Your thoughts please ....

[Foreverweeding]

My DS is in reception and not 5 until end of July. He's at a "good" school (with waiting list) which is very hot on academic results. His teacher is lovely and he has been doing ok despite his being the youngest in the class. However ........ every day he cries because he doesn't want to go and every day we have a countdown to the weekend. He's 4 and already wishing his life away.

I've obviously spoken to his teacher who tells me he's fine whilst there, but as soon as I pick him up he's worrying about the next day. All evening he's talking about it, and despite gently probing there doesn't seem to be anything specifically, it's just school, and he says he misses me and he'd rather be at home. He's off sick at present with an eye infection but he hasn't stopped smiling because there's no school.

My biggest worry is year one as there is a huge leap. The new classroom looks completely different with barely any toys, with more structured seating and a definite "let's get down to some serious work" type atmosphere. I've voiced my concerns but have been told that he'll be fine.

I've home schooled my dd and wonder if we should be thinking along this route, or should I wait to see what year one brings. My instinct though tells me that it 'ain't gonna be good!

Any advice for me please? Thanks for reading!

[cathan]

It sounds as if he's struggling to cope. It can be very hard for summer born kids (my DD's birthday is at the end of July too) and that difficulty can continue for a long while. If you have already done some home-schooling then I would certainly think about this for him. Or you could see if the school was willing to allow some flexibility with him perhaps attending for a shorter day? My DD certainly had a rough time in the first few years and I now regret that I wasn't more pro-active to help her through it. Your DS will certainly find Y1 even harder since he's already struggling and I don't think it's likely to get easier for a while so you'd be well-advised to consider acting now. Hope this helps and good luck.

[Foreverweeding]

Thanks Cathan. This school is in no way flexible. It is as it is, like it or lump it basically. They aren't accommodating to a child's emotional needs and have only started really accepting SEN children because they have to (they used to sneakily point parents in the direction of another nearby school - yes, really), and so that would be a no go. I will seriously have to think things through. DH is supportive whatever and I'm a SAHM so no problems there.

Food for thought!

[weirdthing]

I think there's a big jump from reception to yr 1. It starts to be all 'sit down and be quiet'. That's when I took DS1 out of school.

[LucyBucy]

Hi, I had exactly the same situation with my DD. I held out until the end of Y1 until I thought 'enough is enough'. DD is thrilled to bits that she is going to be home schooled! I wish I'd done it sooner TBH...

[Foreverweeding]

Certainly having my doubts that year 1 will suit him as it certainly is a lot more pressure for the kids and a lot less play based (at least at this school). I am absolutely 100 per cent certain that if I gave him the choice he would literally jump at home ed. He is in a large class (full capacity) with a few kids who have behavioural difficulties. He has changed somewhat (in a negative way) and feel sad that school seems to be having such a negative impact on him.

All the advances he's made educationally have been achieved whilst at home ill. For example, after a week off with chicken pox and once he had started feeling better in himself we practised his reading and completed a lot of writing practise (he wanted to do it), and and when he returned to school he immediately moved up a book band and had another ten words ticked off his list. A school the progression is a lot more slow, although I also realise that at school they have to fit in other activities such as PE, crafts, and assemblies etc.

He just seems so very young to be thinking about year 1 and he is still 4 and the youngest in his class, bless him. Life is far too short IMO.

[chocolatecrispies]

What is the worst thing that can happen if you take him out of school? If it doesn't work out school is always there. But if you don't then you will never know if he might have benefited from being home educated. My son used to do the countdown when he went to preschool. We stuck it out a year and then started to home educate - it has been fantastic for him, he is so much happier and tells me frequently that he is happier at home with me. I always think that this is one source of unhappiness that a parent really can change for a child - in the future there will be many things I cannot change but this one thing I can do, and it might make all the difference.

[birdseed]

Could it be that he finds the structure/ free play environment of reception difficult in a busy class and might find the more structured year one easier? I think that for some children this is the case. I know some people have posted on mumsnet about this and having helped in reception class a little I can see why that might be as there isn't much teacher input per child over a morning, although they do try.

I too am at the end of reception with a july born DS and wondering what to do. I think that I am going to give it a go next term and then home school if it doesn't work. But mine isn't as unhappy as yours and has just made a couple of friends.

I hope that you manage to find something that works for you both.

[Foreverweeding]

Thank you all for your thoughts. We are quite simply relieved to be approaching the holidays when we shall be able to relax and enjoy the freedom that being away from school brings.

We shall certainly have some decisions to make but as you say Chocolate, if we pull him out he can always go back at a later date if it doesn't suit or he chooses to try again when a little older. No decision has to be set in stone.