Is anyone Home educating as well as being depressed themselves?

[Columbia]

I am finding the constant exhaustion of Ds (4) plus the fact that he is having his head bashed on the ground/railings daily by the other nice little boys, is getting to me a lot.
I mentioned to Mum yesterday that I am getting more and more inclined to take him out of school at least till he is a bit bigger...she jumped on me and said she thinks school is the best chance he has because I am depressed and sometimes find it hard to have him around at home, hard to engage with him or deal with him being a typical 4 year old. She said that he would be 'running wild with nobody to talk to'

I know I have bad days and things are up and down, but it isn't always like that - and I do talk to him, and I do enjoy teaching him stuff.

I know she might have a point but it made me feel like shit and really upset - a terrible depressed mum or a life at school where people beat him up and he collapses in the corridor when I go to get him (at lunchtime) in tears because he is too tired to walk to the car.

Please tell me there's someone else who is in the same boat - I feel like I've no support whatsoever. And I really, really don't want to deprive him of a fulfilled life - my mum sounded like she thought he was neglected or abused at home with me.
She tends to make me feel like that quite a lot.

[dooley1]

What a terrible situation to be in. Have you spoken to the school? Have you asked them for their anti bullying policy and why it isn't being adhered to?
I personally don't have any experience of home educating but lots of here do so hopefully someone will be on here soon. Your mum might sound harsh but maybe she is just concerned for you deep down and doesn't want you to take on more worry with home educating?

[Columbia]

Thankyou Dooley - it's not a bad school, just a school, and I think little boys do bash each other around wherever you go The dinner ladies keep an eye but I just feel it's inadequate, they are so small and tired, overwhelmed - the other day a bigger boy was blowing raspberries at him and he was doing it back - I imagine he started it, he gets angry when knackered - and he was running away, and ran straight into a row of coat pegs, banging hs face again...he just crumpled and sat there wailing like a baby.
I felt so sorry for him, he's mentally ready to learn but physically/emotionally just too small for the expectations of behaviour there.
The teacher said he was emotionally quite immature, well he was still 3 a few months ago, what do they expect?
Thanks for responding

[Columbia]

sorry the kids are small 7 overwhelmed, not the dinner ladies! well not all of them

[Columbia]

sorry the kids are small & overwhelmed, not the dinner ladies! well not all of them

[Columbia]

oops

[lailasmum]

By home educating him you aren't going to deprive him of a fulfilled life. There are lots of home ed groups around the country where he can mix with kids on his own terms and he can get involved with all sorts of activities. You can see how he goes at home and if needs be and he wants to then put him back into the system when he is ready. Could be the breath of fresh air you need. He shouldn't have to put up with the bullying at school.

[emmaagain]

join Education Otherwise - they'll be able to tell you about the local home ed groups, and you'd find them friendly and supportive, almost certainly. Where I live there are some activities for under 7s rather than any age, so that might be the sort of thing to gravitate towards.

remember, your son does not legally have to receive an education until he is 5, so even if the two of you take a few months just going to the park and the supermarket and some HE groups, it won't be anyone's business whether there's anything in there which feels or looks like school learning.

And surely you'll be less depressed if you aren't worrying about how unhappy your lo is every day?

(yes, I'm a bit evangelical about HE!)

[Columbia]

Thankyou, it helps to know there are people who don't think he'll be better off getting beaten up every day than here with me

My mother is strange like that.
Thanks for listening and all the ideas x

[christmaspixie]

Funnily enough I'm researching home schooling at the mo for my own, and I was just going to post about my sister who has manic depression and whether or not she should have kids. She has pretty much decided not to for now, as she recognises the severity of her condition and is not sure it would be the right thing. I know this is a totally different issue, and only ties in because she often balks at anything where she is under pressure to attend regularly...I wonder if it is you that is finding school very hard for some reason, or if your ds really hates it? I do think that often those around you have a greater awareness of the ups and downs and trials of the depression you are going through than people on Mumsnet....all depression is different, whether you could properly cope with homeschooling must depend upon the severity of your condition. You don't say how bad it is, whether you have the energy /time to provide a good education and a good social experience for your child? Whether he hates school already? Whether you have other children, other commitments? I'm not sure if homeschooling is still assessed, but I would guess it is, would that be too much pressure? I have a friend in a similar position who has just chosen flexi-schooling, a great in between - the best of both! Her child gets the social stimulation /interaction that he partly misses out on at home, because of her depression, but doesn't have to go all day- so she can do homeschooling things with him in the afternoon. She also gets a break then which she needs as she finds things hard quite a lot!

[gibberish]

I HE'd (still do) whilst having severe PND. Still have bouts of depression and probably will always battle it. But cope with HEing our four. Infact, it is probably the one thing that keeps me managing!

Columbia, forget what your mum or anyone else says. You know what is best for your son. If it is being at home with you then that is what he needs. Trust your instincts. And absolutely join EO. Am a local contact so if you need any info let me know.

[Skipsmum]

I home-ed my 2 boys, both special needs, and I have depression. Id echo what motherhurdicure says - it gives me fun things to get up for, and if I need a day under the quilt I can have one!
That said, I find it difficult to fit verything in and suffer guilt when I can't!