HE until 7... feasible?

[Purplelooby]

My babies are still young (22mo and 4mo), but I'm seriously considering HE. I'm a teacher myself so it's not through lack of faith in comp education... my main reason is that I think the school starting age is far far too young. In addition my son is a late August baby but was a couple of weeks early and should have been the year after. When I went back to work after he was born he went to nursery (at 12mo) and it was awful. He regressed so badly. After a couple of months I moved him to a cm and it has been wonderful, so much so that he's continued to go for 2 or 3 days a wweek since DD was born. I have some doubts though so wanted some opinions...

• I want to HE them until the more sensible school starting age of 7, but presumably this means I'll need to follow the NC to some extent. Is this ok or does it defeat the point of HE?
  
• Will it make it harder for them to then integrate into school?
  
• Can I legally still put them into a CM for a day? I think the break would do us all good! Plus maybe I could earn some money.
  
• How on earth do I persuade DH???
  
• Should I try them at school first then move to HE if didn't work? Someone said it would be selfish not to let them try school.
  

TiA ladies.

[AMumInScotland]

I think it's perfectly feasible, and I can totally 'get' your reasons for thinking it would suit. I don't have first hand experience of this age group (only HEd for a while later on) but my first thoughts are -

You wouldn't have to follow the NC, but if it was me I'd probably have a look at what the NC expects them to cover before the age you plan to start them, and check from time to time that you seem to be covering those sorts of things. But how you go about that would be totally up to you, it doesn't force you to do things in any particular order or any particular method. You'd probably find that you covered basics like literacy and numeracy anyway just because they'll 'happen' naturally.

Integrating into school - happy children will integrate, though they would have to get used to different rules than you have at home. But most children are used to that anyway, eg at Granny's house we do x, but at home we do Y. They might not know why, but they get used to the idea quickly enough.

CM - no problem, it would only depend on the CM having availability for that age group, and being happy about it. Legally, the fact that you HE doesn't mean you personally have to be with them during 'school hours', you can schedule your week/month/year how you like.

DH - tricky, but 'giving it a try' works well, as does explaining why you think it will help them.

As to it being selfish not to let them try school, you could equally say it would be selfish not to let them try HE! It's important that children get chances to be with other children, and to learn things like taking turns, coping with people they don't have much in common with, etc. But so long as they get that somewhere in their life, it doesn't have to be school.

[Purplelooby]

Ah yes that makes a lot of sense about the NC. I was hoping not to have to do any formal lessons but to have covered the NC content during play when opportunities arise. Of course DS is only tiny but I've already noticed that he teaches himself some amazing stuff but is entirely resistant to anything that I try to teach him! I have this lovely idea that we're going to follow what he's excited about, visit places, do crafts, run around in parks and then somehow find out that he's up to the right place for starting KS2... I'm just not sure how realistic this is! I think that in a perfect world I'd HE them both for his whole childhood, but the thought of it petrifies me for entirely selfish reasons. Actually even the thought of doing it until 7 petrifies me, but then so does sending him to school a few days after his 4th birthday.

I guess the bummer with my current CM is that he would be with younger kids which might bore him.

[maisiechain]

hello purplelooby:) my intention was to HE till they were 7 too. They are now 7 and 8 years:) However, the main reason was, like you to not concern them with formal learning till they were ready. My DD couldn't read at 7 or 7 and a half, but can not read fluently at 8:) I am an ex-teacher too, but had no intention of even looking at the NC tbh. For me, that was the whole point.
From an academic point of view, I would be ok with my DD going to school now at 8.
There's no way my DS at 7 could go into school without absolutely shattering his self-esteem. He is happily HE, they both are. So I'm thinking another year, maybe two for him & he would also be able to 'fit in' academically.
The trouble is, we enjoy HE. We have fab groups, they/we have great friends. I am now happy to do this all the way through if that's what the kids want. Visiting places, doing crafts, reading a lot, running around woods & parks, loads of picnics, chatting over breakie, baking, hanging out with friends.......that's been their life 0-7, its been fab:)

[maisiechain]

woops, meant to say she CAN NOW READ fluently at 8!!! I mean she reads Harry Potter, so I'd consider that pretty fluent:) They do get there, but yes it can be later than school going peers.

[IncognitoErgoSum]

Or he might really enjoy being with the and see himself as a CM too (not looking at 7yo DD, oh no!).

