parents who work FT how do you ensure 'quality' family time?

[PumpkinPie2013]

I'm back at work full time in two weeks and DH also works full time.

DS is 8 months and will go to full time nursery

We work 8.30am to 4.30pm each day so will leave the house at 7.45am and get home with ds around 5.15pm. We have weekends off and school holidays.

DS goes to bed between 6.30pm and 7 pm.

I want to make sure that the time we have with ds is 'quality' time and not solely catching up with household chores (though obviously we have to do some housework!)

So lovely mumsnetters can you share your best tips please?

I'm hoping to stock the freezer and do some batch cooking before I go back which should help.

[JacktheLab]

I work ft so we try to use our weekends for family stuff as much as possible and not be overly concerned about housework

Can you afford a cleaner?

I also batch cook on a Sunday night so dinner on week nights is as quick as possible

You'll manage I promise

[Panzee]

I like the mornings before I go to work, I make sure I'm all ready to go before I get the kids ready. It's a nice time for us, not too stressed, and they're not too tired then!

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

We pick dd up from the CMs about five, home for half past.

The time til her bedtime is spent playing a game, bath, milk and stories. We do no housework. Whoever does bath the other preps our tea (dd has her tea at the cms). We eat after she is in bed at seven. Quick once over in the kitchen and a straighten of the living room after dinner. Showers for us then bed.

Laundry is just shoved in as and when - no real "chore time" set aside. Beds changed if I go to get in it and think it must need doing. We do a deep clean if we know we are having visitors everyhing else is just Tidy as we Go.

[TigerFeet]

I'm going to lurk and get some advice, made redundant from PT job last month and starting new FT job in a couple of weeks. I have worked FT when dd1 was younger, but can't remember much about how I coped - probably means I lived in a pit and blocked it out

Now I have two children, a bigger house with bigger garden, a dh with mild CFS and a busy job that takes him away a lot. This will be, well, interesting...

Advice I've had so far - lower your standards, batch cook things like bolognese and stews so that you can freeze some and defrost on days you really cba to cook, get a cleaner and/or ironing service if you can, my dc's will eat their evening meal at the CM's so we can have an hour or two at home with them before bed and then DH and I will eat.

Good luck OP, you'll be fine, you'll find a routine that works for you after a week or two.

[SaBearOz]

I returned to work 2 months ago when Dd was 8 months and I have a 2 yo DS who both attend nursery. DH does drop off in the mornings as I am out of the house at 7am and I do pick up at about 5pm. Morning is spent getting myself up and dressed then the kids with throwing some washing into the machine. Evenings are filled with snack time, downtime of stories or TV and cuddles, bath time and then bed between 7-7:30. We slow cook quite a bit and at worst don't start preparing dinner until kids are in bed as DH doesn't tend to get home til 8. Can't afford a cleaner so clean kitchen as we go, found a place for everything before I returned to work and spend their nap times over the weekend to do housework. Thankfully DS loves to do housework so vacuuming is done as a game as is dusting. House not spotless and I don't get very much me time but I know it's not forever and my time with kids is to precious to worry about dust (although I dread people dropping over unannounced)

[Hadeda]

I work full time, though my DDs are older than yours (4 and 5).
During term time one of us drops the DDs at school at 8am, in the holidays our nanny starts at 8am. DH is home between 6:30 and 7pm. I'm usually home later, sometimes much later (solicitor in the city - antisocial hours).

I agree with lower your standards. If you can't lower them you have to get help - cleaner, ironing service, whatever. We have a cleaner.

Batch cooking is a huge help. Also find stuff that's quick and easy to cook. DH is a whizz with bangers and peas, pork chops and peas, gammon and peas... And the occasional ready meal/take away never killed anyone.

Always pack stuff the night before - yours and the DCs.

Automate as much as you can so you don't spend the weekends on admin. We have milk delivered at home, and you can top up with small essentials like bread (if you remember before 9pm). Online shopping is also great. Now the DDs are at school their newsletters etc are emailed which is really useful. I often use the train journey to/from work for all the home admin - emailing friends to arrange playdates, booking into swimming lessons etc.

It's useful to have a whiteboard/similar up somewhere to write down those things you will forget - from food as you run out of it to extra things the DDs need for school that week.

It helps to learn to shut stuff off in your head - so when you're working you work and when you're at home you turn work off. Took me ages to learn to do that, and the constant blackberry access didn't help. But when I am with the DDs now on week nights, I am 100% focused on reading stories, taking to them etc.

Every so often things will run off the rails - sick child keeping you up all night when you have lots of deadlines etc. When that happens and you are feeling at the end of your tether, take time to be kind to yourself. Even if it's just a lie in one Saturday morning or taking a few hours to read your book in a coffee shop.

DO NOT VOLUNTEER TO BE CLASS REP!! That is my massive learning curve from this past year. By all means sign up to help at an event or two but having the responsibility all year is hectic.

Make space for you and your DH too. When our DDs were little and quite frankly neither of us felt like tarting up and going out, one of us would cook on a Friday or Saturday night and make something special/different and we'd eat at the table, no TV allowed. And yes, it was often interrupted with trying to get one of the DDs to sleep etc but it was a good way for us to unwind together.

It is so much easier now my DDs are older, I'll be honest. And although it is pretty full on, I actually quite enjoy working full time. You do land up having to be super organised, but perhaps that's not a bad thing!

[PumpkinPie2013]

Thanks for the replies and advice

I use an ironing service which helps a lot and will look into getting a cleaner even if it's only once a fortnight.

I'm going to do online shopping - never really got into it but it will save time as I can order in my lunch break

We plan to use weekends as our main family time so will do housework once ds is in bed but will have to lower the standards!

I'll do some batch cooking as well and stock the freezer.

Hopefully we'll get used to it pretty quickly!

[smearedinfood]

Cleaner, Online food shop, meal plan and really good box set we did only one social activity a weekend as I wanted one day of chill time.