Help oh wise mn'ers with your collective wisdom please!

(8 Posts)

I haven't worked for over 5 years. my son is in year one at school and well settled in so obviously it was time for me to start moving on.

By some humungus miracle the first time i looked for jobs i saw one that sounded perfect and as if it had been created for me and my weird eclectic skills background, applied, miraculously was invited for a scary day of interviews and panels and group discussions and beyond miraculously got the job.

It is a great job landed in an employers market at a time of mass unemployment so i should feel massively boosted and confident right? But i don't! I feel terrified and concerned that maybe they'd all been on acid the night before or something.

Aside from the how the hell do you get your confidence up after years of not having to prove much to anyone and being invisible and quite cosy in your home world i want to know:

- what are your top tips for the first week at work (re: how to handle meeting lots of people, introducing yourself, work politics etc etc)

- how do you cope with being out there busy for hours a day and then back at home still with all the same work to do there as used to be your full load iyswim

- for those who've done project management type stuff or jobs where you literally have a desk, computer and a phone and have to create a service/dept/'entity' how do you busy yourself in the early days and not feel like a complete fraud

-anything else you can say to advise or encourage me.

should mention that i'm a single mum with zero input from my child's father so no partner to lean on or share the load with.

hoping mumsnetter's can help me as i am honestly daunted!

whattodoo Thu 08-Nov-12 20:13:05

Wow, well done!
I always feel like a fake when I get a new job, surely my unsuitability will soon be discovered.
But gradually it becomes more comfortable, most people are friendly and want to help you settle.
Try very hard to keep out of the politics. Nod and smile, but offer no opinion. Take your time to make your own views on the politics.
I can't offer advice on the actual role you've got, other than maybe ask to spend a day with each dept to see how the business works from the inside?
As for home - accept that you're not going to live in a show home. Use help if poss - online groceries, send out ironing, get a cleaner?
I have a plan for each day - Monday wash bedlinen, clean bathroom. Tues wash towels, clean bedrooms etc etc. It helps me feel relatively in control.
Good luck!

thanks for replying whattodo - was feeling very ignored smile

no chance of a cleaner or outsourcing ironing sadly. already live in what is far from show home states so no worries there except it can't afford to slip much further obviously. the major issue is the laundry and it's endlessness and how that's going to increase with my constant need for smart, clean, ironed clothes for work rather than spending half my life dossing around in yoga pants and old jumpers.

that's a good idea about spending days with different depts actually - i can jiggle that to fit my specific work place and areas i would like to observe and understand better. thinking it would also be good to go and see how it's been done elsewhere - as in find out about best practice and go talk to the people who are doing it. thinking it would be good to spend up to christmas getting to know the place, people and resources and researching then have a plan and suggestions prepared to present to my line manager in january and sort of get him to sign off on it so i feel confident going forward and have covered my back a bit?

thanks for replying.

whattodoo Fri 09-Nov-12 17:23:21

Ah, what I wouldn't give for a housework fairy!

I know what you mean about endless washing, i'm starting to mentally work out how I can organise myself sufficiently so I don't have to tackle laundry on Christmas day!

Sounds like you're starting to feel more confident about work - they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you were right for the job. I think you'll quickly find your feet and make your mark.

thanks. confidence is up and down like a yoyo.

well mostly down and then a slight upswing towards oh it'll be ok wink

going to visit a childcare provider this week - i don't need regular childcare as an essential but want someone to fall back on so will have ds picked up once a week by this lady and kept for a couple of hours if i like her. it won't cost much and will mean that a) i have a couple of spare hours which may be very handy but more more importantly b) if i have to do out of school hours (which i will have to sometimes) and family aren't available i have established childcare up and running and no panic stations.

will cost me £8 a week which realistically is worth it for the peace of mind i'm thinking even if i don't strictly need it as such.

also being very happy to help with other mum's at the minute in the hopes they'll be happy to help me if i need it blush

Viviennemary Sat 10-Nov-12 13:37:43

I think if you can afford it a couple of smart new 'outfits' can boost your confidence. Because confidence is all in the'mind'. I keep telling myself that. grin I agree. You will be fine. They wouldn't have hired you if you weren't suitable for the job.

thanks. the timing was lucky as i hit the house of fraser sales and got some lovely frocks at half the price. my 3 section wardrobe now has one section dedicated to 'work clothes' where they are all hanging new and pristine and ready to go grin

my friend is a firm believer that clothes equal confidence and infected me with the idea. i've picked a look that is smart but warm and 'me'. don't want to look like a receptionist.

(no offense intended to receptionists - i mean that whole uniform like 80's style black jackets and white shirts etc)

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