So confused...just need to talk things through

[Orenishii]

If you'll indulge me... :)

I'm on ML from a full time corporate marketing job. I'm chartered and have freelance experience on the side. I said I'd go back in July and had enhanced ML pay of an additional 6 weeks pay at 90%. DH is self employed and wants me to quit to live off his earnings. I want to quit but think we ought to see on his varying wage.

Some questions, if anyone can help?

• I'm a VP and have to give 3 months notice period - can this period start before I go back?
  

• I would expect to pay back the 6 weeks enhanced ML pay..but to avoid that I can go back for a short period. However I'm concerned that I have yet to find and put my DS down for a nursery - what if I can't get a place?
  

• I said I'd go back in July after 9 months but is this set in stone...with enough notice could I extend it to the full year?
  

I just don't know what to do. I know I don't want to be in the City full time with DS in a nursery 8-6 kinda thing. Two ides would be a) quit with the least financial and notice period obligations and star a freelance consultancy. Or b) work from home with a nanny - I work with people in the US so have a shot at a remote working case, and I could manage DS in the morning and have a nanny come in from 12-5 when the US wakes up. That cost is so similar to 8-6 nursery fees, I would prefer that and plus, no commuting costs.

TBH my work scare me and HR works for the business, not the employees so I'm scared to discuss my options for fear of giving my intentions away. I'd rather go in with a fixed idea of my plan.

Sorry this is so long and indulgent - any thoughts or ideas are very gratefully received!

[doodledoodoo]

Can't advise I'm afraid but do agree that you shouldn't discuss it with HR until you have a clear plan. DO. NOT. CONFIDE. IN. ANYONE. AT WORK.

[Tasmania]

You have the right to:

• 26 weeks of Ordinary Maternity Leave
  
• 26 weeks of Additional Maternity Leave
  

But everything depends on company policy. My current company is quite fair really - to the point that HR is actually on the employee's side when it comes to maternity leave matters.

[Rockdoctor]

Hi - I can't speak with authority on the ML issues although I would have thought your notice period could start while you are still on ML. If it was the other way round and you were being made redundant I'm sure they wouldn't wait until you came back to give you notice.

On childcare, I think it would be worth looking around at nurseries in your area anyway. I don't know where you are but here (SE) you are leaving it late to secure a place for July although you may be lucky as a few children will leave around then at the end of the school term. Personally, I work freelance and prefer to use a nursery 3-4 days per week. Having said that, I have access to an excellent village nursery and I know the DCs are being well cared for. I pay for 8-6 but don't always use the full day.

I would find it very difficult to work from home with a nanny. You would have to shut yourself off mentally and physically from what your DS was doing although he would be aware you were still around iyswim. I know some nannies aren't keen on this arrangement either as it is difficult for them to take full responsibility for the child and the relationship with mum or dad becomes muddled.

Not sure if this helps but, it sounds as though you want to work regardless, so in your position I would certainly be checking out childcare options while I formulate my plan.

[fedupwithdeployment]

You are entitled to up to a full year of ML. You need to give 8 weeks notice of your return to work. I cannot see why, if you want to leave, you cannot give your 3 months notice to tie in with what ever date you choose.

• I'm a VP and have to give 3 months notice period - can this period start before I go back? YES
  

• I would expect to pay back the 6 weeks enhanced ML pay.CHECK YOUR CONTRACT OR MAT LEAVE POLICY TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE TO PAY BACK.but to avoid that I can go back for a short period. However I'm concerned that I have yet to find and put my DS down for a nursery - what if I can't get a place? YOU PROBABLY NEED TO START LOOKING AT THE OPTIONS NOW
  

• I said I'd go back in July after 9 months but is this set in stone...with enough notice could I extend it to the full year? YES - see above.

[housesalehelp]

sounds like the free lance would be better option -although you have a right to request flexiable working - have you thought about childminders - they might be happy only to charge you for a short day -
look now at childcare options - the nanny /childminder section here is very useful - you could put name down for nurseries and look at childminders and research nanny costs - a nanny share might work for your freelance also
I would just put the money aside for potential paying back the additional maternity pay - I think going back for a short time would be v stressful -

[Chippychop]

If you work for a big corporate dont you have an outsourced company who give impartial advice? I worked for a major insurance co and we had one (your call... I think it was called but not sure who was behind it)

As I said I worked in mktg for a big corporate going back and pretending nothing has changed is just about impossible having a second is even worse. I don't care who roasts me but I don't think you can be as good an employee as you were pre kids. Corporates demand too much. Good luck