Rant

[LucyBucy]

Recently I decided to homeschool my daughters. I am fortunate that my DH and both our families are on side, my friends have been lovely and supportive but the teachers?!!! Their attitude has been APPALLING to say the least. DD1's headmistress put on a 'trying to understand' face while making underhand comments like 'perhaps she's unhappy because of problems at home' and 'we can't say for definite that she's unhappy because of school'. She scrabbled around for things that DD1 would miss out on and the best she could come up with was 'she won't be able to develop her debating skills'. Laughable, but she was so horrid and disbelieving of DD1's unhappiness (DD1 suffers from stiff-upper-lip and will only 'allow' herself to cry with me) I almost cried. I had wanted to keep her onside just in case we did decide to try again with school but her attitude put me right off.

Yesterday I told DD2's nursery teacher that we were homeschooling (I wouldn't have bothered as it's none of her business but DD2 is quite chatty and kept talking about it to her): she looked horrified and immediately said 'but what about their social life?' Now. I actually don't mind this question too much if it's said in a friendly enquiring 'I don't know anything about homeschooling' way. But when it's said with a look of horror, followed by 'and your two really need to be socialised' WTF??!!! I just swallowed my anger and said 'thank you but I have thought this through'. What I really wanted to do was to scream and shout at her.

THEN, I was collared by the head of the nursery at the door who obviously realised I wasn't going to change my mind (puts her ahead of the other two) but still wanted to impart her opinion (WHY?!). Her opinion: I should have put a stop to DD1's crying and anger about school; she would grow out of it; she would get used to school eventually; DD2 is very different to DD1 (really? So glad she told me); they would both miss out on social life at school; I am not a trained teacher so will not be able to teach them very well; she feels SO sorry for my DDs; BLAH BLAH BLAH.

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Got it off my chest. Thank you for reading.

[completelybonkers]

OMG! I don't blame you for wanting to get it off your chest and hope you feel better for having done so. Sometimes, some teachers think they can say anything they like, without regard for boundaries, professional good conduct or general good manners.

I too have very recently started HE with my DS2. So far, so good and we have ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS . . . except that we should have done it two years ago. At that time I lost faith in schools when the headmistress of a (ridiculously expensive) independent school he then attended, shredded me to pieces when I dared to ask why my son's basic educational needs were not being met: I was allowed a couple of minutes to speak at the beginning of the meeting and then had to sit in her lavish office for a further three-quarters of an hour whilst she "oh so politely" told me why my DS2 is the personality he is [my fault, apparently] and that, although we parents may think he is quite bright, he's actually just got a photographic memory; work we had done with him during the long Easter break counted for nothing and she even criticised us for encouraging him to take the healthy option of food at lunchtime. She referred to a life-threatening illness he had just finished treatment for, and claimed that "such (type of disease)-ic children can have such psychological problems". She leaned forward and asked, "Now tell me, does he still wet the bed?" [He was out of nappies by his second birthday as it happens.] And on and on and on. I felt sick for weeks afterwards . . . not least because we were paying her salary!

It was all beginning again at the next fee-paying school in a different area so here we are now happily doing our own thing.

Try not to allow these insensitive, puffed-up "professionals" get to you: they're not worth it. I feel sorry for the teachers out there who genuinely care and have children's best interests at heart but we know our own children better than anyone else and we need to follow our instincts.

Enjoy your HE journey with your girls and take delight in the thought that YOU now have control of the situation and do not need to answer to the individuals who treated you badly.

[HerrenaHarridan]

You should thank them all for reinforcing to you so vividly why you are not subjecting your children to being bent to their will!

Fucking shocking!

Congratulations on taking this step

[marjproops]

agree with herrena wish id taken the step years ago and wasnt subject to all the sh the 'heads' of schools and ed panels gave me.

thankfully we are under a new borough and theyrs MUCH more supportive with me HE. I WILL name and shame Surrey education people as they were appaling to us.

as for the 'social life' question...stuff them, nobody elses business.

you stick with it, its the best decision ive ever made for DC

[musicposy]

A little while before I took DD2 out of school, 3 separate children had been taken out of DD1's class (in the same school) due to bullying. DD1 was being horribly bullied by these few girls and the head was doing nothing whatsoever about it (hence 3 children having left - and it was a small class of only around 20).

I mentioned to the head that I was thinking of home educating, as I was so fed up with it all. She said "I've never been in a school where there is so much ridiculous notion of home educating as this one. I don;t hold with the silly idea at all - as if the parents are capable of doing it themselves! She needs to learn to get on with school and put up with it."

She did put up with it for quite some while, but that year was very damaging and it's taken her years to get her confidence back. Teachers, even headteachers, are not always right. They're there to defend the interests of their school, after all.

I've never forgotten those words. She was wrong. We were capable of doing it ourselves, and doing it better, and with happier children. Take no notice. As a teacher you have to tow the party line to a certain extent (been there). You'll be fine, and your children will be better out of it by the sound of it. Stick with it and don't be swayed or put off by the naysayers. :)