Choosing the Right Nursery

[maretta]

Tomorrow, I am starting the great nursery hunt with a few visits.
Does anybody have any suggestions for questions I should ask or what I should be looking out for??

[Bumblelion]

My youngest (just turned 2) is the first child of mine that has been to a nursery - my mum used to be my sole child minder. Now my mum is poorly (depressed) and is no longer able to look after my children (3 of them) I was in the same position as you of trying to find a suitable nursery where I felt I could leave my DD with least worries.

I visited a few during opening hours to see how the children were that were in the nursery.

When it came to finally choosing one, I found they were much the same as regards caring for the children, activities, stimulation, care, etc.

The one criteria for me was the opening hours (I work 9 to 5:30 an hours drive away from where I live) but the nursery my DD now goes to is open from 8 (which means I get in to work about 9:10) and finishes at 5:45 (but I have to leave work at 4:20 to make sure I am home in time to collect her) and the locality to my home.

My youngest DD has severe delay development and the nursery I chose was actually recommended to me by my portage worker (not recommended as such, they can't do that, but more along the lines of that they had another child in their portage scheme that attended the same nursery and they thought it would be very good for my DD to attend as it might "bring her on". She has been going for 4 weeks now (although she missed last week as she only goes 2 days and was on anti-biotics and she had to be on them for 24 hours before the nursery could adminster them on my behalf).

She gets a bit upset when I turn to leave but I know that by staying I am only prolonging the agony and that when I leave she is absolutely fine.

I find she gets very, very tired but she does seem to be thriving.

It is very hard leaving her but I have to work, have not got anyone else to look after her so I haven't got a choice.

I am sure you will find the "right" nursery for you.

[ThomCat]

I've been starting out on that road myself recently and going on what I've experienced so far, you just know when it's right.

I went into 1 where they have something called 'free play' where basically the child can do what they like from 9.30 until 11 and I hated it on sight. Thought it was terrible and knew instantly it's not what I wanted for Lottie.

Another one - I just didn't like ANY of the teachers. They all looked rough and had chewed finger nails (!) and generally in need of a scrub (! - how rude, but couldn't help how I felt!)- so put a big cross next to that one too.

Another nursery just felt right as soon as I drove up to it! Loved everything about it so although I have a few more to see I think I already know where I want her to be.

Questions - umm - well I suppose you should ask what a typical day is like.
How many teachers to how many children.

Good luck though - it feels like the hardest decision you've ever made I bet!

[handlemecarefully]

'Free play' sounds rather like an excuse for the nursery nurses to sit down and have a natter whilst ignoring their small charges.

[Angeliz]

we are starting down this road too, dd is 2.6 and so far we've only visited one. It's the one attatched to the school she "might" be going to so seemed ideal. On visiting however, i wasn't too impressed! All lovely teachers ,toys,place, but when i got home i said to dp..did you actually see ant of the kids smiling.......i am going to go down another route and look at different nurseries/playgroups as for that first year i just want her to have fun! I am sahm and don't need to put her in but thought it would be good for her! Good luck.....it's so hard isn't it?

[janinlondon]

Hi Maretta - a few suggestions. As Bumblelion says, the basics of opening hours are important. So are holidays. Some nurseries are open everyday except Christmas and New Year - others are closed for almost the same time as schools. Also, whether the fees are charged for nusery holidays. This varies widely, but most places now charge the same for each month regardless of how many closure days they have. Depending on your child's age, you might check out whether there are extra-curricular activities that you can opt in or out of - swimming/ballet/music/french etc - and what they cost? What is included in fees - nappies? breakfast? formula? etc. And another important one is how often and at what time of year they review the fees. Increasingly it seems this is an annual thing, and it would be a bummer to budget for nursery only to find that by the time you get there the fees are wildly different. Also, at what age do the fees go down? Some nurseries lower the fees at 2, others not until 3. You might ask what are the care ratios in the relevant age groups - some nurseries stick by the letter of the law, others offer a better service than legally required. And of course, what't the waiting list like. Is there an outside area for the kids to play in, and how often are they out? For how long? Ask to see the toilets - they may think you're a crackpot, but I think the condiiton of childrens' toilets says a lot about the care they are receiving. Then there's the Ofsted inspection - you can read these on the web. These are all important questions, but the most important is gut feeling. If you feel instantly that a place is right for your child, I'd go with that every time. Good luck. Hope this helps!