I HEed from start and my DC are now adults. I'd say go for it (assuming DH is onside) but don't put any specific time limit on it. Your DC are very young - by the time the older is 7, you may wonder how you could ever have thought of sending him to school then (and he will also have an opinion, believe me). Or, of course, you might both decide he wants to go to school at 5 or 6.

Don't worry about the NC - I gave up looking at it when my younger child was 3 and I realised he knew all the things in the KS1 SATs (although would not have been able to read and write them). As you do all the things in your lovely ideas, you can't help but do the things they'll need to succeed in school. Reading and writing may not happen "automatically" before 7 but there are plenty of ways you can encourage it. And if it doesn't happen, at least your child will be spared the idea that he can't learn - he'll know that he can but that he doesn't yet read and write.

[5madthings]

Perfectly possible, my eldest are ssummer born one Aug an dome July. They were home eeducated I til age 9 and 6 and started school in yr5 and yr2. They are now just 12 and almost 15 in yrs 7 and 10 and doing great.

Once they started School they were ready, I would have left it longer but my hand was forced as I had ds4 and got post natal psychosis.

Bit they setitled in fine and though we have had niggles ie with ds2 and behaviours, possible add. They have and are Doing really well.

Their teachers consistently try praise their general knowledge and said home ed had obviously worked wEll ans they were a credit to us :)

They def were not ready for school the sept after their fourth bday.

[5madthings]

I didn't have to persuade my dp he was happy for them to be home educated. Our plan was to do it tI'll ur5/6 or high school age.

[Fishlegs]

Ds1 (late August baby) has never been to school, for similar reasons. He's 8 this summer and probably going to start school in September. It's something he's keen to try, he's got a few schooled friends and he wants to see what it's all about.

He now reads fluently but only started to read about a year ago. I have checked the nc recently, and his maths is about where it should be, again we have only been vaguely structured on that in the last year or so (10 min a day). I would say to keep an eye on the nc, especially when your dc are nearing the age when you'd be thinking about school, but not to stress about it, and ignore it in the early years.

A few children we know have slotted into school from HE at various stages and been fine, so I'm not too worried about that transition. It's also good to know that there's a viable alternative if he isn't happy at school.


You're a teacher, won't that reassure dh (and any other critics)?! Certainly that seems to be a common question I am asked.

[Purplelooby]

This is all looking very positive - thank you so much! DS is very interested in reading and numbers at the moment (I think because it's a grown up thing) so I do think it'll happen heuristically to some extent... I guess I could let him decide if and when he goes to school. He already has a huge social network from Sure Start groups so he'll learn a lot about school from them.

[Saracen]

I agree with everyone else. It's perfectly feasible if only you can persuade your partner.

That was also my intention, to HE until the age of seven or so. But my girls are now 14 and 8 and they are so happy that I haven't ever found a good reason to send them to school!

My older daughter did try school briefly around the age of ten, out of curiosity. Adjusting to school ways was a doddle, and though we had done no formal learning at all, she didn't struggle academically. What she had learned didn't match onto the school curriculum exactly but actually her classmates' knowledge and skills were rather patchy too! It really isn't a big deal if they do have to play catch-up in one or two areas. Nobody in the class is going to have mastered precisely the same things anyway.

The one exception, I think, is reading. Reading and writing ability seem to be the litmus test of successful education at school. As they get older, schoolchildren are increasingly instructed and assessed through reading and writing. A seven year old HE child who hasn't yet got to grips with reading and writing can still get a perfectly good education and retain a strong sense of self-esteem at home, but chuck her into school unable to read and things could be very hard for her. This is why I discouraged my dd from trying school before she was a completely fluent reader.

If you need to send your son to school at seven then you might be wise to push the reading before then, whether he likes it or not. But if you have no such deadline and can be flexible about when he starts school, you could just wait and let him tackle reading and writing whenever he is interested. If he hasn't done it by seven then you could delay school until he's ready.

[Nigglenaggle]

'actually her classmates skills and knowledge were rather patchy too'. Since we started thinking about home educating I've been thinking a lot about my own school experience (which was fine as it goes and I was fairly successful academically). There were so many things on the curriculum that I did at a young age and learnt to finish enough exercises to get by, but for which the penny didn't drop until much much later. So much so that I wonder if this is broadly true, and that children in school are assumed to know about subjects they don't fully grasp, whereas when you home educate you have a clearer idea of what your child actually knows for sure....