Anyone gone back to work after 3 months or less?

(11 Posts)
firstimer30s Fri 13-Dec-13 19:04:20

I love my job, need the money and have a fairly flexible role (work from home 3-2 days per week, then have 2 very long days of travel per week)
Also, started when 3 months pg and can't really leave for too long.

But am being made to feel by most mums that I am a nut job for considering only taking 3 months off.
Anyone done this and has it worked? Or are there serious issues I should consider?

missmargot Fri 13-Dec-13 19:12:23

No advice as I'm not there yet, but I will be going back to work in a similar timescale after our baby is born next year. In fact I will be going back sooner as I will be doing a few hours from home here and there as soon as I possibly can.

It isn't ideal but I'm self employed and to keep my business going I can't take a huge amount of time off. I will work remotely and flexibly and DH is changing his hours so he can be at home when I need to work. You do what you have to do and make it work the best you can.

ajandjjmum Fri 13-Dec-13 19:18:53

DH and I run our business, and I was back well within three months of the birth of both children, but with the flexibility that I could disappear to doctors etc. if necessary.

We also had a wonderful support system - not only paid help, but parents and aunts - we were very lucky.

NatashaBee Fri 13-Dec-13 19:19:51

Yes, it's standard in the US where I live. In fact a lot of people don't even get offered 3 months, or can't afford to take it. Everybody survives and their kids are not scarred for life. I was pretty sleep deprived and probably wasn't much use to my employer, but DS was fine. It was very easy to get him settled in at nursery, I imagine it would have been a lot tougher when he was older and started to get to a stage where he would have had separation anxiety. As it is, the nursery staff are great, and he is very familiar with them all as he's known them all for so long.

If DH hadn't shared everything equally, though - taking time off when DS was sick, and doing the night feeds, I wouldn't have managed. I also expressed/FF, you would need to think through the logistics if you were planning to breastfeed to make sure your supply didn't suffer, at 3 months post birth you may need to pump to keep it up on those long days you mentioned.

Juliet123456 Fri 13-Dec-13 19:37:35

Much quicker than that. Worked very well. Don't let the other mothers you mention get to you. There are lots of good reasons to go back early not least the money and also ensuring equality at home and the baby getting used to whoever will look after it whilst you and its father work. It can work very well.
I took a battery breastpump to work and expressed in the loos and kept that cool and then the baby drank it next day whilst I was out (worked full time). She carried on breastfeeding in the evenings and a few times at night and first thing and all weekends. It worked very well.

I think some women think it is so much not the thing to do to go back quickly they don't talk much about it but there are a lot of out there and it's all fine.

janey68 Sat 14-Dec-13 10:18:03

Yes, I did because I had my babies when paid ML was just 12 weeks. Most of my friends who had babies around the same time did the same as me.

The downsides IMO are tiredness: I think physically its hard to go back earlier because your baby may not be sleeping through, bf can still be very full on and you'll need to make arrangements to express milk.

IMO there are a number of advantages though. Most importantly your baby will quickly slip into the routine, there is none of the separation anxiety at starting in childcare which can happen if you start leaving them at around a year old. Also, you won't have been out of the workplace long enough to feel out of the loop. I know a lot women now who take a year off and they often say they've got into a totally new rhythm of life at home and its more of a shock to the system to then step back into work mode

You will be fine, so will your baby, but I'd recommend having systems in place to help you with organisation. Get everything ready for work the night before. Have a routine for expressing and storing milk if you bf. Go to bed really early for a while to ensure you're getting rest especially if you're still doing night feeds. I'll be honest: I found it a bit of a killer if my dc woke up needing a night feed, and then I'd be doing another very early (5am) bf before getting up for work. That was physically draining. But that period doesn't last long, and tbh once you've coped with that, the whole working mum thing seems a relative breeze. There's none of the agonising about how to return to work after a longer time off.

Good luck- like I say, the main thing is to really take care of yourself and get plenty of rest

Juliet123456 Sat 14-Dec-13 15:36:58

Good advice here and the most important advice is ensure your partner does 50% at home, not "helping you" or only doing what you ask but half. For example he did 100% of the washing so I did not even need to think about washing. I did other things. Just divided it up fairly. One of you can get home first one night and the other rushes home the next.

firstimer30s Sat 14-Dec-13 20:39:42

Thanks for all the responses - really appreciated.
It is so good to know there are others out there who have done this and that it is doable!
My dh is very supportive and does a lot around the house so I have a good chance of making it work. NatashaBee, I know you guys in the States have a lot less mat leave than us - I keep forgetting but it does put it into perspective here.
I think I need to get over others' judgement - I assume that comes with the general territory of having kids! :-)

Kelly1814 Sun 15-Dec-13 19:57:07

I live in a country where maternity leave is 45 days.

The uk is unbelievably generous.

3 months is not that uncommon outside the uk...

Mary2010xx Sun 15-Dec-13 20:06:41

Don't worry about other people's judgments at all. Those of us who return early if we wanted to could make similar type comments against those taking loads of leave but we don't need. People should just mind their own business. You could list a lot of advantages to families and children and relationships which arise from going back early. Yet people just like to go on about supposed negatives.

firstimer30s Mon 16-Dec-13 18:17:04

Very true!

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