A B C or D all vote now!!

(34 Posts)
soconfuseddotcom Sun 06-Jan-13 16:35:02

Hey all, Hapy new year, hoping for a little help on a decision we need to make, DS is 4mths old, will be going back to work April possibly May. Still tearing my hair out as to what childcare will be best. DH and I both commute into London by train.

A) Have looked at 2 local nurseries, but both charge extra for 7.30 am drop off, 6.30 pm pick up. I'm have to be on the train 7am, but DH starts work a bit later and could drop off 7.30, I could pick up 6.30, but 8am and 5.30pm, (the nursery's usual start/finish times are cutting it too fine). Both were quite good, one I liked a bit better than the other, one offered a bettered structured day, but the other I felt offered better personal intimate care (a bit smaller). I liked the second, DH liked the first.

B) There is a nursery down the road from my work, 2 of my collegues have DC in this nursery and they are always singing its praises, and it has excellent reviews. Trouble is, its a bit more pricey than local nursery (being in London) although not a great deal, but also, the idea of taking a 7mth old on a packed stuffy communters train worries me.

C) Childminders - I'll admit I haven't really had a look on the availabilty of local childminders. I probably should.

D) Get a nanny - this is what DH really wants. He feels DS would be more secure and happy at home, and I kind of agree...but....I'm just not keen on the idea of another woman caring for my baby in my home, I know I'm being ridiculous, but I kind of feel like she would be replacing me, and play a role that I should be doing....anyone else ever felt like that? Or am I just being hormonal?

So, there it is, A B C or D....what would you do?

PetiteRaleuse Sun 06-Jan-13 16:37:38

C or D. D if you can afford it.

amillionyears Sun 06-Jan-13 16:39:09

Didnt like the look much of B, but dont have personal experience.

FestiveWench Sun 06-Jan-13 16:44:42

B will be a nightmare if Ds becomes ill during the day.

D sounds best.
Or C but I don't fancy your chances of getting exactly the hours that you want.

We use option C but make it work by having slightly flexible jobs that allow me to do a latish drop off (8.30) and dh goin in very early but getting back for a 5.30 pick up.

FestiveWench Sun 06-Jan-13 16:46:34

And local nurseries may ask for a local contact if you both have long commutes.

D

I had a nanny as a baby/toddler as my parents both worked in Amsterdam and left home at the crack of dawn. She was lovely and I adored her but I was never confused about who mommy was and even now 99% of my early memories are of my mother, not the nanny.

soconfuseddotcom Sun 06-Jan-13 16:49:07

Thanks, yeah I admit, it wouldn't really be wise taking him back and forth on a train, I'd probably annoy everyone on board with a buggy, i guess I just like idea of him being down the road from me, but probably wouldn't be best for him.
DH is still championning D though...

missmapp Sun 06-Jan-13 16:50:00

D if you can afford it, we used nirseries and were very happy, but the drop off and pick ups were a nightmare, and they are long days for a little one ( mine did this length day, so I can say that) being at home with a nanny seems better some how.

soconfuseddotcom Sun 06-Jan-13 16:51:52

SummerRain, I am so glad you feel that having a nanny didn't interfere with your bond with your mum looking back, did you feel closer to your mum or nanny as a child back then?

mellowcat Sun 06-Jan-13 16:52:00

I would go with D without a doubt.

WipsGlitter Sun 06-Jan-13 16:56:43

D if you can afford it. If not B.

turkeyboots Sun 06-Jan-13 16:57:08

D or C. B is madness as commuting with a child will be awful. We did A for a while and it was misery for all of us. DD was first in and last out of nursery every day and we were still having to cut an hour or so out of our day to do drop offs and pick up.

But nannies are expensive and good childminders like gold dust. We moved out of London entirely in the end, and I work from home now, with DC in local nursery.

Good luck!

Badvoc Sun 06-Jan-13 16:59:45

D

turkeyboots Sun 06-Jan-13 17:00:22

Oh, and Southeastern trains didn't let me on train with buggy at rush hour. Trying to juggle baby, bags and folding buggy was not fun, and that was a "fun" trip on a day off.

deleted203 Sun 06-Jan-13 17:01:58

C if you can find a good childminder. They are a far better option that nurseries IMO.

bbface Sun 06-Jan-13 17:02:54

If D is an option, it is really a no brainier.

Do a little research on what is best for children. After parents and family, it is overwhelmingly nanny. This will change as your child grows older, and then nursery plays a more important role. But if D is an option, Absolutely D.

ShebaQueen Sun 06-Jan-13 17:03:51

I tried A and C with my two although it was many years ago. A was too stressful, rushing back and commuting when the trains were (are) unreliable. My son was exhausted. C worked best for us, but we were lucky to find someone flexible and someone my sons really loved (still do!).

Good luck with whatever you decide.

LimeLeafLizard Sun 06-Jan-13 17:05:15

D if you can afford it.

I could not, and did A, which worked well as I chose a very small nursery - just 4 FT staff and a cook. I knew all the staff, they all knew me and my children.

I'd consider a childminder but depends how many children she has / what ages. Round here they seem to take quite a lot at one time and spend a lot of time walking to /from the school run. But if you find a person you really like who has a good routine for your child, then it could prove as good an option as D, but less expensive. Can't hurt to check it out, anyway.

BuffyFairyTopsTheTree Sun 06-Jan-13 17:14:54

D if you can afford it. A one-to-one bond with a caregiver is a good thing and you won't be stressing if something comes up at work and you have to stay a bit later. Also, a nanny could still look after your DS if he is ill.

Otherwise C. I have to pay my childminder extra for outside normal hrs but I'm very happy with the care she provides. It took a lot of searching though. Good childminders with a place for under 1s go quickly.

soconfuseddotcom Sun 06-Jan-13 17:16:42

D is certainly going to be the most expensive...we would certainly have to make sacrifices and cut our monthly saving to afford, but then again, we would still be able to live comfortably.
Does anyone know what the norm is at the moment for childminders - would he be the only baby? Would the childminder be rushed off her feet with lots of little ones?
Thank you all for the advice smile

EverythingsNotRosie Sun 06-Jan-13 17:18:34

Without a doubt, D, if you can afford it. I wish I could!

missmapp Sun 06-Jan-13 17:21:32

The reason we didnt do childminders when the dcs were little was I didnt like the idea of them being in the car alot doing school pick ups etc. HOWEVER, they now both go to a childminder and I wish I had used that route when they were little. Their nurseries were fab, but our cm is so great, I know she would have given them a fab time.

Generally there will be a few other children, of diff ages, but that is what my dcs love the most- loads of children to play with!

twofalls Sun 06-Jan-13 17:26:10

Those are long days for a baby in a nursery. I would def go for d. Worth a few sacrifices I think.

OddBoots Sun 06-Jan-13 17:28:36

Do you have any friends in the same kind of boat with whom you could maybe have a nanny share?

GardenWorm Sun 06-Jan-13 17:40:00

C; when you get a good one you'll realise they are worth their weight in gold! But sounds like you can afford D which would be easier still. I do the London commute - would never attempt a nursery in London. Also nurseries charge loads if you are minutes late, childminders tend to be a bit more flexible once you have a good working relationship. Oh and as they will have less children your little one may pick up less bugs!

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