Can we do it "alone"?

[Thinking2014]

So far I've only found some HEs online...and after receiving mixed opinions from friends regarding my decision to HE I wondered if it really is important to actually meet up with other HEs or is that just a bonus?

[lougle]

I don't think it's necessarily other HE families, but your child needs exposure to society. So if you feel that they get enough contact with others in their weekly activities, fine. If not, a group/one to one meet ups is one way of achieving that.

[AMumInScotland]

I'd agree - the impotant thing is for your child to have opportunities to mix with other children, ideally not with parents 'hovering' around too closely. If possible, find something they can do regularly with the same group of people, so they get practice at getting along with a range of personalities - things like brownies/cubs, a sports club, or music or drama. It doesn't matter what, but that practice at being 'part of something' outside of immediate family is important.

HE families are handy because they are usually also looking for something like that, but if it doesn't happen with them then that's fine.

[Thinking2014]

Thanks, I'll keep looking then but I guess in the meantime she can join up to a club or something :)

[bobbysgirlfirst]

Where do you live roughly? Perhaps we can help you find others local to you.

[Thinking2014]

That would be great! I'm in west London w3 area

[throckenholt]

We don't meet up with other HEs. We did go to a local(ish) group a few times when we started but we didn't feel very welcome (adults fine, kids very standoffish). Since it was 1/2 drive away we decided not to bother any more.

HE - definitely can do it on your own, or join in in online communities. Socialising - down to own personal preference and situation. It is often a major (maybe the major concern) for a lot of people. Just make sure you get enough to suit your DC.

[Thinking2014]

Thanks, were not big socially but for my DD I think joining a club may suit her with like minded children. We will see how we go :)

[AMumInScotland]

It's also good for them to get used to dealing with people who are not like-minded. That doesn't mean people she hates or fears, or people you have worries about, but one thing that school will absolutely guarantee is that children get a lot of practice at finding coping strategies for the times when people around them are quite different in outlook and behaviour, but you have to get on with them anyway.

Obviously that has its bad side if your child is bullied etc, but the normal 'rough and tumble' of life is an important experience which there can be a risk that HE misses out on, depending on how things work out for you and how much you are out and about in general.

[throckenholt]

Mine get that kind of experience from scouts ! One small group in particular seem to go through a ritual of asking the same questions each week (do you have a x, do you do y, etc, etc), ignore the answers and then repeat the same process next time. My boys are getting very bored with it and think the questioners are odd. By they are coping fine (just whinge about them each time they come back from scouts).

I think you can get that kind of experience in any group setting - bound to be people you don't particularly get on with, and often ones that actually annoy you.

[Thinking2014]

Thanks, lots of good points. I'm sure we can't keep her in a world where she only meets people she's likes! But that's fine, as you say, all part of life :)

[morethanpotatoprints]

My dd is looking forward to seeing her old school friend and going to the local youth club, she hasn't been or seen her friend in a while as she's been so busy. Everything recently has been with those who are into music.
I do think this is important and dd misses these things and is always glad to get back to what she calls normality.

Thinking

I think all socialising is good for H.ed dc, being with people they share an interest with is also important, a mix of both is good.