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Advice needed -Childminder versus Nanny:?

2 replies

Emmalou · 12/02/2004 09:17

Hi everyone, I've posted a few notes about finding a nanny - thanks for all your help but my situation is getting more complex and I need some advice! My 2 dd's are currently with a local childminder who is brilliant - well known and respected in our community and just great with the children. There's only one problem, her little boy (4) is a quiet, angry boy who is hitting and kicking my 4 yr old (I know because she tells me and I trust her). When I approach my childminder about it she says that it's my dd who is being aggressive and her boy never does anything. My dd is a lively child who is very playful but a strong character and won't take any
s**t. I know for sure that she would thump someone who provoked her! I obviously tell her that this isn't the right way to behave and she knows it too, I think being 4 she still can't help herself sometimes. But I have never, ever seen her intentionally hurt someone. My childminder's boy, on the other hand, often hits out at other children and in fact he pushed my dd (16 m) down the stairs yesterday. My childminder pretended not to notice. In EVERY other respect she is brilliant but she won't open up about this one. She admits to struggling with my 4 yr old,
keeping her occupied and dealing with her strong will but is really perservering. I have been looking into getting a nanny and am interviewing at the moment. This could be the solution but the problem I have is that both my children LOVE going to the childminders. There are lots of children coming and going all day and my 4 yr old gets on particularly well with my childminder's 6 yr old dd. They all go to the same and pre-school. What should I do ? I am worried about my 4 yr old's self esteem being attacked on a regular basis (although she doesn't seem bothered), she is definately being pegged as the "difficult" child, which she can be at times but labelling her isn't going to help. And it does make me question my childminder. If I pull out I feel I will be singled out in the community as she has a waiting list of children. Any advice please ???? Sorry, this is a long one.

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twiglett · 12/02/2004 09:24

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Emmalou · 12/02/2004 10:41

Thanks for the advice, Twiglett, I think I will need to have a serious talk with her. It's very possible that my daughter is provoking the little boy, she's got such a strong character. What bothers me though is that I feel I'm being honest saying these 2 seem to have a clash and are hurting each other and she completely denies that her little boy EVER hurts any of the children and I've seen him do it!!!! Sorry, just venting.

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