I went back after 9 months off too with ds1. I went back full time as head of maths!
The nursery fees business struck me as annoying before I started back, but now I find it wonderful. Ds1 has always been in nursery during the majority of the holidays - I do quite a bit of work during the hols, so I'll put aside a couple of days for that (that's when I do the larger developmental tasks that just don't get done usually). I also take a few days to myself. I did feel guilty at first, but mandy27 is right - you don't take breaks while you're at work, so I see my holiday days with ds1 in nursery as my lunch breaks! And I also take ds1 out on day trips, visiting friends, or just going to the park, library, swimming.
As I was already quite experienced I had got past the stage where I had to work at home every night (I only did that the first 2 years, and then realised I needed a life!). But I did find after going back to work that instead of the old 7 am - 6pm day, I moved to 7 am - 4 pm in school, and then an hour or so in the evening after ds1 had gone to bed*. And then I would work on Sunday evening - I think that's just inescapable!
Remember the workload agreement - lots will have changed in the 9 months you've been out, so learn to say no, and ask whether someone else could do something. It took me ages to get used to having an admin assistant in the department - I used to say "oh, cutting out this matching exercise is a long and tedious job, I won't inflict that on the admin assistant, I'll just do it myself tonight." It is so ingrained in us, but especially as a Mum you've just got to get out of it!
I had a wonderful term the first term I went back after my first maternity leave. Unfortunately I then had a very bad time personally, I had a mc which I couldn't really cope with emotionally, and so found my next pregnancy very difficult. Consequently the job just got too much for me and I am now about to start as a Teaching and Learning Consultant for the LEA on 3 days a week instead!
- PS, on the bed thing, get baby into a rigid bedtime regime. Ds1 took to a 6pm bedtime with no problem. Ds2 (now 3 months) has been more difficult and we've had a lot of him screaming and evenings spent in his bedroom in the dark calming him and helping him to learn to sleep, but we now have him going down like clockwork at 7pm and it is invaluable. I have heard people who say "I keep my baby up til 8 because my husband doesn't get in from work until 7:30, and doesn't want to miss out." I hate this, the baby desperately needs to sleep, and a teacher needs an evening! So I told dp that if he wanted to see the children in the evening then he has to get home earlier. From being a man who "had" to work till 9 or 10 every night he now gets home for bath time virtually every night!