[janinlondon]

Oh and I forgot one - car parking. If you're going to have to drive around for hours to find a space at the collection/drop off times, or if you get a ticket twice a week, it WILL start to really annoy you after a while!

[GillW]

I'd ask them about their staff turnover (and how many of them are full time, so it's not different people every day) - and pick one which has some more mature staff, not all 18 year olds. The other thing which was important to me, but might not be to everyone, is how much outdoor time the children get (and what outdoor facilities they have). We picked one which certainly wasn't the smartest nursery we saw, but which has large grounds and a rural, almost traffic free location so that the children can spend a lot of time outdoors and go for walks every day. The poshest (and most expensive) nursery we looked might have been beautifully decorated, and all the equipment might have been brand new, but the only opportuntiy for physical exercise they had has an area of wooden decking about 10 feet square. No contest really.

[iota]

Check out how many of the staff are qualified or studying - some private nurseries get by with a lot of unqualified staff
Can you drop in unannounced at any time? Can you see the children in their room when you drop off and collect?
Are they allowed to get messy (paint, water etc) or are they kept clean and tidy by being restricted in the activities that they do?

[FairyMum]

I think you get a general feel for a place, but the kind of questions I asked were:

1. How do you discipline the children? (This is normally regulated, but I still think the way they answer the questions tells you a great deal)
   
2. What kind of food do you serve ? (Many nurseries feed the kids a lot of junk IMO)
   
3. Are children vaccinated ? (If your child is really young, for example, have most of the other children had their MMR...)
   
4. Procedure if a child gets sick in nursery
   
5. How will my child sleep ? Does your child have a specific routine for falling asleep? Will nursery stick to it?
   
6. If my child is upset for some reason, will he be left or is the staff ratio such that he will receive individual care? Very important in those first few weeks or months I think.
   
7. Ask about activities during the day
   
8. Are the children always stuck indoors or how much fresh air do they get ? (Very nurseries I visited had sufficient play area outdoors and many kept the kids indoors all winter)
   
   I would also bring my child to visit. The way the greet your child is important I think. Good luck!!

[CnR]

I think it has already been said but I did truely just know which one was right on walking through the door. The one I went for had youngish staff but that didn't really bother me as staff turnover was high, the manager and owner were lovely and parental contact was really encouraged. there was a lovely all weather play area out the back and loads of children's work displayed on the walls and around the site. And I saw nursery nurses caring for their charges - holding them, cuddling them, talking and playing with them. Activities were wide and varied for all ages too; important to me as DD was going at 20 weeks, and we plan for her to be there until school age.

DD is now 19 months old and absolutely adores it - runs and knocks on the door to be let in as soon as she is out of the car; she knows all the staff by name and loves them to bits, and them her. It was defintely the best decision we ever made for her.

I was given a prospectus kind of thing that laid down hours, costs, etc. so didn't have to ask to much to be honest.

I also found that it isn't really practical to just drop by. Meal times are akward as all the staff are so busy, and just after lunch is nap time and staff don't want their charges disturbed naturally. I arranged a time and kept to it - much more professional for the nursery I think anyway, means that they are rushed away from activities with the children to deal with visitors and can choose more suitable times.

[Slinky]

Actually, "free-play" is NOT an excuse for the staff to sit around chatting!

At the nursery I work at (and my children attended) we have "free-play" during the morning up until around 10.30am.

During this "free-play", we have crafts, Lego/Duplo, puzzles, books, Home Corner, cars/lorries and more besides. A member of staff is situated at each table/area and the children are free to play with whatever they fancy. I enjoy this time in particular as you usually have a small group with you and this enables you to have lots of interaction (with the children NOT the staff!!).

I get fed up with "nursery knocking" - yes, there are some crap ones out there BUT there are many that provide excellent care.

