I am Mum to 13 month old twin girls. It's been a rollercoaster since I got pregnant. Following a difficult pregnancy they were born at 33 weeks. Since then both have had their difficulties. Anyway I went back to work about 2 months ago doing about 3 or 4 days a week depending on hospital appointments etc and using up holiday leave. Finding it really tough. Anyway last week I'm ashamed to say that I cried in work. Twin 1 has been having development delays and is behind in her gross motor skills. Dr phoned my mobile and floored me with talk of TTTS, bleeds in the brain and MRI scans. She has to have a MRI scan to check for bleeds on her brain and if this is the cause of her problems. After my phone call a colleague asked how I was and I'm ashamed to say I started to cry. Not just a tear but proper sobbing. I know that I bottle things up. We have been through so much with the girls. It just seems to be one thing after another. I would always just smile and pretend that I was fine if people asked how I or the girls were. So I guess all my bottled up emotions just exploded. Took a few days off work and went back today. People all seem to know about what happened and are asking me how my Daughter is. I'm in my thirties I shouldn't be crying at work surely? I'm worried that people will now think that I am weak or think less of me in work. Before I had my girls I used to hate women taking time off work for children being sick. Now I'm one of them. I always seem to be taking days off to go to some apointment or another and I feel guilty that I am not doing a good enough job in work. Work and homelife both suffering as I don't seem to able to devote enough time to either. Anyone else embarrased themselves or is it just me??
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stuffitunderthebed ·
06/11/2012 20:55
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