Indulgent moan about going back to work

[Beccarollover]

DS and DD have first visit to new nursery tomorrow in preperation for me going back to work in less than 2 weeks - its just dawned on me how much I dont want to go Unfortunately, at the moment anyway there is nothing I can do

Positive, "you'll be fine" words required please!

DS is 4yo - Im worried another upheaval will tip her over the edge (have had hard time with her since DS arrival and starting nursery school) and DS (6m) is still so young He is my gorgeous lovely baby and I want it to be ME cuddling him and smelling him and making him giggle

sigh

Im being a tit, sorry

[popsycal]

oh becca
As you know I don't have any constructive advice but honestly, they will love it!

DS LOVES going to the childminders and am I veyr lucky if a get a 'ta!' (bye) and a cursery wave. HE loves the company of other children and all the activities that he does.

they will love it!!!

[Beccarollover]

I have different concerns for both of them and also for me!

Harvey will be FINE - he probably wont notice Im gone as he goes to anyone no problem at all as long as there is food and a bed to sleep in he will be great.

Meg might be very clingy and upset with the change as I said before she hasnt coped well with the big changes in her life recently.

More than anything I just dont want to go back to work as I love being a SAHM to 2 more than I ever thought I would

On top of that, not feeling particularly confident in my ability to go back - nervous as its a new job and not sure what they are expecting (are they prepared for baby brain!)

Thanks for your words tho, I know its hard for all of us

[twiglett]

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[handlemecarefully]

Well my experience was different. I was tearful and anxious for the first couple of days missing my dd who was then 6 months, and she took about a week and a half to settle. So in summary the first couple of weeks wasn't pleasant. However, after that it has been a doddle - and its nice to get a break from motherhood.

So you might find it tough initially, but very soon you and they will adjust, and quite likely will be happy with the situation.

[bundle]

for me the anticipation was much worse than the actual experience of returning to work after no.2. now dd1 (10 mths) is a bit clingy, so I'm glad I got her settled in nursery at 7 mths. and she & dd1 see each other lots during the day so that's good too. in fact I didn't see dd1 last night (got home late from work) NOR this morning as I'm back in early...oh god, what a badmother

[katierocket]

oh becca you are not being a tit you are being a normal mother. I don't think ANY mother returns to work without feeling like you do. EVerything will be fine.

twiglett is right.

[Beccarollover]

Thanks everyone

The kids had their first visit to the new nursery yesterday, which went well - they are going back to do and I'll be leaving them for a couple of hours.

I think its because Im starting a new job as well as going back after baby that is making me feel so unsettled - I dont even know what to expect so cant really prepare in my mind IYSWIM

[katierocket]

starting a new job is pretty horrid because of all the uncertainties. What are you going back to do? are you going back P/T or F/T?

[Beccarollover]

Im going back part time (3 days a week) I will be doing IT Consultancy - its made doubly unnerving because my previous job was with family business so all very cosy and familiar so this is the first job I have had to "go it alone" and do!

[Edith]

Oh becca

I'm going back to work f/t in 3 weeks.

Took my son (6 mths) to nursery for settling in.

I was terrified-he won't sleep unless taken for a long walk, cries whenever I leave the room (not meant to happen til 8 months surely). My real fear was that they would call me and ask me to collect him as he was too much of a challenge. And if they had I would probably have been very relieved.

Left him 1 1/2 hours (as long as I could stand). When I got back he was happily having food shoveled into his mouth. Saw me, started crying. He'd even slept!

They did have problems with our funny resuable nappies though-I got told off.

I really think you're probably going to be fine. If we are, anyone will be.

[squirmyworm]

just wanted to wish you all the best for the new job, Becca, and all the best edith for your return to work. I'm going back to a new job in 4 weeks so know how you feel Becca - you can't plan in little comforting thoughts about how you'll cope because it's a blank canvas. I'm sure you'll be fine - thinking of you anyway as my own dday draws inexorably nearer!

edith - oh dear re the nappies - what was the problem? We use resuables and I wouldn't want to swap to disps unless we have to...

[Evita]

Becca, you'll be fine, and so will they. And it's only 3 days so not too bad. I work 2 days but dp looks after dd. Nevertheless I found it extremely upsetting to go off and leave her even for 2 days when she was only 7 months. She's going to go to nursery too and I'll probably be as much of a gibbering wreck as you feel right now!