine the response in one of the school forums if someone posted "my child isn't happy at school" and a HEer or two jumped in with "well take them out of school". Likely to be poorly received.

Same here.

If someone is exploring HE, in a dedicated HE support forum, then I'd say the EricScrooge response is less than helpful.

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TwinklyfLightAttendant · 14/12/2007 16:34

That post crossed with Emma's and others, sorry!

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TwinklyfLightAttendant · 14/12/2007 16:35

(I am soooo slow at typing when using one finger, it usually ends up being totally irrelevant by the time it gets posted!)

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EricScrooge · 14/12/2007 16:40

I'll butt out now then - don't want to scare people off the issue.

I just find it fascinating because it is something i have no experience of and am interested in the reasons why someone would choose this over school.

It's just my usual blunt way of getting people talking about the issue to me.

Whatever decision you come to will be the right one for your kids - i can see that.

I'm sure your kids will do well whatever teaching they recieve - after all, it's what we all do without thinking on a daily basis with them anyway!

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TooTickyDoves · 14/12/2007 16:51

If I were you, I'd find out about local HE groups (maybe on Yahoo?) and see how many people are HEing near you and what activities are arranged.
Speaking to other HEers is also useful.
I have taken my dd1 (11) out of school for this year because of a specific situation. It seems quite hard going at times but maybe this is because I feel I ought to be strictish because she will be going to school next year, also ds1 and ds2 are in school and they mustn't feel she is slacking at home!
Given the time, money and resources I think HE is fantastic.
Good luck with your decision.

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SueBaRoomForAMincePie · 14/12/2007 17:04

Number 3 is a good one in my experience. There's a very special element of osmosis that happens in this house with little ones of different ages.

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Ubergeekian · 14/12/2007 21:40

Quoth EricScrooge: "i have no experience of and am interested in the reasons why someone would choose this over school"

I tend to think of this the other way round - what are the reasons for choosing school, rather than home education? By default we feed our children, we nurse our children, we clothe our children - so why shouldn't the default be that we educate our children?

In other words, I will only send The Boy to school if and when I am convinced that he will do better there than at home with me.

Incidentally, I do know that there are lots of good reasons for sending children to school!

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Didylicious · 15/12/2007 07:24

Thanks for all of your responses and opinions! It's all valuable information. I am continuing to find out more about this option - and will no doubt have more questions to post here!

I think initially I am going to try home-edding in the holidays - and see how the children respond to that. I'm sure we DO inadvertantly do some un-schooling education - I provide plenty of boooks, arts materials, answer miriads of questions daily and we go to the library to find out more if they're really interested. We visit places of interest take walks in the country, bake, play games and sports etc...

Of course there may well be a lot more to it than that!

I've got to figure out what kind of "paperwork" I would need if I were to have to "prove" the worth of these activities if we were doing this full-time if the LEA were to be checking on me - for instance - do HE's need to keep a diary of the education? (I'm guessing this might be an idea initially at least for me!).

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emmaagain · 15/12/2007 10:07

"Of course there may well be a lot more to it than that!"

Not exactly - unschooling is all about following the child's interests and facilitating them, but it takes time for them and you to calm down and for them to start to take control over their own minds again after school - lots of people talk about a period of deschooling - so if you are all bouncing off the walls somewhat for the first couple of months, and all your child seems to do is X (insert activity which makes you slightly anxious), that's completely completely normal.

"I've got to figure out what kind of "paperwork" I would need if I were to have to "prove" the worth of these activities if we were doing this full-time if the LEA were to be checking on me - for instance - do HE's need to keep a diary of the education? (I'm guessing this might be a
an idea initially at least for me!). "

All you have to provide to the LEA is a statement of your teaching philosophy when they ask you to confirm that you are educating your children. Many HEers keep all communication with the LEA in writing. There are examples of letters on the EO website. Lots of unschoolers tell the LEA something along the lines that their children are learning in everything they do, and that they aren't necessarily producing written work the LEA will be invited to see, and they certainly will not welcome LEA visits thank you very much (LEA has no power to make home visits, although many of them pretend they do). But that the education of their children is their paramount concern. In law, the LEA has to prove that you are NOT providing an education for your child - they don't get to define that education.