Going back to OP - I had a "gut" feeling as soon as I walked in - when we went to visit the above nursery, DD1 cried when we had to leave as she wanted to stay and play! Whereas a couple of others I looked at, DD1 cried and clung to me (but I also had bad feelings as well).

I would also agree with outdoor play - we play outside every day (unless pouring rain!) - they have bikes/trikes/climbing frames/balls etc. It was great last winter when we had some snow - we all went outside and made a huge snowman!

Also, another point - make sure the nursery has a "keyworker" system (most nurseries do anyway).

[Slinky]

Another thing that I liked about our nursery was the owner actually works in the main 3-5year olds room. She is very "hands-on" and knows every single child in that nursery and it clearly shows that she has a genuine love for children - whereas some of them sit in the office, counting out the money!

[wilbur]

Good points Slinky. I agree with gillw about looking for an age range in the staff, we used have a mother and daughter working together at our nursery which was wonderful. Also, find out where they recruit from mostly - if it's all from the local college then you might find the staff all have the same ideas and there isn't anyone to mix things up. Also, re qualifications, I think you can be flexible, for instance someone who trained as an art teacher works at our nursery, she doesn't have a specific nursery qualification but is brilliant with the kids and of course with the arty stuff, so I have no problem with that. I am very happy with the set up now - ds originally went to another, larger nursery, more flash but less soul and we are very glad to have moved him. The larger nursery had more than one baby room and no keyworker system as the staff swapped between rooms the whole time and you couldn't get to know them. Also they were rubbish about lost property, I must have lost about 3 complete outfits, masses of socks and about 6 bottles in only a couple of months. Anyway, ds loves where he is now, and I love it when he comes home telling me stuff about his day. Dd is now there with him 2 days a week while I get back to working (which I should be doing now).

[Norma]

Personally I would choose a Childminder. Have you considered a Childminder?

[maretta]

Thanks for this - this is all really useful.

I would consider a childminder, especially for the first few months - DS will be 8mo. I'd be even more nervous about choosing one though.

I'd rather not leave him at all but I need a couple of days a week back at work to restore my sanity. DH is rightly concerned that I'm getting depressed on my own at home every day.

[maretta]

Also what is a - key worker system -

[bossykate]

maretta, have a look at this .

hth.

[Slinky]

Maretta

Hopefully, if your chosen nursery has a "keyworker" system, then it should run as follows: your child would be allocated one member of staff who would be his "special" carer.

A keyworker is the person who builds a secure and positive relationship with the child in their care. They monitor and provide for the development and emotional needs of the children they care for.

They work in partnership with the parents at all times, and should regularly discuss their child's achievements, needs, and any concerns.

The child's progress is recorded by regular observations and assessments on their development. These reports should be made available to parents.

HTH

[handlemecarefully]

Ooops sorry Slinky! Didn't mean to inadvertently knock your profession.

Maretta,

Apologies if anyone else has already mentioned this, but I would also ask to see the menu. My dd's nursery is generally good, but I am thinking about saying something about the food (eg yesterday baked potato and beans, and today macaroni cheese...ummm - so where's the veggies?...chicken nuggets are also an all too regular meal)

[Slinky]

Don't worry Handlemecarefully

Occasionally I get upset when I hear people knocking nurseries - worst thing I read (on another parenting site!) was someone comparing them to a Romanian orphanage - made me want to scream!!

As I have my own children, I treat the children in my care as I would want my own children treated - lots of cuddles/giggles/stories and I become very attached to them - and tears are shed when they move "rooms"/go up to big school etc - as all of us childcare workers do

[jammamia]

I found talking to other parents a great help, give any parent a few minutes and any reservations, worries etc they have will come out! I spent an hour or so in the few nurseries I was recommended, in the one I finally chose a child upended a big box of lego and one of the nursery nurses turned round and smiled and said "that made a fantastic noise didn't it" with no trace of irony at all! I knew then I'd found the right place!

Also OFSTED reports are available online - they can help give a general overview of a place.

Most of all don't worry about it, it is a positive experience!!

[Dinny]

Maretta, it took me ages to find a nursery I liked for dd. So, my advice is - there is the right one for you, so keep looking.