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Please help sick with worry over jobs and DS care

9 replies

mummyfirsttime · 02/09/2014 10:58

I really need a bit of help here as I feel like I am drowning. I have a job at the moment which is working from home days per week I earn around £12K per year and my DS goes to grandparents for the 2 days im working its flexible and I can drop him off and pick him up at reasonable times.

I have been offered a role for around £52K working 35 hours over 4 days which will mean 2 full days 8-6 nursery and 2 full days at grandparents. I need to start this role immediately so DS will have to start nursery this week and DP will have to do the settling in sessions.

I really don't know what I want back to a great career but giving up the most precious time with my baby or stick with what I have got, the thing is we need to move in the next year for school catchment areas and this new job would help fund that but the thought of leaving my boy is making me teary every second I think about it and extremely sick.

Will we cope will he feel abandoned that mummy is not here and daddy is leaving him with strangers.

Please help...

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ConfidentEmma · 02/09/2014 22:53

Hi, would you consider having a careers coaching session? I'd like to offer you a free session. Btw, no advice is given during a coaching sessions, coaching is a conversation with questions aimed at helping you figure out the answers for yourself. If you would like to know more, feel free to ask - nothing to lose :)

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PartyFops · 02/09/2014 22:57

How old is your DS OP?

And anyway, 2 full days at nursery is nothing as long as it's a good nursery. Then he will love 2 days with his GPs.

My daughter went 2.5 days at nursery and I think she preferred to be there than at home with me sometimes Grin.

Congrats btw

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Gennz · 03/09/2014 01:23

How old is your DS? Would you find the job rewarding?

I'd jump at it.

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ALessThanGlitteringCareer · 04/09/2014 09:53

£52k for four days a week is amazing, you know that.

Would shorter days at nursery with your grandparents doing pick-up/drop-off, and a nanny on the other two days, make you more comfortable. More home environment time, and also more flexibiity for illness/you getting delayed at work etc.

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LapsedTwentysomething · 05/09/2014 17:56

I have just started a FT role paying less than the job you've been offered but enough to make us financially secure. I'm struggling with it for the reasons you describe and wish I hadn't left my PT job now. I think I will be leaving by Christmas.

Turns out my employer is family unfriendly and I can't stay in a job where I'm miserable even if my kids do have more security.

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LapsedTwentysomething · 05/09/2014 17:56

On a more positive note, could you look for something in the middle ground?

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CMOTDibbler · 05/09/2014 17:59

He'll be fine, you'll settle into that. 2 days at nursery and 2 days with his grandparents sounds like a lovely arrangement tbh.

My ds did 8-5.30 at nursery from 4.5 months - 4 years when he started school with wrap around care. Hes a lovely, affectionate, well adjusted child

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Supermum222 · 06/09/2014 07:04

Gosh, £52K...take it! Your little one will be fine and it is still only 4 days a week. Will you be working weekends as that will make a difference esp when lo is of school age. But, £52K! Wow. Take it. If grandparents have him 2 days at least you know he will be out and about too.
My children are 10 and 6 now. Both have been through nursery/childminder years so I know what your worries are. If I could go back, and was in your shoes, I would take the £52K job!

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mummyfirsttime · 10/09/2014 13:47

Hi Everyone, thank you for your replies. Well I stuck with my part time role. I couldn't bare leaving him at 7:30 and not seeing him again until 6 due to compressed working hours. I was being forced into making a decision and starting at short notice with no nursery in place and my DP having to find one and do settling in period with DS.

Gosh what an opportunity I have just turned down but the prospect of not having this time forever with my DS has made the time now more precious.

I would have jumped at it if it was 9 - 5 4 days and I had a few weeks notice but that was not an option. Im still looking for that perfect job something that fits with my family life but gives me some satisfaction. Im in this situation due to being made redundant just as I was returning from maternity leave to my long term career and I am finding it extremely hard to adjust but that's a different story.

Thank you again for your input! x

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