THere are some new guidelines just out which summarise the law, intended to stop LEA people overstepping the legal mark - there's a link in an earlier thread here, I think - it's only about 3 weeks ago.

HTH

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Saturn74 · 15/12/2007 10:09

You can choose re your involvement with the LEA if you live in England.

1: You can meet with them.

This can be at your home, or at some other place such as library or coffee shop.
You can let the LEA rep meet with your children.
Or not.

2: You can send them your Education Philosophy statement. Lots of examples of these online, and some on the Education Otherwise website.

Plus a list of education provision, eg: places you have visited, books the children have read, experiences they have access to etc.

We had visits initially, but don't anymore, as I couldn't see any value in it for us

Now I keep a list on the pc of where we've been etc, and the children have their own blog.

Once you start to HE, your confidence in your own abilities will grow.

I second the advice to get in touch with HE families in your area, as this will help you to realise that there really are as many ways to successfully HE, as there are families doing it!

And no choice is irreversible, so you could try HE for a while, and see how everyone gets on.

(Oh, and possibly best not to base any major life choices on the advice or criticism of people who have no experience or knowledge of that particular choice! )

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Gimli · 21/12/2007 01:26

Hi,
Didylicious. Our DS is just born so has a few years before we need to worry about things like that (you might have guessed from the post time) but I just want to say good luck to you. My DW is a nursery teacher and the latest rubbish to come from Government has her having to come up with an individual learning plan for each of the 37 in her class. Add to that having to force feed them reading at 3. Add to that the teaching to pass Sats tests that goes on later, and I can understand why anyone would want to look at alternatives. I hope it goes well for you.

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Julienoshoes · 21/12/2007 09:35

Hello
I missed the beginning of this thread as i have been away for family reasons.

My response would be to say that the first reason alone is good enough to be a reason to home ed.

Combine that with;
5) my 5y old tells me most of school is boring.... that doesn't make me feel good that I send her somewhere to be bored several hours a day.

and my feeling is "Why wouldn't you home educate then?"
I wish I had known that home education was a legal viable option when my children were young.

Check out the main HE webpages; www.education-otherwise.org this site has a page for Dad's by HE Dad's-might be worth a look.

home-education.org.uk/ This site has lots of articles that are worth reading.

Both of these two websites have links to Home ed internet support lists-a much better place to get support about home education IMHO as more of us are there.

www.muddlepuddle.co.uk is a webpage especially for HE families with children under 8 years old. Home also to the HE Early Years support list.groups.yahoo.com/group/EarlyYearsHE/
This would be ideal for your family I think.

www.homeed.cjb.net/ is a site full of resources and suggestions-by a HE mom.

Don't worry about paperwork at this point.
The LA are allowed to make informal enquiries if they have reason to believe an education is not taking place.
In practice of course, they all take up this option at some point

But the choice of how to present that information to the LA is up to you the parent.
Like many others, we choose not to have a home visit-and the LA have never seen our children since they left school. We simply do not see the point, as the LA have nothing to offer that can't be gained from the home ed community much more efficiently.
Instead we send our 'educational philosophy' and a short written report.

There is an interesting article about formal vs informal home education here;
www.infed.org/biblio/home-education.htm

We are totally informal/autonomous home educators. Along the way we have done no formal work at all, unless the children requested it. Instead they learned through living life -which has been happy and stress free since we deregsitered them and has got the children to the point where they have either successfully returned to the system at FE college to do A levels (with very good results) or are able to start an OU course (bypassing GCSEs and A levels altogether)

Good luck with whatever you choose.

regards
Julie
Home Educating in Worcestershire
w.worcestershire-home-educators.co.uk/

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