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Making it work financially

39 replies

Knackeredmum13 · 20/06/2014 23:06

I'm about to start back to work after mat leave. Ive had my request to work less days turned down but as a compromise have been offered shorter days. The downside of this is that I will still have to pay for full time childcare whilst only earning part time wages.

I'm looking at the figures and trying to justify it to myself. I do want to return to work but once I've paid for childcare, travel etc there won't be much left. I've a long commute so life will be a bit of a stressful rush mon-fri and even with shorter hours I won't get much time with my child. I'm beginning to wonder whether its worth going back but then that's my career down the drain.

Has anybody else been in the same boat? If so, what did you decide to do?

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bearwithspecs · 20/06/2014 23:23

I had this dilemma for past 3.5 years with 2 DC. I ended up playing the long game and staying FT. Now DC1 is in reception and DC2 going to school nursery I may go term time only. Private nursery fees are the issue - no flexibility and you end up paying for full days even if you finish at 2 pm ... It's a nightmare. At the mo I pay for DC2 to attend a full day on a Friday although he is collected at 1.30 - afternoons start at 1 pm

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bearwithspecs · 20/06/2014 23:26

And once DC1 started school nursery it was term time with optional hol club. If I took days off I saved on DC1 but still had to pay for DC2 at private nursery. It's crap

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Figster · 20/06/2014 23:27

Op that does sound awkward could you look for a new job?

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Knackeredmum13 · 21/06/2014 07:54

Unfortunately I'd be unlikely to find a part time job so I am a bit at the mercy of my employers. They are trying to compromise but it's just very tricky. I'm not allowed anything like a blackberry so that I can work from home either.

DH is saying I should just quit and stay at home.

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TiredFeet · 21/06/2014 08:00

Any chance for your dh to do compressed hours or similar? My dh works at weekends and takes a week day off and that's what will make my work pay now we've got 2 really.

Would your work agree to you doing 4 full days and a half day? Then you might be able to feel the benefit a bit more?

Alternatively could you change career direction a bit to find something that suits you better? I'm not doing what I originally planned but its family friendly and I really enjoy it

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MadonnaKebab · 21/06/2014 08:10

In my observation, the substantial part-time employee also ends up with a basically full -time workload , as well as as you say full time childcare fees and travel costs , all for a part-time wage and also the perception that you are no longer interested in promotion etc
I would also play the long game
Can DH work a day from home?
Can you use annual leave one day a week for the first few months, or could he?
Remember the full time salary can also buy more family time by paying for a cleaner etc

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s88 · 21/06/2014 08:19

I also had this issue so I changed jobs and I work evenings 5-10 and every other weekend 9-6 . that's 18 hours a week over the month . It most likely equates to the same I would get working full time and paying for childcare (around £500pm)

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OneLittleToddleTerror · 21/06/2014 08:26

I our vid would suggest looking at the long game too. It might be undesirable now but what about when your children are school age? As for looking for work closer to home. That's still not off the cards isn't it? Remember it is easier to find work when you have a job.

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SanityClause · 21/06/2014 08:37

You need to discuss this with DH. It might seem like you are going to work for not much money, but in fact, the childcare cost is a joint cost.

Giving up work now could mean less money into the future. Once you have been out of work for a few years, your employability drops. As it is, mothers are often sidelined in the workplace. But Britain isnt a sexist country, oh no! How dare the UN suggest such a thing! It will also make you financially dependent on another person. Do you want that? Would your DH (honestly) be happy if he was financially dependent on you?

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mylittlemonkey · 21/06/2014 08:48

Having found out unexpectedly that we are now having dc3 I am also looking at bringing back next to nothing when I go back to work. I took a huge pay cut and changed jobs to get a better work/ life balance, which was fine when we only had two and one starting school soon, but after dc3 childcare fees will take pretty much take all my wages.

I have not even considered giving up my job because 1) it is with a good employer that will allow me some flexibility when I need it 2) is a good job with reasonable and fair management and most of the time I stay within the hours I am supposed to work 3) the dcs are happy at the nursery they are at and so the current the situation works for us at the moment.

I am therefore playing the long game to keep my job basically as I know I would really struggle to get another esp if I had been out of work for a few years and would probably end up in a job I hated with no flexibility and no work life balance. I have been there before and know how Miserable it is.

If you have a good job you are happy with them I would suggest keeping it as childcare will only be for a few more years.

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VeryThelma · 21/06/2014 08:54

I spent way too long in a job because I thought there would be no part time jobs. My employer went bust and I found a better part time job in a week!

I called a contact rather than looking in the job ads so this might be worth thinking about sending out your cv speculatively? I worked for a smaller firm who didn't want to pay for my expertise 5 days a week. They are expanding and I am lucky that I have increased to 4 days from 3 now my DC are a bit older.

