Extremely anxious and nervous about going back to work

[MrsP23]

I'm sitting here wide awake watching hubby and dd sleep while I cry and fret over returning to work in 3 weeks time.

Basically I have watched and cared for my daughter every single day of her life (she's 9 months). I am so wary of leaving her with others but have started over past two weeks or so letting her go with other relatives for a while during the day. She has been fine and at the time I felt relieved that I knew she would be ok but then I get these stupid panic attacks at stupid o clock in the morning where I just cannot bear the thought of going back and leaving her.

Sorry for the rant but feel like I'm going crazy. Other relatives who will be watching her take no notice of what I say/want them to do with dd and I feel totally undermined.

Hubby thinks I stress/worry too much but I just shrug the feelings off x x

[TanteRose]

{{hugs}}

she WILL be fine - but it is not nice for you to feel undermined.

is it only relatives who will be looking after her?

a professional childminder/nursery will be more inclined to do as you ask, so could you look into that option?

[MrsP23]

Thanks for replying.

I no I'm overacting and once I'm back at work ill probably be pleased for the time to myself but still dreading it.

Yeah it will be relatives watching her. We tried to get her into a nursery near to us but they have no availability until she is 1 year old x x

[Lonelybunny]

Mrsp23 I am feeling the same way , I too have 3 weeks left and I was also crying in the middle of night really upset about going back , I'm going reduced hours too and so I'm worried about the money and my work place have also said they can't guarantee the work ! Great just add to my problems . I'm so close to ringing them and saying I'm not coming back but we can't afford it it's just not possible .

[MrsP23]

Hi lonelybunny it's awful isnt it. It's just rubbish that we have to choose between work/money and our children. How old is your little one? X

[Lonelybunny]

Yes it's heartbreaking :( , she will be a week off of 8 months when I go back and I also have a 7&6 year old . Silly thing is when I go back I'm not really that much better off and miss out onto children just because the cost of living is so high .......

[Murtette]

I go back next week and feel much the same MrsP23. The thing is, this is my second so whilst I know I will miss my gorgeous DS, I am also conscious that, in a few months time when he begins to have tantrums etc, I will be very glad of the break. And I anticipate that, in a few years time, when he and DD have their own lives, I'll be glad I have one too...although I still can't imagine a day without gorgeous snuggles and gazing into his eyes as he feeds.
The positive which I really focus on is that I will still have a really strong bond with him but that he will also develop strong bonds with those caring for him and you can't have too many people who love you in life.

[coupleswithtroublesTHERAPIST]

That is I think for most mums soooo difficult going back to work.
You've cared for your child for so long and then getting them ready on time. Someone else is going to care for the little one and we're off to work.

All the worries...

I did have a period in life that both me and my partner were working at the same time. Bringing and collecting the kids. Wondering what they are doing during the day.....

I know we're so lucky now that we both are self employed and our hours are so amazingly flexible that we both can take care of the children.

When I read about other mums, like you, feeling bad about going to work. I immediately remember how it was.
Hard, terrible, especially when they were ill.......

A big hug from me!!!
Take care,

Sylvia