So investigate new jobs but get a great cv put it on linkedin and send off a covering letter about pay time opportunities maybe??

Good luck its hard juggling things but there are other jobs out there

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Knackeredmum13 · 21/06/2014 09:46

It definitely wouldn't be possible to find another part time job with what I do. They don't exist. Changing jobs would be difficult too as my job is specialised and I'm not sure what else I could do. Don't want to give too many details in case in recognised.

I know that childcare is a joint cost but we currently already live solely in DHs wages. Add mine to the pot and then subtract childcare and other costs and it's only adding a few hundred a month to our funds. Which is obviously helpful but it does seem like a lot of stress for not much money.

Those who said its about the long game are right though. Once childcare costs drop down it will be worth having held on to my job.

I just need to make some financial decisions. Would one afternoon a week with my baby be enough to make me feel less like I never see her.

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Pastperfect · 21/06/2014 09:46

It depends very much on your career, likely progression and your own ambition.

I played the long game, spending pretty much all my salary on private nursery for two DC for a couple of years whilst juggling the stress of a "part time" role (which was basically a full time job for part time salary with the smallest degree of flexibility).

I now work FT, still spending a significant amount on a nanny (although my salary has increased at a far greater rate than my childcare costs) but in the knowledge that in the not too distant future the intensive, expensive childcare that we currently have will be unnecessary.

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LinesThatICouldntChange · 21/06/2014 11:42

Another one here who played the long game. I don't think there is any simple solution tbh... You either tough it out and accept that it feels like a grind at times when you're working hard, also parenting young children and not really being better off than if you stayed at home. But then on the other hand it could be equally (or more) frustrating to give up your career and maybe struggle for years to get back into it later.

My children are now grown up (so expensive in other ways with Uni etc) but DH and I are each in quite senior positions earning good money. There isn't a simple answer to your dilemma but fwiw I don't have any regrets because I don't think if I'd given up work I could have lost confidence and struggled to get back in

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LinesThatICouldntChange · 21/06/2014 11:43

What I meant was : I do think if I'd given up work I'd have struggled to get back in

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bronya · 21/06/2014 12:13

Do all the figures, write down a list of pros and cons, and agree a time with yourself when you will review how things are going - six months, or a year, or... I went back for a year, kept thinking things would get better but it was just a nightmare - never being able to make anyone really happy - job, baby, husband, pets, myself. I'm really glad I tried it though. I know what it's like, I know it's not for my family, and I'm not be left wondering, 'what if...'.

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MadonnaKebab · 22/06/2014 05:24

Imagine if you could get an insurance policy

That would ensure your family would be financially OK if DH was made redundant/was unable to work due to accident, sickness, mental health issues/ left you for another woman/ died

Imagine what you'd pay for a policy that covered all that, if you could get one

That's what I believe having a 2nd career in the family is worth in purely financial terms, on top of any net income after childcare

As well as the psychological benefits of a satisfying career for you, DH not having to worry about being solely responsible for paying the mortgage & bills and a good example to DC

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Knackeredmum13 · 22/06/2014 11:46

Madonnakebab you are absolutely right which is why I will be going back in some guise.

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museumum · 22/06/2014 12:08

How long are your short days? I pick my ds up at nursery at 4 and we go for a walk or to the park before dinner. I don't feel like I never see him. I know it won't be quite the same I. Winter but right now I'm really enjoying my hours.

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Knackeredmum13 · 22/06/2014 12:22

I wouldn't be able to pick up until 5.15 once I'd factored in travel.

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wafflyversatile · 22/06/2014 12:33

If you are having to pay full-time childcare is it not better to go back full time and get full pay? If you go back on shorter days you will get less pay but probably have exactly the same workload (unless it's on a till in a shop or similar)

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Knackeredmum13 · 22/06/2014 13:43

I wouldn't see my baby mon-fri though. I'm figuring that I will regret that more than I regret working for less pay ?

I do realise that I'm incredibly fortunate to be in this position with these choices.

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MadonnaKebab · 22/06/2014 14:39

Sure you'd see your baby
Every single morning
For all the wakes during the night
For bath time & bedtime if you can adjust timings to make it work
Not to mention all weekend, every public holiday, annual leave, family leave , sick leave etc

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Knackeredmum13 · 22/06/2014 14:47

We'd have to leave so early in the morning that I wouldn't count it as time together. We will be rushing to get dressed and out of the house.

To get back home in time for pickup I'd still have to leave work early and we would be home just in time for bath and bed. So not really quality time .

I can't count night wakings or sick leave as time together but I get your point about weekends.

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Knackeredmum13 · 22/06/2014 14:50

Sorry I should have made it clear that I'm talking about working my normal full time hours when I say I wouldn't see my baby mon-fri. Not the shorter hours I've been offered.

My usual hours mean I don't get home until 7.30pm each night and would leave home just after 7am.

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